Election Choices

I think the biggest losers in this election season are the people in America (us!).  In a hotly contested race of X versus Y, what most of us don't realize is that the difference between the two candidates isn't even a single letter (to speak figuratively).  We are faced with a "choice" of very liberal or the most liberal.  This isn't a choice.  The idea that we think we even have one is rather amusing.  I've had some good discussions (and disagreement) with my friend David about this and he has made some excellent points about voting for the person you really would want in office.  We aren't just limited to a two-party system.  We aren't required to vote either Democrat or Republican.  We actually can--shock!--make a real choice!

My standard objection to voting for a third party candidate is that it is a throw-away vote.  Or is it?  I suppose it might be more like stepping outside of the box and going against the flow.  Now, it isn't wise to do something because it goes against the flow.  But let me offer one question: when did we get ourselves to a mindset that "this person will do less of X than the other person" and therefore is a better choice, when neither one is a good choice to begin with!  Would this be how we would treat sin?  What is the "lesser" sin I can commit? (I am using an extreme here as an illustration only.)

That all being said.. my last objection to voting third party is that it seems to be a little idealistic.  I still have not been able to answer my own question of: what am I really accomplishing by voting third party?  Would it be to have a clear conscience?  It's not like I would be contributing to the lesser of the evils.  Or would I?  Isn't my vote a message that says I am disgusted with both parties?  Maybe I am just too much of a pessimist to think that enough of those kinds of votes would actually make a difference.  It seems unrealistic and impractical to think it would.

I am curious... what do you think?

IBC, Women, and Changes

I am really sad to read that Dr. Bailey has stepped down from the teaching team at IBC over the recent decision of the elder board regarding women's role in the church. I also read in the Dallas Morning News that Tommy Nelson at Denton Bible has strong disagreement over this decision. The full decision of the elders can be read here, but in brief, "At IBC we recognize that God created both man and woman in His image, that He offers the same Holy Spirit to both men and women at salvation, and that the same spiritual gifts are available to both men and women for service. While the New Testament seems to imply that eldership is reserved for men, the elders of IBC affirm that women in all other roles are scripturally qualified, spiritually blessed, and directly called to use their spiritual gifts to build Christ's Kingdom." Now, this is something that I initially agree with and think it is a good decision. I am stunned that Dr. Bailey would step away from IBC because of it, although in his position as president of DTS, it is not one that would be good for him to be associated with (when did we get to the place where truth, if it is truth, must be avoided because of political or economic reasons? Another subject entirely). I must say I have a great amount of respect for Dr. Bailey and will have him as my teacher starting tomorrow for the Bible Study Methods class I am taking at DTS. I feel really sad about Dr. Bailey not being at IBC or teaching there. I think he added a lot to the teaching staff. I hate to see the church divided over this issue (and yet it is only one of the many). I've been thinking a lot about the decision and have been wondering... Did the elders make the right decision? What was their motivation for doing what they did? And then I realized: I can disagree or agree, as I am convicted and study the subject myself. These are fallible men who make wrong decisions too. Please don't misunderstand me--I am not saying I think they are wrong. I still think they are correct, and if anything, I have serious doubts about why Paul would say some of the things he did about women. But this certainly has caused me to take a step back and think a little more about this. I hope to post more on this in the near future--tonight I just wanted to share what is going through my head and heart as I start to see some of its impact.

Inflation

This article is one that is worth reading and considering carefully:

 

http://biz.yahoo.com/bizwk/080818/aug2008db20080815021990.html

 

The reality of the market is that inflation has increased significantly and is only getting worse.  From a savings perspective, this means that you have to earn the inflation rate plus what your target earnings is.  If you are trying to earn 10% on your money, you'll need to achieve that plus the inflation rate, bringing your target rate to 20+%.  Other savings vehicles will need to be pursued.

A Lesson in Obedience from a Rock and a Stick

Today in the children's ministry the passage we covered was in Numbers 20:1-13.  The children of Israel complained against Moses and Aaron for bringing them out to the wilderness to die because they had no water.  Moses and Aaron went before the Lord and He told them to gather the people in one place and speak to a rock and the rock would bring forth water for all the people.  Moses was so frustrated with the people that after venting at them, he struck the rock twice with his rod.  Because of this, Moses was not allowed to lead the people into the Promised Land.  I was thinking about this and felt like God was really harsh with Moses.  He changed one little thing and was not allowed to go into the land that he had spent most of his life trying to go too.  But in thinking about the passage, some things came to the surface.

1.      God is serious about obedience, even in areas we might think are small.

2.      My frustration is not an excuse for disobedience or modifications to what God has told me to do.

3.      Moses' disobedience was a public act, not one that was private.  Public acts of disobedience have harsher consequences, because of the increased responsibility of the disobedient individual, due to the visibility of the act.

Why was it so important to speak to the rock instead of hitting it?  Primarily, because God said to.  By hitting the rock, it lessened the miracle of water coming out of it.  There had to be a huge amount of noise around the rock, with thousands of people grumbling and Moses speaking to them so that they could hear, and yet no water came out.  If the rock had been under a tremendous amount of pressure, hitting it, as Moses did, could have weakened it to where it would have burst.  There was more possibility of a natural occurrence by hitting the rock.  God wants the glory for what He does (as He deserves).  By speaking to the rock, the fact that water would come out could only be attributed as a true miracle from God.  This is a rather simplistic thought as to one possibility, but the point remains: obedience is important, and carries more weight in public matters.

The Democratic Position on Oil

From http://www.investors.com/editorial/cartoon.asp

Responsibility

One of the areas that I struggle with is misplaced responsibility and is an area I have been growing in with the help of my therapist.  In December of last year, he pointed out that there is a lot of shifting responsibility in my family, with me taking on more responsibility and others taking on less.  In doing so, I was carrying a large weight on my shoulders that was unnecessary.  One of the more freeing things recently has been to decrease what I take responsibility for.  Combined with my previous comments about acceptance, these two have been life-changing for me.

Sometimes we take responsibility for things we are responsible for, other times we take on responsibility for things we are not responsible for, and still other times we fail to be responsible for things we are responsible for.  The challenge is to distinguish between these.  One easy way of determining this is to ask myself: can I control it?  Let me give an example.

One of my concerns in having contact with my dad was what would transpire between us if the topics of conversation went to areas that we would strongly disagree on.  My therapist pointed out that in my thought processes, I was taking responsibility for how my dad might respond, when in reality, I can't control how he would respond, nor am I expected to do so!  The only thing I am responsible for is my side of the conversation, and I can freely choose to engage or not, depending on my free choice to talk about certain subjects. 

I used to think that I was supposed to "fix" things in my family, or make sure that things went well.  If person X is mean to person Y, then it is up to me to make sure Y is ok and that X won't be mean again.  If my brother was with a woman who treats him poorly, I would feel a burden for him and would try to think of ways that I could help.  If I saw a psychological need, attempted to assist, and if the person was resistant or flat out non-responsive, I would be agitated because I was taking on responsibility for their issue!  In all of these and more, what I found was that it's not my responsibility!

If person X is mean to person Y, it is up to person Y to stand up for him/herself.  My brother is an adult and has the maturity to make decisions on who he chooses to date.  The individual who needs psychological assistance can be given the card of a qualified psychologist.  If I am talking to my dad and he tries to bring up stuff about my brother, I can (and will) remind my dad that I am not interested in how he and my brother relate, but only how he and I relate.

