The Prodigal Son

Father, give my money to me
Inheritance as son to thee
For I can’t wait until you die
To distant lands with cash I fly.

Rebellious friends, enchanted foes
Exciting place, this land impose
What time have I with all of these
In carefree life, with total ease.

How dull, dreary, was life before
At home with Father, what a bore
My nights now late, my days so long
With each new day brings heightened throng.

The money flows, the friends crowd round
So popular, I’m to be found
Bartender give new friend a drink
Come join, this band, comp’ny I keep.

What’s this you say, my bank o’er drawn?
How can this be? My money gone!
Oh friends, may I borrow from thee
To pay the bar, my tab you see?

No cash to spare, have you for me
Where do all go, now friendless be
Outside I sit, where once I tread
And now next meal, I look in dread.

Farmer, oh help, or starve will I
I need a job, your pigs look dry.
Feed, water, care and in exchange
For bread and drink, to keep my name.

Now here I sit, in muddy ground
Filthy, covered, in pig slop mound
Only to eat, what’s left for swine
When formerly I used to dine.

At Father’s house, the slaves do eat
Better than I, this place my seat
Return will I, to beg for grace
Not as a son, but slave in place.

Far up ahead, my home I see
This speck now grows, what memories
Exhausted, sore, and hungry kept
My heart, in hope as quick I step.

Surprise the door flung open wide
Father, in tears, runs to my side
Embrace, my filthy body, he
New clothes, a ring, he puts on me.

Alas my son was lost but found
Prepare the calf, go trumpet sound
Rejoice alive and son shall be
Restored with love and grace is he.

Healing Issues, Part 2

In the previous post, I used the terms vertical and horizontal to separate two parts of the healing process that I wanted to discuss. I think better terms for the distinction would be two dimensions and three dimensions. The previous post was on what I said was horizontal, or better said, two dimensions, and in this one, I want to discuss the vertical, or a better term for it, three dimensions.

Think of a tear on a page. One can repair the page and the page is ready for use (the repair would still be evident). Likewise, it was previously stated that healing from different wounds that the heart takes allows us to live from more of our hearts, instead of avoiding or walling off certain areas.

Think of a book now. When one takes a knife and stabs a book, more than one page has been damaged, ripped, and torn. Likewise, with the heart, wounds don’t just affect one area or “page” in the heart. These wounds affect a great many areas. Perhaps our senses of identity, self, worth, love, belonging, independence, and others. Now our heart illustration looks something like this:

I want to comment on a couple of implications from the book/page illustration.

• Healing from a deep wound is not a simple or one-time process.
• Healing in the different areas of the heart will require different ‘fixes’.

Just as more than one page of a book needs repair, so too more than one area of the heart needs healing. However, unlike a book, where we can turn all the pages and see the damage to each page, the heart is much more complex and we are not able to see the impact all at once. We must be living in those areas in order for the impact to be evident. Take for example how much more “stuff” comes up when one is in a deeply committed relationship versus being single and unattached. It is because we are engaging more areas of the heart and some of those areas will have been damaged by wounds. What we thought we had “dealt with” is back; but it isn’t back because our healing previously was insufficient; it is because a multi-layered heart has multi-layered wounds. Healing is not simple because we are damaged in more than one area, and it is not one-time because we do not live from all areas at all times. Many times the areas of the heart that are damaged most are the ones used only when one is in a certain situation. Again, relationships are a great example. Sometimes the damage taken in a previous relationship may not come to the surface until the next one.

I cannot emphasize the importance of this truth in the healing process. We exclaim in frustration, “But I’ve already dealt with this!” and we move on and fail to understand the reality of that we are wounded in many layers and maybe this is a new layer we weren’t aware was damaged until now. You’ve found another damaged page! Don’t set an expectation on yourself that just because you’ve dealt with it now that there won’t be others areas where it might come up. The impact of a wound is impossible to fully understand and know because hearts are not visible, tangible items.

Different types of pages in a book will need to be repaired in different ways. Photo pages, text pages, pages with impressions, popup pages—each of these will require different repair techniques. Likewise, we will find that different areas of the heart need different healing steps and time needs. How I went about healing in one area may not work in another. The amount of time it takes in one area may not be the same time as another. It is important to give oneself understanding and flexibility as one walks through the healing processes that apply to the different areas of the heart.

It might feel discouraging to realize that wounds are not simple or easily fixable. Yet how much more is experienced by a three dimensional object versus a two? The pains are greater, but the joys even more so. Give yourself time, flexibility, and understanding in your healing process. Recognize that it is worth it, it will take time, probably come up more than once for a specific wound, and need different healing steps.

Healing Issues

This is a two-part topic on some implications on healing decisions that one will face in life. In this first part, I want to cover part of how the heart is impacted by different approaches we take after we experience deep pain in our lives, and in the second part, I’ll address the iterative cycle of healing. This first part deals more with a horizontal view of healing; the second will deal with more of a vertical view of it.

There are a few ways we can face significant emotional pain when it occurs in life. We can:

• Leave it alone (ignore it)
• Run away from it (avoid it)
• Walk through it (face it)

A wounded heart might be shown as follows:

Here is a visual of what the heart might look like long-term when wounds are ignored:

The main problem with ignoring wounds is that they remain and still have an effect on the life. The saying that “time heals all wounds” is flawed—time is a component in healing, but it takes much more than simply time. When one ignores wounds in the heart, one lives with a heart that is still very painful in places and thus it is difficult to live whole-hearted. Those places shown above in red are places one would be very careful about stepping on, because they would elicit very painful reactions as they are unhealed. Not only that, but such unhealed wounds can grow, and become much worse.

Here is what a wounded heart of an avoidant might look like:

One big issue with avoiding wounds is that we create regions in the heart that are “off limits”. You can’t go there, and neither can anyone else. The problem is that the more wounds one takes, the smaller the heart is that is free to love and to live. When we wall off regions of our hearts due to pain, we then live even more a partial-hearted life and can never experience freedom and life as I think is intended by God.

Here is what a heart that faces wounds and walks through them into healing might look like:

The scars a wound leaves will always remain, but unhealed throbbing that we tend to ignore or run from is no longer present. We are better able to live whole-hearted—damaged, but still with the whole heart. The scars might be tender, some wounds less healed than others, some larger than others, all still having some affect in our lives. But the active pain, the “electric fence” that is erected due to avoiding pain is no longer present, as we courageously walk into and walk through those painful places and experience healing.

What I want to emphasize in all of this is that while it is painful to walk into healing and to feel the effects of wounds, it is worth it in the long run. We are able to live whole-heartedly, instead of walling places of our heart off that are “off limits”, or avoiding painful places, or being caught off guard because untouched wounds still remain. It enables us to minister from the place of woundedness, as we have walked through the pain and healing of that pain, and thus can better empathize with others in their pain and wounds. And we can live in greater freedom, not in bondage to wounds, but with the awareness of their impact, the thankfulness for their healing, and the maturity from the wisdom learned.