A Grace that Withholds

I was reflecting this morning on the first few verses in Ephesians and God's boundless grace. As I've thought about God's graciousness, I've realized that His grace is evident just as much in what He does not give as in what He gives. The Psalmist writes that "he does not treat us as our sins deserve" (Ps. 103:10). Jesus Christ paid the price and took the wrath of God upon Himself so we would not be the recipients of that wrath. There is so much to grace that is a withholding grace.

This is consistent with our experience in even the daily things we do. There are hundreds of things I withhold from my dog, not because I hate her, but because they are not good for her. In her perspective, I am probably quite a kill-joy at times, but saw blades and cigarette butts aren't good for her! Heck, she'd eat herself to death if given the chance!

For me personally, I can clearly see many things--jobs, relationships, activities, possessions--I thought I could not live without, and yet in hindsight, I am so grateful He did not give me what I thought I had to have. I am grateful He took it away. I am grateful His grace withheld.

Perhaps you can think of things that have been withheld or taken from you, that at the time seemed horrible, but now you are so thankful that He did take it from you. Grace gives--both in what we don't have and in removing what we don't need.

The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord. (Job 1:21)

Fear

As a child, one of the reasons I was very bad at sports was that I was afraid of being hurt--being hit by the ball, being kicked, being injured, whatever. Unfortunately, this was consistent with my attitude towards most things: being afraid of them. I've noticed that my dog exhibits similar characteristics. She too is afraid. She is afraid of other dogs because she is afraid of being hurt (having been hurt a couple of times before by another dog). As I was walking her this morning, we came across another dog who was quite the gentle and sweet dog, but Coco would have none of this dog, for she was afraid. I felt sad because she is missing the freedom of having interaction with her own kind and the fun that can be for her.

My dad's response to my fear was usually anger, which, can I tell you, is really not a good way to get your child to not be afraid?! I went from being afraid of the thing to being afraid of both the thing and his reaction! I was thinking about it this morning as I watched my dog's fear, wondering what I could do to help her.

How does God respond to our fear? Does He get angry? Does He wash his hands and leave us on our own? Does He throw us in the deep end and wish us the best of luck? Exactly the opposite! I consistently see God telling His people that He is with them when He is exhorting them to not fear. For example, in Isaiah 41:10 God says "Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you; surely I will uphold you by my righteous right hand." One thing to note is all of the spacial relationships in this one verse.

• I am with you - beside you (around you)
• I am your God - above you
• I will strengthen you; I will help you - in you
• I will uphold you - below you

Perhaps a better response to the fear in another is to enter into that fear with them. Be with them. Be beside them, helping them, supporting them, encouraging them, praying for them. I'm not really sure what this looks like in a parent/child relationship, since I am not a parent. But I might have one suggestion to start. Because my perspective and knowledge is significantly greater than my dog's, I need to be more understanding of her fear, recognizing her limited perspective. This is, I think, part of what it means to enter into the fear of another. With a child, one needs to work to remember (if possible) what it was like to be at that age, perhaps with those same fears. Put yourself in his or her shoes. It will go a long way toward understanding.

Some Turbulence May Occur

I just finished watching The Prince of Egypt, which is a 1998 animation of the story of Moses and the Exodus--the miraculous intervention of God to set the Jewish people free from their slavery in Egypt. Through the plagues, through the pillar of fire that stopped the Egyptian army while the people crossed the Red Sea, and the crossing of the Red Sea by splitting the waters in half, God's strength and power were evident.

As I watched the sea being split in the movie, I noticed there was a lot of fear in the faces of the people as they contemplated walking through the sea. No kidding! There are walls of water on both sides of you held up by One you can't see and you're just gonna trot on over to the other side with barely a thought?! You start to realize just how big God is! The disciples had the same experience when Jesus calmed the storm. Mark says that after Jesus calmed the storm, his disciples were "terrified" (4:41). The similarities and contrasts are interesting. In the Exodus, it took all night for the waters to be divided (Ex. 14:21); when Christ spoke, the storm stopped right then. In both stories, we see the power of God over water and wind, one visible, one invisible. In the former story, the people went through the water. In the latter, the disciples are in a boat on top of the water. Yet both feared death, the people of Israel from Pharaoh and his army, and the disciples from drowning. Moses was simply a representative of God, but Christ was the Word made flesh. In both, God controls the wind and water, one to blow strongly to separate, and the other to cease blowing to calm.

It can feel pretty rough and windy sometimes. Lately, it certainly has felt that way, as it seems like there is more terror, more partisanship, more division than in a while. It's easy to become disheartened and to feel hopeless. But God can use the wind or He can stop it. He can calm the storm or He can create one. He can still the waters or He can separate them. His call is still same: Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith? (Mark 4:40)