On the surface, this sounds really harsh!  I used to think that real love was the romantic feelings and doing all these wonderful things for everyone and being the great person who is so nice and helpful.  In my reading and studying, what I've realized is that love is the acceptance of another person as wholly other and free.  To put it another way, another person is separate, distinct, and unique from me and how I relate to him or her is in every way possible one that encourages and promotes freedom.  Therefore, anything that I do that takes responsibility away from them ultimately is an unloving thing to do.  It is like trying to help the butterfly out of the cocoon, when it is through the struggle of getting out that strength is built and the butterfly can actually live and fly.  It means living with greater thought and purpose in how I relate to others.

The Wand and it's Master

This was an interesting parallel I observed while reading Harry Potter, although I doubt it was intentional by its author.

 

In the last Harry Potter book, Deathly Hallows, Harry faces Voldemort twice and both times Voldemort casts the killing curse on Harry.  What Voldemort does not realize is that his wand's master is actually Harry, and the wand will never betray its master.  So the first time the killing curse is cast on Harry, the wand kills the only thing in Harry that is not Harry – the part of Voldemort that was inside of Harry.  The second time, the curse backfires and kills Voldemort.

When Christ died on the cross for the sins of the world, He took the "keys of death and Hades" from Satan.  Christ's redemption of us gives us a new master.  When Satan casts curses our way, the curses can only kill or harm that which is dead, the "sin nature".  But because of redemption, because of the work of Christ, the new man or woman, the recreated individual that Christ has made a person to be, is protected.  Satan can threaten and make promises to lock us up or kill us, but the threats are empty.  Yes, he can kill us, physically, and even painfully.  But "do not fear him who can kill the body, but rather He who can kill the body and soul."  Christ is the authority over spiritual death, and this curse of spiritual death is now hollow when cast by Satan against a child of Christ.  The wand will never betray its master.

Pay Attention!

Much of what is being said in the political arena is either a blantant lie or a carefully spun story that makes a candidate look better.  It is critical to actually measure what is being said with what is common sense and what is actual reality.  A great example of this is the ridiculous proposals for making cars more energy efficient.

 

I have seen statements that amount to something like: "Requiring that all cars have fuel efficiency increased by 50% by the year 2020."  Let's measure this statement with a little bit of common sense.  Consider:

• 2020 is 12 years away.
• 12 years ago the price of gas was $1.27, a 239% increase
• Inflation, if we accept the traditional view (which I do not), runs at about 3-5% annually, which at 12 years, compounded at 4%, equals 60%.

Does anyone see the aburdity in the statement?  If I increase my car efficiency by 50%, but the price of gas has increased by a greater percent, and inflation has made my purchasing power weaker, I've still lost.  The statement has no value for those living in 2020 and is stated so as to sound "good" in the present.

 

Nevermind the disaster of allowing the government to regulate something else, which prevents a (formerly) "free" market to dictate the design and efficiency of cars.  If we want to drive big-ass cars, we must pay the price to drive them.  If we wish for a cheaper gas bill, we can get a more fuel-efficient car.  Actions and choices have consequences.

 

This does not even get into the falling value of the dollar and why gas prices are really rising.  But I write this to illustrate that we need to be cautious and exercise some careful investigation of what is being stated by all parties, everywhere.  Just because it sounds good and feels right doesn't make it true, practical, or a sound long-term solution.

Acceptance

About six months ago I was told by my therapist that the difficulties in my interactions with my dad were my fault.  Now, I had not seen or talked to my dad for seven years, but my therapist's comment was in reference to some of what had happened many years ago.  The short version is that as I grew older and began to develop my own ideas and opinions that were (in some cases, very) different from what my dad thought, he and I had more and more conflict.  Needless to say, this statement by my therapist came as quite a shock and completely stopped my mental train of thought.  How is it my fault?  After all, dad's supposed to be the adult!

And that is when I was told something that has been life-changing to me.  "Your problems in how you related to your dad were a failure on your part to accept your dad as he is.  You expected your dad to be an objective, unselfish father and that is simply not who he is."  In short, I had failed to accept my dad for who he was and is.  In the last several months, I have come to believe that this statement is not only true, but that acceptance is one of the most important ingredients in successful relationships and in personal growth.  A tremendous amount of pain in our interactions with other people may very well be rooted in our lack of acceptance for who those people are.

At first, I had a very difficult time accepting my therapist's statement.  I wanted a relationship with my dad that would support objective dialogue.  I learned in this difficulty that part of acceptance of another person will involve a mourning of the expectations as they are let go.  I had to learn to accept that the kind of relationship with my dad that I had hoped to have was not to be, but that by accepting him for who he was, we could have a relationship with one another (instead of none at all).  And that is what has happened.  I saw my dad for the first time on New Year's Eve, and applied this concept to our interaction.  I have seen him again and exchanged several emails over the last several months and our interaction has been very positive.  It has been positive in part because I have released my expectations for what I wanted him to be and instead have accepted him for who he is.  This has meant that I steer the conversation clear of certain areas, knowing that he cannot be objective in discussing them.  It means that I accept the fact that I will not receive his approval for certain actions or beliefs I have, and thus there is no point in asking for that approval.  This has been liberating.

You might be thinking that this sounds like a lot of work on my part; that the interaction with him isn't that great because I have to avoid certain topics, that he isn't being what a "real dad ought to be".  Well, it is a lot of work on my part, but it is work I am willing to do (for reasons I hope to discuss further at some point).  As for the interaction not being "great", what do we define as "great", except what we set forth in our expectations of others?  A dad being a "great dad" implies that he is exceeding a set of expectations that one has of what a "good dad" would be.  These expectations may not be realistic and if they do not match the person we compare them too, we have failed to accept the person.  What I am saying is that "great" is relative and when it comes to people, long-term positive interaction occurs as we learn to accept others as they are, instead of holding them to an unrealistic standard of what we want them to be, expect them to be, or think they 'should' be.  In practicality for me, it has meant that I significantly reduce what I expect of my dad, which then leads to having a form of positive interaction with him that is mutually beneficial.

Let me repeat again that acceptance is one of the most important ingredients to successful interaction with other people, whether this interaction takes places in friendships, family circles, or the closest type of interaction, marriage.  On the surface, it seems simple, but doing it is really hard.  Expecting someone to be on time when they are habitually late may not be realistic to who they are.  Expecting someone to do something your way instead of the way they do it may not be consistent with their personality.  It may not be the way you do it, but they aren't you (I have to remind myself of this one constantly!).  I didn't and still don't realize all of the places where this has an impact.  Do I accept this person for who they are now or am I expecting them to change, in some way, either in the short or long-term?

 

Christ and Growth

In the movie Prince Caspian, when Lucy sees Aslan for the first time, she is surprised that he is bigger.  Aslan replies, "Every year you grow, so will I."  This statement struck a chord deep within me, as I thought about how this applies to life.

As a child, the music I heard sounded nice; as an adult, I understand more of the form and structure that gives music its melody, harmony, and rhythm.  As a child, I saw the relationship between a man and a woman as a simple arrangement that people do; as an adult, I now see it as a lifetime transformation into oneness and unity with another human being.  Baby formula tasted good for me as a baby, but now a juicy steak is one that satisfies both the palette and appetite.  As I grow older, the size of my world grows in height, depth, and width.

But the greatest joy of all is that Christ has grown throughout all of this.  The Lord I know today is so much bigger than the one I knew several years ago.  Each day He grows larger as I learn more about Him.  Christ is not static and fixed, but alive and walking with me as I grow.  Even better, much of what I was told about Him has been changed, modified, or eliminated as He has brought me into deeper relationship with Himself.

I think perhaps the truth is not that Christ grows as I grow, but that Christ has humbled Himself for me—so that I might come to know Him in my finite, limited form.  It is not He that grows, but me, in that my eyes are continuously opened to a little more of what He has always been.

Post DTS First Semester

I finished the Intro to Theology class I have been taking at DTS this semester and have been reflecting on how different it was from what I expected and what changes have taken place because of it. I was scared of going to DTS, for fear that it would be a return to a religious dogmatism that for so long I've been walking away from. I expected DTS to be like my dad and was guarded and defensive going into the semester. I was not and am not interested in being brainwashed into the "Christianese" way of thinking, where you are a good boy or girl if you always start your sentences with "the Bible says…" And yet for a long time I have wanted to take some Bible classes and deepen my understanding of Scripture. My attitude was: "If this is anything like I think it might be (closed-minded, dogmatic, 'thus saith the Lord'), I'll be sad that the door was closed but I won't continue." Well, I have been very surprised in my experience at DTS. It's difficult to put into words what I feel about it now. I feel like this class introduced me to some concepts that have made the gospel of Christ more relevant and life-giving. I'd go so far to say that the Lord has given me hope. I suppose most Christians in every age have struggled with this question: how is the Bible and Christianity relevant to my culture, in my time, in this place; and yet also relevant to your culture, and in your place, and perhaps even in a different time? Does what the Bible says apply both literally and globally, without variation due to culture? I admit I expected the DTS answer to be YES! To the praise of Christ, it was not! The answer is more like: it depends (more to come on this in the future)!

If you have done any construction, there is quite a lot of preparation of the ground before any concrete can be poured. I expected my DTS experience to be like trying to construct a house without a foundation. The approach to "Christian truth" I was trained in by my parents was riddled with holes. It's a house built on a lot of sand. I was worried that DTS would only mix some clay with the sand and tell me to join the people saying the emperor's clothes were amazing. "But Dad, he's NAKED!" Instead, a crane was brought in, the house was lifted off the sand, trenches dug, pipes laid, pilings dug, and framing for the foundation has been laid. And while it is making a mess, it is a mess that I am excited about! I'm not sure what to expect, but I like what I've seen so far!

There is a scene in the first Lord of the Rings movies where Galdalf is leading the Fellowship through the dark, underground caverns of Moria, the dwarven city. He decided he can "spare a little more light in here" and as his walking stick starts to shine brighter it reveals an enormous cavern with pillars as far as the eye can see. The Fellowship gasps in amazement at the magnificence and enormity of it all. Rather than hitting the bottom and being disappointed with the shallow insufficiency of it all, what I learned this semester has expanded my horizons and made me realize Christ is so much more!

Financial Regulations

From this article on Yahoo Finance (my emphasis):

 

Wall Street profits could take a big hit if the government toughens regulations in a proposed overhaul of the U.S. financial system, the manager of the world's biggest bond fund said on Monday.

Gross referred to these Wall Street firms as "shadow banks" because they have raised billions in the capital markets, rather from savings and traditional lending. Less stringent regulations had allowed Wall Street to make riskier and more profitable bets than commercial banks.

This "shadow banking system," which consists of all the levered investment conduits, vehicles and structures created by Wall Street, is now facing liquidity constraints.

"Shadow banks will likely be forced to raise expensive capital and/or reduce the bottom line footings of their balance sheets," he said.

I tend to not be for government regulations, but in this instance I am all for them.  This is complaining that if the government toughens the regulations, then the investment bankers will have to have more capital (cash, real wealth) and less levered (debt) investments!  My response to this complaint:

 

Tough.

Contentment

The country song below expresses the value of contentment and maximizing the now.  I am not very good about either, having a tendency to be more like the girl in the song, thinking that I'll be ok "when...".  A game I played as a kid called Character Clues defined contentment in a way I have never forgotten: "Realizing that God has provided all of my needs for my present happiness."

Trace Adkins You're Gonna Miss This

She was starin' out the window of that SUV
Complainin' sayin' I can't wait to turn 18
She said I'll make my own money and I'll make my own roots
Mama put the car in park out there in front of the school
and she kissed her head and said I was just like you

You're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this

Before she knows it she's a brand new bride
In her one bedroom apartment and her daddy stops by
He tells her it's a nice place, she says it'll do for now
Starts talkin' about babies and buyin' a house
Daddy shakes his face and says Baby just slow down

Cuz you're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times so take a good look around
You may not know it now but you're gonna miss this

Five years later there's a plummer workin' on the water heater,
Dogs barkin' phones ringin' one kid's cryin' one kid's screamin',
And she keeps apologizing, he says they don't bother me I got 2 babies of my own one's 36 one's 23 it's hard to believe

But you're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times so take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this
You're gonna miss this
Yeah, you're gonna miss this

The Fed and Gas Prices

Over the last year gas prices have increased significantly.  As easy as it is to blame greed or even the war in Iraq for the gas problems, the primary culprit is the weakening dollar due to the Fed's economic activity.  Ultimately, the falling value of the dollar contributes to increasing the price for foreign goods (such as oil) because it takes more dollars to buy the same goods.  Why is the dollar falling?  The Fed has been aggressively cutting interest rates to attempt to prevent a recession.  Lower interest rates mean that an investor earns less on their investments then before (anyone seen their interest rates on savings accounts lately?) and thus US-securities become less attractive.  Furthermore, the Fed has been dumping billions of dollars of liquidity into the system to attempt to keep the credit crisis from affecting the economy as a whole (which has not been successful).  Two days ago the Fed announced a $200 billion dollar injection to trade the bad debt of banks for dollars.  They created this money out of nothing.  You can't do that without dropping the value of money by the same amount.  And sure enough, what happened.  Within two days oil rose 10%, is now above $110/barrel, and the Euro is now above $1.55..

 

In short:

 

Cutting interest rates makes the dollar less valuable

Dumping billions of dollars of "new money" reduces the value of the dollar

Therefore, weakening dollar equals increased prices for foreign goods (not to mention the soon-to-be increases in domestic goods)

 

What is disturbing about all of this is that the Fed is attempting to protect the economy from the consequences of poor decisions, instead of letting the market adjust itself.  If a bank was unwise in its lending activity (read, made poor business decisions), natural consequences take over.  If we try to interfere with those, it just makes things worse in the long run.  By dumping money and lowering interest rates, the Fed is playing a very dangerous (and stupid) game in an attempt to stop something that is happening.  It will just make things worse and the recovery longer.  I understand that much of it is political, but it is still stupid.  Politics and economics are not a good mix.

Politics in Oil

From this article (my emphasis):

The world economy could get some help with the arrival of a new U.S. president, and possibly a new economic policy, "and with this new situation it is very probable that the dollar will start to recover and thus permit a readjustment of the (oil) market," El Moudjahid quoted him as saying.

OPEC members meeting in Vienna last week decided to hold production flat, insisting markets were well supplied and blaming record prices on factors outside the group's control, including speculators and what Khelil called the "mismanagement" of the U.S. economy.

This is very disturbing. I read this statement as saying something along the lines of:

Unless there is a presidential change in the November elections which changes the US economic policy to continue its dependence on the oil we provide (as opposed to seeking alternate energy source), the oil prices will continue to rise.

Not cool.

Division

I have been reading in 1 Corinthians and came across the following passage in chapter 1:10-13:

I appeal to you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another so that there may be no divisions among you and that you may be perfectly united in mind and thought. My brothers, some from Chloe's household have informed me that there are quarrels among you. What I mean is this: One of you says, "I follow Paul"; another, "I follow Apollos"; another, "I follow Cephas"; still another, "I follow Christ."

Is Christ divided? Was Paul crucified for you? Were you baptized into the name of Paul?

Paul is being slightly ironic here and how appropriate. Did Paul die, are you baptized in Paul's name? Who is important -- the one who baptizes you, or the one in Who's name you are baptized? It is so easy to get caught up in the person we can see and forget the one in in Whom we worship. I find I do this all the time -- I focus on the sermon or person and forget that life in Christ is about life in Christ. In Christ!

Surrender

Surrender is an activity Christ has really been working on in my heart these last few months. I previously posted on dying to self, and as I read a book by Ken Gire called The Divine Embrace, it came up again.

“At the Cross we see how Jesus lost his life and something of how we are to lose ours. It was his responsibility to die. It was the Father’s responsibility to resurrect him. To us has been given a similar responsibility. Not to bring life out of death. But to die. Our responsibility is to surrender. The result of our surrender is not our responsibility. Understanding the truth of that has been liberating. It has also been sobering, because dying is the ultimate surrender of control… What if in our daily lives we start living like Jesus did?—dying to ourselves, giving of ourselves, surrendering ourselves… and God doesn’t come through for us? What if he overlooks our surrender? What if he doesn’t resurrect those moments of faith when we place the results in his hands, to do with what he pleases, when he pleases? What then?

Then we wait in the tomb another day. [!!!]
And another, if necessary.
For as many days as God appoints.

Because our days are in his hands, not ours… [and] all the resurrections of the daily deaths to which we surrender ourselves.” (pages 207-208, my emphasis)

My immediate reaction to this is “No way! You want me to wait another day/week/month/year?! It stinks in here!” But God is not primarily interested in making my nose happy, but conforming me into the likeness of Jesus Christ, and the example Christ set is one of dying to self. Why? “For if you are living according to the flesh, you must die; but if by the Spirit you are putting to death the deeds of the body, you will live.” (Romans 8:13) What must die is the flesh, that “wretched man that I am”. What must die is every part of me that is not conformed to the will of the Father. What did Paul say in Galatians 2:21? “I have been crucified with Christ and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me…”

I am reminded of the words of Job: “Though He slay me, I will hope in Him” (Job 13:15a)

Tax Incentive

From this article:

Under the agreement announced by the White House, Boehner and Pelosi, individual taxpayers would get up to $600 in rebates, working couples $1,200 and those with children an additional $300 per child. In a key concession to Democrats, 35 million families who make at least $3,000 but don't pay taxes would get $300 rebates. [my emphasis]

Reread the emphasized part. Families who do not pay any taxes are going to receive $300. This is ridiculous. The government is taking money taxpayers have paid into the system and giving it to people who do not pay any taxes.

Heath Ledger

I saw on the news that Heath Ledger died a couple of days ago, possibly from a drug overdose. This saddens me. Here is a man who had what we might perceive as 'everything' and yet his life ended in such tragedy. What comes to mind is the following statement by Christ:

For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? (Matt. 16:26)

Dying to Self

One of the books I am currently reading is called The Road Less Travelled. This is one of the most challenging books I have ever read, primarily because the author does not beat around the bush, but is very straight forward and honest. He shares an excellent example of what it means for different parts of the self to die in order to embrace where one is at in life. In the Balancing chapter, the author recounts a story of playing chess with his 14 year old daughter who was very disciplined at going to bed by 9 PM on weekdays. She had been wanting to play for a long time and was very excited about the game. The evening wore on and it started to get close to when she wanted to go to bed so she asked her dad to hurry the game up. He thought she was a bit too rigid about her bedtime and so insisted they keep playing, because "you shouldn't start games that you can't finish." After playing for another ten minutes, his daughter burst into tears and ran upstairs. He says, "I started the evening wanting to have a happy time with my daughter. Ninety minutes later she was in tears and so angry at me she could hardly speak. What had gone wrong?.. I had botched the evening by allowing my desire to win a chess game become more important than my desire to build a relationship with my daughter… Gradually it dawned on me that my desire to win was too great and that I needed to give up some of this desire." Here is where the dying of different parts of the self comes in. What does one do with this? Do you go explain to your daughter the importance of finishing a game—which would be ridiculous, but the thing an insensitive parent who is unwilling to change would do. "I have given up part of my desire to win at games. That part of me is gone now. It died. It had to die. I killed it… When I was a child my desire to win at games served me well. As a parent, I recognized that it got in my way. So it had to go. The times have changed. To move with them I had to give it up. I do not miss it. I thought I would, but I don't." (pages 67-69)

I love the above quote, especially when he states that for a time, his desire served him well, but now, it got in the way, and it had to go. There are many things that at different points in our lives has served us well. But do they serve us well now or are they hindrances to our growth? Does your/my desire to win get in the way of enjoying other people (and they enjoying us)? Do I really need to feel that I have to have everything figured out in order to be safe—understanding that for a time, that knowledge did serve me well, but no longer does? Ultimately, the point here applies to anything in our lives that gets in the way of us becoming people who are free of our own chains. "I can't", "I have to", "I must", "I should"—these are all common, useful phrases that reflect limitations and desires that have served us well. But do they serve you and me well now?

"When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things." (1 Cor. 13:11)

The "D" Word

Dispensationalism. I just finished a book by that title this morning, which is the last of the seven I had to read for a class I am taking at DTS. Wait, don't stop reading! This post may not be what you think it is about to be. I found the material presented in the previous books to be very interesting, relevant, and thought-provoking. This last book was, in a word, boring. I felt frustrated reading this book because I felt like it was splitting hairs. So, I have analyzed my feelings and frustration towards this and have a few thoughts to share.

I am just as guilty as anyone for splitting hairs over theological subjects (and for that matter, any subject). I have a love-hate relationship with debating. I love it for the mental exercise it gives, but hate it because it can be so divisive and emotional, not to mention I don't like being wrong. Sadly, I (and probably most humans) have a tendency to build a good part of my self-worth based on how I think I am being perceived by others and I feel it necessary to "help" that perception by coming across as "smart" and "right". That being said, I don't think the author of the book (Ryrie) wrote it because of this.

Let me say, to the disagreement of some, that I agree with the material presented in the book. But, and here is the question I have been pondering for some time now: to what end? What does this subject add or subtract to my life practically? It changes nothing of my belief in the person and work of Jesus Christ. It changes nothing in how I am to relate to fellow believers. I was tired after reading the book, not because it challenged me mentally, but because it was so nit-picky.

This question (To what end?) has been very convicting to me because it has provided a good look at how much time I waste, in the words of Christ, "straining out the knat but swallowing the camel." (Matt. 23:24) Jesus said this in context of condemning the religious leaders of His day, who focused on the letter of the law, to the neglect of "the weightier provisions of the law: justice and mercy and faithfulness." (Matt. 23:23)

Thus, I follow this with another question to myself: what is my purpose of going to DTS? If I am not growing in my relationship with Jesus Christ and in loving His people through this experience, then it profits me nothing (1 Cor. 13:2). If it serves to give me more material to buttress my position with and finer strands of hair to split, it is wasting my time. This is not to say the study of Scripture is pointless. I love how Vincent Van Gogh put it: "You read books to borrow therefrom the force to stimulate your activity… but I read books searching for the man who has written them." In my reading and studying the Bible, am I searching for the God who wrote it? Are you?

Dad

I met my dad for lunch on Monday. This was the first time I have seen him in seven years. No, that is not a typo. Seven years.

My thoughts and feelings towards it are different from what I expected. I had built this up for so long in my head that I suppose the idea of meeting him contributed to being an obstacle to actually meeting him. Reality is quite different from what is envisioned and I continue to learn this truth the longer I live. In other words, what I think versus what is, which therefore requires me to change my thinking to conform with what is real!

I don't regret the time it has taken to be at this place. If anything, it is another sign that healing has taken place and I praise God for this work in my life. I will say, that use of the word 'never' is not really a good idea, because God specializes in making the never happen.

One of my biggest questions now is: where do I go from here?

Peer-Reviewed Research

This article on peer-reviewed research methods caught my eye. This quote from the article sums up the subjectivity of the claim to validity based on a "peer-reviewed" status:

Couldn't a group of individuals committed to promoting their own research -- which may or may not be well-founded -- get together to form their own "journal," which they could legitimately claim publishes "peer-reviewed research"?

They can, and they do.

Chesterton

I love this quote:

But the new rebel is a skeptic, and will not entirely trust anything. He has no loyalty; therefore he can never be really a revolutionist. And the fact that he doubts everything really gets in his way when he wants to denounce anything. For all denunciation implies a moral doctrine of some kind; and the modern revolutionist doubts not only the institution he denounces, but the doctrine by which he denounces it. Thus he writes one book complaining that imperial oppression insults the purity of women, and then he writes another book in which he insults it himself. He curses the Sultan because Christian girls lose their virginity, and then curses Mrs. Grundy because they keep it. As a politician, he will cry out that war is a waste of life, and then, as a philosopher, that all life is waste of time. A Russian pessimist will denounce a policeman for killing a peasant, and then prove by the highest philosophical principles that the peasant ought to have killed himself. A man denounces marriage as a lie, and then denounces aristocratic profligates for treating it as a lie. He calls a flag a bauble, and then blames the oppressors of Poland or Ireland because they take away that bauble. The man of this school goes first to a political meeting, where he complains that savages are treated as if they were beasts; then he takes his hat and umbrella and goes on to a scientific meeting, where he proves that they practically are beasts. In short, the modern revolutionist, being an infinite skeptic, is always engaged in undermining his own mines. In his book on politics he attacks men for trampling on morality; in his book on ethics he attacks morality for trampling on men. Therefore the modern man in revolt has become practically useless for all purposes of revolt. By rebelling against everything he has lost his right to rebel against anything. (from G.K. Chesterton, Orthodoxy)

Credit Bail Out

I agree with writer of this article. I will go further and say that it is not the job of the government to save people when they make poor decisions. Actions have consequences. Sometimes those consequences are not pleasant. But that is part of life. This attitude that the government will/should take care of me is simply wrong. You are responsible for your own life. Be responsible!

Discernment

Discerning what is true can be very difficult at times. I have so many "voices" that speak when I think about my wants, needs, or desires. There are many sources of these "voices": fear, pride, masks, false selves, lies, wounds, selfishness, and the "real self". How does one discern which voice is "real"? How do I cut through all the lies, masks, falsehood, and sin and discover the "truth"? I do not mean that I am searching for some truth that applies to everyone, but finding what is really true about what I want or need. This is not an easy thing.

I am not an expert on this and in fact struggle greatly with finding my real wants and needs. I tend to overanalyze everything and in doing so, the "voices" are all clamoring to be heard and acted upon. I want to think about some practical ways that I can go about filtering through these voices to find the real me.

Pray

Ask for the Holy Spirit to guide me in discerning what is true and what is false. Ask for wisdom and strength as I dig through and sift through the voices to find what is true.

Identify what is false

What do I know is false? What have I in the past identified as false? Statements that are or have been identified as false can be discarded. In order to do so, it is helpful to create rational responses that can quickly address the falsehood. For example, there is a statement that frequently speaks that says, "You don't like to travel." My response is: "I don't like certain aspects about travel, but it does not mean I don't like the entire thing."

Talk to others

There is nothing like talking to someone else to get their point of view. So many times I find I am blind and can't see from a different angle and an outside point of view is so helpful for me to discover what I am searching for. This person is one that I trust completely and is familiar with my situation or struggle.

Write it down

Sometimes there are so many different voices that it is helpful to write it all out. I have been shocked to actually see in writing what my mind was thinking. Many times the lies and falsehood are very evident when they are seen (when brought to sunlight).

Carefully ask questions

I have learned through therapy that when trying to identify what I want or need, I ask the voices questions and keep asking to discover their source. Is the voice speaking from who I am or is it a mask? Is it what I really want, or is it only a wounded cry? In my travel example, I might ask: "Why do you make the statement you do not like travel?", "What aspects of travel do you like, if any?", "What travel experiences have been positive for you?", "Do you really dislike travel, or is there something else here -- a mask or false self that is presenting itself?", "When did your travel 'preference' change?"

Act

This is my least favorite. How can I act until I am sure? I am discovering that sometimes, I have to act on what I know now, so that I can have the new perspective on the other side of the action. I've struggled greatly with decisions before, some especially very recent, and it hasn't been until I've been on the other side that I was able to see what I could not see.

Light and Darkness

I have a quote by C.S. Lewis on my wall at home that says:

I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.

John writes in 1:4 that "In Christ was life and the life was the light of men." The picture I would like for you to imagine is that of a man (or woman) walking around without any light. How is this person going to know where he or she is going? How can they give directions to other people who exist in the darkness too? How is this person going to understand what certain objects look like if they have never seen before? This is the state of an individual before Christ enters his or her life.

"The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness does not understand it." (John 1:5) I forget the following all the time: How can a non-Christian person be expected to live like a Christian? How can someone who exists in darkness be expected to see anything? I can point out all day long what I see, but without the light of Christ in the other person's life, they simply won't be able to see it.

Now, this on the surface seems very arrogant, but please understand this next point. Your world view will determine not only what you see but how you see it. Let's go back to our darkness example and pretend there is a lion in the room. Our person finds this lion and thinks it is a soft, warm animal. But if the light is turned on, the person might find the lion preparing for dinner! What was thought to be safe and good is now perceived to be dangerous! This is true for any world view, be it Christianity, humanism, evolution, etc. And don't misunderstand: Christianity is not just a religion. A relationship with Jesus Christ will change everything!

I do believe that the analogy Lewis suggests above is exactly correct and I have found that to be so in my life. There have been many things that before coming to Christ didn't make a whole lot of sense, but now that I am in a relationship with Him, I can see what I missed before. Until given sight, I wasn't able to see. Not that life with Christ makes everything clear -- there are still a great many things I don't understand, nor do I think I will understand. What I have found is that sometimes understanding is not what is important, but simply loving. I suspect many husbands would tell you they have found this to be true with their wives -- they don't understand them, but it doesn't matter, they love them. I think Lewis talks about this in Mere Christianity.

A person living in darkness may have decided to wear armor because of the bumps, scrapes, and pain that has been experienced without light. And this person may think someone crazy who comes up and says the armor isn't needed! Of course it's crazy -- if you can't see anything. But when light fills your world, when you are given sight, what a difference it makes!

Thus, and this is more for me than anyone else, I need to remember what darkness was like. I need to remember my former state and consider the impossibility of expecting a blind person to see. Unless Christ turns the light on in their heart, they won't. Screaming at them (figuratively or literally), trying to stop them, trying to explain things to them simply won't work. It is Christ, the light of men, who gives life and makes a blind man see.

Enchanted

I saw the movie Enchanted twice this weekend. Yes, it was that good! Fantastic movie! I highly recommend going to see it. I think it will be up for several nominations, including film score, screenplay, and perhaps actress.

One thing that I noticed was how innocent fairy tales are. It made me wonder what exactly the fairy tale women do on the night of their marriage to Prince Charming. I mean, the entire romantic ideal is leading up to this perfect kiss and dance. And let me tell you, there's a whole lot more than that going to happen on the wedding night! The thought made me laugh. Can you imagine how shocked Cinderella and Snow White were? Happily ever after might just be preceded by "You want me to WHAT?!"

Grace

This one little word represents an immense struggle in my life. I was thinking this morning that if I just understood grace, then I wouldn't be so hard on myself. Then I realized: the very definition of grace excludes understanding it! Grace is unmerited (unearned) favor. It is a good gift that I don't deserve. It is forgiveness in the midst of law and my violation of it.

The older I get, the more I see that my struggle with giving to and receiving grace from others is rooted in the lack of grace I give myself. And the lack of grace I give myself comes from my fear of losing control. Grace is very control-free. It is very unnerving to realize that my entire standing before God is completely because of Him and nothing that I have done, am doing, or will ever do. By fully accepting God's grace, I am essentially acknowledging my helpless state!

Now, theologically I believe in God's grace and the reality that it is undeserved. But it does seem that there is a disconnect between my mind and heart. For example, I think about how I am not a loving person. Then I start getting onto myself about not being as loving as I want to be. Then I start thinking about what I need to do in order to become more loving. And then I get discouraged because it seems overwhelming. And then I get frustrated because I am not loving, I want to be loving, but it seems impossible. And I keep trying to figure things out, figure out what I need to do, think, say, etc. in order to be what I want to be.

Where am I going with this? I don't know. I think this goes back to an earlier post where I felt God was telling me to "Be still and know He is God." I am not a standard for myself and maybe what He wants from me is the surrender of this standard of measure by which I measure myself (and others). He wants me to accept His Word about who I am in Him, regardless of what I think or feel about myself. And, He wants me to accept the fact that I won't be able to understand why He gives grace, or how deep His grace is, or how He is going to change me, or the million other questions I keep trying to solve. I'm the patient who keeps trying to tell the doctor what to do.

Cohabitation

Another interesting article, this one about cohabitation.

Couples who move in together before marriage have up to two times the odds of divorce, as compared with couples who marry before living together. Moreover, married couples who have lived together before exchanging vows tend to have poorer-quality marriages than couples who moved in after the wedding. Those who cohabited first report less satisfaction, more arguing, poorer communication and lower levels of commitment.

Hard Work

I really enjoyed this post. From the article:

You may think this is harsh, but it's not. Hard work is the single most important thing you can learn in life besides devotion to spouse and parents. One reason people become failures and/or criminals is because they never learned to work.

People who develop the habit of hard work don't become bums or drug addicts, and don't wind up in middle age with suicidal self-loathing. "Work, generally speaking, is the single best cure for any malady of soul or mind," said the greatest thinker in English history, Samuel Johnson. (I'm paraphrasing here. The exact quote is slightly different.) Work elevates the spirit, disciplines the mind, conveys self worth -- redeems life itself.

A Thief of Joy

Fear is a thief of joy. I continue to see this almost every day. Not only does it take away the enjoyment of today, but it robs you of the anticipation of tomorrow and the satisfaction of yesterday.

I've been thinking about this specifically in relation to the retreat I came back from this weekend. Leading up to the retreat, I wasn't very excited about going. I invented scenarios in my head and had gone down the road mentally of several "what ifs". So I wasn't very excited about going; if anything, I just wanted to get it over with. Now that I am back, I can look at the worries I had before going and I see that almost all of them were unnecessary. I wasted a great amount of mental energy and allowed worry and fear to steal my joy.

This applies to a great many areas in my life. One of the big areas I feel like Christ is growing me in is this area of trust and releasing fears. One of the fruits of the Spirit is joy! Without joy, life is no longer life--it turns into a repetitive emotionless search for meaning.

Choosing not to worry is not easy at all. But aren't all good things in life worth fighting for? Is not joy worth fighting for? Even the joy on the other side of difficulty, such as Christ enduring the cross for the joy set before Him, in Heb. 12:2. Don't let fear steal your joy!

Manhood and Outdoor Activities

John Eldredge in his books strongly argues that outdoor activities are a necessary part of manhood. I want to add a word of caution to this belief because I think it is easy to misinterpret his argument and take it to an extreme.

Outdoor activities do not prove oneself as a man. They help build confidence, allow a man to exercise his strength, and can be helpful in confirming what is already true, but do not make one a man. If I measure myself as a man by the success of these activities, then any failure in doing them will result in me questioning my manhood! Suppose I decide to play baseball and discover that I am not good at it. If I measure myself as a man based on how I play baseball, I will believe that I am a failure as a man (this can be applied to anything: rock climbing, cycling, etc.).

Is it any surprise that men get so angry at times when they feel they are failing? Part of the problem may be that men believe this lie that says I must succeed at this in order to be a man. We are constantly trying to prove our manhood and when we fail, we get angry and underneath this anger is the fear that we aren't really men.

Am I defined as a man by my successes or failures or am I defined as a man by my God? Do I accept the definition of manhood that the world gives based on the sports and athleticism? Do I focus on whether I feel like a man today (which is as inconsistent as the weather) or my standing and place before Christ? Is a "real" man never afraid, never weak, never uncertain?

It is worth paying careful attention to why activities are done. Do you feel angry if you aren't doing well? Go there - why are you feeling angry? What unfinished place inside of you is the fear speaking from? Are you believing a lie that defines your manhood by your success at this activity? Ask Christ to show you who you are in Him.

Marriage and a Ropes Course

I have previously had an opinion that an ironclad commitment in marriage is unrealistic, because either party can change, and the change could be for the worse. The idea of staying married no matter what seemed a little extreme. What about abuse, affairs, or giving up? I have been told by a married friend of mine that it wouldn't matter. Really? I didn't believe him, mainly because I see my humanity and feel that at some point in a bad marriage, I'd be done. (Now, his belief is that it wouldn't stay bad if you keep trying.)

This weekend I did a ropes course and was very surprised by what I experienced in doing it. Before doing it, I wasn't sure I could do it. I didn't know about finishing. I set my goal to be at least make it through the first part of it. Here was the shock. When I set foot on the course, something clicked in my head and there was no going back. I was going to finish. There was no question about it. Something inside of me knew I could and would finish. There were a couple of things I have never tried in my life, that I've been deathly afraid of, and something inside of me did not allow any hesitation. It was a feeling that I had made a decision and I was going to follow through with it, no matter what fears or difficulty I faced. I was securely fastened and I would be fine.

How does this relate to marriage? I feel the idea of marriage is very intimidating... it is for life! But experiencing the ropes course over the weekend made me realize that when the decision is made, something inside of the brain changes and there is a commitment to the decision that could almost be described as irrational! Perhaps this is one of the part that love plays in a relationship--it causes us to do things that normally our brain would determine as irrational (not that I am suggesting to abandon yourself to emotions and ignore your mind; there is room for wisdom and making smart choices).

The presence of Christ in my life as my Lord is the truth of being securely fastened in the course--that even if I fall, He will catch me, pick me up, and set me back on the course. As I navigate through life, in the experiences of a relationship, work, marriage, friendships, or school, He is the harness around my waist, the rope that fastens to me, and the anchor that keeps me safe.

David's Praise

I read this morning a verse in Psalm 34:4, 7-8:

I sought the LORD, and He answered me, And delivered me from all my fears... The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear Him, And rescues them. O taste and see that the LORD is good; How blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him!

This passage gives me great comfort. David is testifying that God came through for Him and promises that He will come through for me.

Be Still

Cease striving and know that I am God. (Psalm 46.10a, also translated Be still and know that I am God)

I was riding on the bike this morning and was thinking about what I needed to do, what I wanted to do, and what I was afraid to do. I was mentally making a list of all the things I dislike about myself that I wanted to work on. It started to become very overwhelming and this verse came to mind. It is a difficult verse for a type-A, super-achiever, perfectionist to understand. You want me to do what!?!? Or better, you want me to stop doing?!? If anything, my natural reaction is to try harder, to do more, to try to find "the fix". I keep endlessly searching for who I am, which as helpful as that might be, who I am will still be a dead end in the end. Don't get me wrong -- I am all for deep soul-searching and seeking to know one's past so as to understand its impact on the present and future. But I keep getting caught up in the circular reference of self.

Maybe what God desires of me is less of me striving and more of me listening to Him. When Mary and Martha had Christ over for dinner, Martha was busy preparing the food while Mary was sitting at the feet of Christ hanging on His every word. Martha was mad at her and told Christ to make Mary get up and help her. Christ's response was, "Martha, Martha [Joshua, Joshua], you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her." (Luke 10:41) It is hard for a Martha to simply sit and listen. It doesn't feel like I am doing anything! But isn't that the point: it's not about what I am doing, but what He is doing! This is hard for me to swallow. And yet somewhere, deep inside my soul, there is a shout of joy. After all, my list is overwhelming.

In my typical type-A fashion, I start to but what about my... "But what about getting myself to a place where I can be a good husband, father, employee, family member, friend? But what about my fear? But what about my selfishness? But what about my..."

But what about God?

• So is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. (Is. 55:11)
• But he [Christ] said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. (2 Cor. 12:9)
• Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. (Is. 41:10)
• Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth Does not become weary or tired His understanding is inscrutable. (Is. 40:28)

Just a few verses, of the hundreds, if not thousands, that can be listed describing God. Perhaps my perceived limitations and insurmountable obstacles are just that because I am looking at me, buying into the lie that I have to figure this out all on my own. I'm like a dog who has a thorn in his paw: I'm kicking and screaming as my master is trying to get me to be still so he can pull it out. Maybe my master wants me to be still because he wants to love on me.

Cease striving and know that I am God.

Hillary Clinton

Yet another reason to be wary of Hillary Clinton.

East to West

Casting Crowns has a new CD out and their song East to West is amazing:

East To West - Casting Crowns

Here I am Lord and I'm drowning, in Your sea of forgetfulness
The chains of yesterday surround me, I yearn for peace and rest
I don't want to end up where You found me
And it echoes in my mind
Keeps me awake tonight
I know you've cast my sin as far as the East is from the West
And I stand before You now as though I've never sinned
But today I feel like I'm just one mistake away
From You leaving me this way

Chorus:
Jesus can you show me just how far the east is from the west
'Cause I can't bear to see the man I've been
Rising up in me again
In the arms of Your mercy I find rest
'Cause You know just how far the east is from the west
From one scarred hand to the other

I start the day, the war begins
Endless reminding of my sin
And time and time again
Your truth is drowned out by the storm I'm in
Today I feel like I'm just one mistake away
from You leaving me this way

I know You've washed me white
Turn my darkness into life
I need Your peace to get me through
To get me through this night
I can't live by what I feel
About the truth Your word reveals
I'm not holding on to You
But You're holding on to me
You're holding on to me

Jesus You know just how far the east is from the west
I don't have to see the man I've been rising up in me again
In your arms of Your mercy I find rest
cause You know how far the east is from the west
from one scarred hand to the other

I have highlighted some of the words that really stick out to me. My greatest fear is to become like my dad, a man overwhelmed by fear. This song speaks very deeply to my heart about the change and hope that is in Jesus Christ.

Seneca

One of my favorite philosophers is Seneca. I read one of his quotes today that said:

No man was ever wise by chance.

I have said before that fear is the thief of joy. Well, he agrees (or rather, said it first):

Where fear is, happiness is not.

Stupid

Well, I noted a couple of weeks ago that Apple needs to get its act together on allowing the consumer to do what they want with what they buy. And yet, here they go, continuing their stupidity.

Article

I thought this was a good article that Pastor Andy sent out today, especially the following quote:

Nietzsche argued that since the Christian God is the foundation of Western values, the death of God must necessarily mean the erosion and ultimate collapse of those values. Remove the base and the whole building will slowly crumble. For a while, Nietzsche conceded, people would out of custom or habit continue to respect human life and treat people with equal dignity, but eventually there would be ferocious assaults on these values, and practices once unthinkable such as the killing of people deemed inferior or undesirable would once again occur. This is precisely what we have seen in our time, and Nietzsche predicted that it will only get worse.

http://blogs.usatoday.com/oped/2007/10/a-christian-fou.html

Discerning Truth

A few days ago I noted that I wanted to post on discerning truth. This topic has been bothering me for a while, and I wanted to share my frustration and thoughts about it.

When I say discerning truth, I mean determining what is true and what is not. We live in an information age, and we are bombarded daily with expert after expert making statements that make the truth claim. And yet with all of these can't be true at the same time, because many of them contradict each other. We have studies that suggest that gender is physical and others that suggest that gender is sociological. Which is right? Is it reasonable to expect that one of the choices must be right?

It seems to me that one needs to develop a great ability to accept change, because what is believed to be true today may not be tomorrow. At one time, the earth was thought to be the center of the solar system; now, the sun is believed to be the center. As scientific discoveries are made, some things are proven to be true, others are proven false, and still others are shown to be partially true or false.

In addition to further discoveries, this is great disagreement on what is accepted at true. One cannot prove or disprove evolution or creation. This statement might be met with much disagreement, but we simply do not have proven evidence that proves one or the other (by this I mean a definite repeatable experiment that shows that chance changed the actual species of a living organism, or that God created the world). And so great arguments arise because (at least in my view) people are arguing on different foundations. If I accept studies X, Y, and Z as true, and you accept studies A, B, and C as true, and neither of us agree with the other's accepted studies, an honest discussion is pointless, aside from debating for the fun of it.

So much of what we accept as truth is really theory, perhaps very good theory, but ultimately theory. And the basis for truth seems to change constantly because different people and groups have different standards for deciding that something is true. For example, after reading a book on the female brain, the author convinced me that gender is genetic, because I define it as a physical thing. But my basis is the sperm's chromosomes and the testosterone explosion that happens in the sixth week of gestation. Another person may define gender in terms of non-physical attributes, such as mental attitudes or leanings. Thus, an argument over gender is rather useless until some sort of common ground can be reached on what will be accepted as true.

Thus, I am left feeling very frustrated, because how is one to have an open, honest discussion? You come from your point of view and I come from mine. Until we each understand where the other is coming from and what basis the other person is coming from, what you certainly won't have is good discussion.

One final thought and I am done. It is a silly thing for Christians to demand that non-believers accept the Bible as the basis for truth. It isn't productive to begin at that place. It's like trying to sail a ship on land.

Apple and iPhone

Yet another example of a company trying to control and lock down its consumers, to it's own hurt. In the technology industry, you don't lock down anything, unless you want a bunch of pissed off consumers. Apple needs to quit trying to prevent nerds from being nerds and embrace an open source concept that encourages innovation.

Oh the hypocrisy

So Al Gore won a Nobel for his environmental crap. And yet, as this article points out, his actions don't match his words.

It is my opinion that the environmental movement is ultimately about control, not about what is really true. This brings up another point which I hope to post in very soon, which is about discerning truth.

MP3 Music Downloads

Amazon has opened its DRM-free music store! You may download music from its store that is not copy protected, and it is in 256 kbps! Here is what Amazon says:

* Selection: Every day we add new music to our collection of over 2 million songs from independent and major label artists. We're continually working with music labels to offer more and more content in the MP3 format.
* Quality: Our MP3 tracks are encoded at 256 kbps, which gives you high-quality audio at a reasonable file size. This means your music sounds great and downloads quickly.
* Freedom: Because we sell MP3 files with absolutely no rights management software, you're free to listen to your music on any device you'd like.
* Value: Amazon MP3 offers high-quality DRM-free downloads at low prices. Find full albums as low as $4.99 and tracks as low as 89 cents.

Visit amazon.com.

I am an idiot

I was reading my brother's blog and he made a statement that caught my attention. In reference to what my dad taught us as children, he said: "I am a [huge] idiot for ever believing in all that [trash]." This is a statement I have made before, so I understand where he is coming from. I want to walk through some of the things I have learned through my healing process. Perhaps it will be beneficial to others.

In her excellent book, Becoming Real, Dr. Saltz argues that our childhood stories hold us back from becoming real, authentic, adult individuals. We create our childhood stories in order to survive and harmonize what we experience as we grow up. Let me give you an example:

• A father regularly tells his daughter to shut up when he is home.
• The daughter thinks: there something wrong with me. Here is where our childhood state limits us. We can't blame our parents because we need them. It is a terrifying thing for a child to imagine that a parent is wrong (where else will the child go?). In fact, we almost never do. Please understand that as you read this, you can see that the father is being an ass. But a child rarely will be able to see such a thing.
• Therefore, if the parent is not to blame, then the fault is: me. I am at fault, I am the problem, I am the issue. In the example of the daughter, she will feel that my opinion and words don't matter because I am not important and there is something wrong with me. I am worthless and don't have any value and that is why daddy doesn't want me to talk. It is easy to see this as faulty logic as an adult, but a child does not have such mental competence.
• The daughter will now grow up believing this, even as an adult, and will act in a manner consistent with the "story" (I am not worth being heard) she created as a child.
  

One of the purposes of counseling is to find such false stories and "re-tell" them in a manner that is true. In the process, one goes through a few stages that can be terrifying, uncomfortable, and painful. These are stages that I have been through and continue to go through as I discover stories, discover the deeper impact of already-discovered stories, and accept the truth of the newly re-told stories. These stages are not comprehensive or guaranteed to occur in the order listed.

Stage 1: I am not worth being heard because there is something wrong with me.
Stage 2: My parents were idiots and morons and I hate them. (we have identified that the fault is the dad's, not ours and then we switch our anger)
Stage 3: My parents are imperfect and probably have stories of their own they never dealt with.

Stage 1

We must identify the story and the source of the story -- why do I think this way? What was communicated to me, verbally or non-verbally, in my childhood? Who communicated it to me? What happened that caused it to be communicated to me? What am I believing about myself that may not be true? I identify the story, "Something is wrong with me", and then I identify the story's source, "Dad wouldn't listen to me." Once we have identified both, we can then check our conclusion. Just because dad wouldn't listen to me doesn't mean something is wrong with me. Maybe something is wrong with him ! And so we move to...

Stage 2

The years of anger and frustration we have aimed at ourselves comes boiling out at the people who have hurt us. All this time we have felt the fault is ours. We have discovered we were lied too, or treated horribly. The appropriate anger over this is felt and finally directed (sometimes verbally) at the culprit (and not us). Instead of feeling self-loathing, the daughter now feels anger and hurt from the words spoken to her by her dad. She is angry at him because of how he treated her as a child, and for just cause! I have said before that wounds must be felt before they can be healed. This is a very necessary and important part of the healing process. The caution here is when and if to express this to the parent. The daughter may decide not to discuss this with her dad, either because he is unavailable, or would not be receptive. What matters is that she finally identifies the person who was wrong and charges them with the wrong (by "charge" I mean ascribing fault), instead of believing that she was wrong.

Many, if not most, people get stuck before stage 1 or somewhere in stage 2. Either I am angry at myself and don't know why (or I know why and don't care), or I am angry with my parents, and stop there. It is scary to actually move beyond the wounded state and into healing. After all, a broken leg might get me more attention or care than if it were fine. I'd actually have to run the race of life a little faster if this leg were healed.

Stage 3

After accepting the story is false and feeling the anger and hurt towards the people responsible, we are then at a place where we can chose to accept the parent with their mistakes. You cannot skip from "the problem is with me" to this stage -- feeling the hurt and anger is essential to healing. Just as healing is personal, so are the decisions once the story is re-told. In my own life, I have chosen not to have contact with my dad, because he continues his destructive habits towards others. At some point, when I start to understand that I actually have value , it makes me a lot less likely to accept or even be around those who would try to deny it. But that is my choice. It is an extreme one, and likely not one you would have to make. What is important is to create boundaries in your life that are consistent with the new, truthful story. The daughter might think, " I am a person of worth and therefore what I have to say is worth hearing. Therefore, if I am interrupted or told to shut up by my dad in the future, I will gently, but firmly confront him and tell him that I am not finished or I want to talk (or arrange for a better time to talk when he will listen). If he does not respect this stance, then I will not talk to him." Our new boundaries will be met with resistance, both by ourselves and others. Our false story will keep trying to reassert itself and we will regularly have to keep reminding ourselves of its falsehood. And other people may have been spoiled to the "door mat" that we were for them that we will no longer be for them.

This is healing. This is when the person has reached a place of maturity, when a wound has been recognized, felt, and healed. This is when an adult acts as an adult, out of genuine wishes, desires, and choices, instead of wounds, false stories, and a battered self image.

Additional Thoughts

I want to emphasize again that the stages I have listed are not complete nor are they necessary in order. Healing is unique to the individual, and your healing will take a very personal route that is specific to you. The main emphasis of this post is that you are a person of value, and if you do not believe that to be true, you are acting and believing a story that is not true . It is worth identifying and seeking healing from such stories so you can live a whole life.

HDTV

I did not realize there was a deadline:

Congress passed a law on February 1, 2006, setting a final deadline for the DTV transition of February 17, 2009. Most television stations will continue broadcasting both analog and digital programming until February 17, 2009, when all analog broadcasting will stop. Analog TVs receiving over-the-air programming will still work after that date, but owners of these TVs will need to buy converter boxes to change digital broadcasts into analog format. Converter boxes will be available from consumer electronic products retailers at that time. Cable and satellite subscribers with analog TVs should contact their service providers about obtaining converter boxes for the DTV transition.

Interesting

I found this post to be very interesting. It is a good warning for the upcoming elections next year.

Bush Bail Out?

This is crap.

Famed bond fund manager Bill Gross said the White House should bail out the millions of American homeowners who face the dreaded prospect of foreclosure this year.

What is true is that millions of American homeowners' eyes were too big for their wallets and now they can't afford their mortgages. It is not the job of the president, Fed, or anyone for that matter to rescue people from stupidity and greed. And how would the White House bail the millions of homeowners out? With tax dollars, paid for by you and me. So in reality, if this were to happen, you and I would pay for the mortgages of other people who bought more than they could afford.

Flying

"A categorical refusal to fly often stems from a fundamental belief about life: the idea that "I need safety at all costs." We take a perfectly valid and functional belief, "I want to be safe," and escalate it into an unreasonable demand, "I need an absolute ironclad guarantee of safety." The trouble with this demand is that it causes you to misperceive the odds."

http://www.psychologytoday.com/rss/pto-20070709-000001.html