Hebrews 12

Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance, and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. (Hebrews 12:1-2)

The cloud of witnesses the author references are the ones listed in the great hall of faith found in the previous chapter. In light of these, I am told to lay aside sin and run with endurance the race Christ set before me. I picture a runner taking everything off that could possibly slow him down so he might run the race well. Take off the backpack you are wearing. Remove the chain around your feet, the ropes that tie your feet together. It seems like what the author is saying is: Let it go! Let go of whatever it is that holds you back. Is it worth the price of your freedom to continue to hold on so tightly to it? This is one of the biggest lessons Christ has taught and is teaching me. I go back to the scene in Indiana Jones where Indiana is trying to reach for the cup of Christ, almost to his death. His dad tells him, "Indiana, let it go." This is what the author is saying. Let it go. Let go of the encumbrances and sin that entangle you. Let go of the things that hold you back from running the race well. I can run better, more freely, faster, and with less weariness when I lay aside those things.

What are some lessons from this passage? I want to consider at least four.

The first step to running the race Christ has before me is to consider those who have run it before me. Learn from their successes and failures. Look for those encumbrances and sin in my life that they too struggled with and held them back. This is a critical point. Sin likes to hide. It thrives in darkness and secrecy, even from the self. Looking at the lives of this cloud of witnesses will allow me to better see the potential pitfalls and danger zones. It will help me identify those things in my life that I need to let go. What made the great men of faith trip up? What areas of my life, especially as a man, do I need to be especially on guard against?

My response to sin, to these encumbrances, is what counts. David sinned sexually, Moses was angry and hit the rock, Abraham lied twice to Pharaoh about his wife. And yet one was a man after God's own heart, one was the meekest man to ever walk the earth, and one was the friend of God. It was not that these men of faith were sinless, but they were repentant. They let it go!

The second step to running the race well is to lay aside sin – this letting go process. In looking at the testimony of this cloud of witnesses, and the state of my own life, what are those encumbrances and sin that entangle me that I have identified? It is difficult to run the race with great burdens on my back. And yet I need to make sure that in my letting go that I am laying aside my encumbrances, not looking at what I think others should be doing. It is difficult to run a race when I am looking at what everyone else is doing. I am called to repent of my sin and lay aside my encumbrances.

The third step is to run this race with endurance. This is not a 50 yard dash, but a marathon of life. I am to run it with endurance, which means I don't start off at a full sprint, but pacing myself. The diligent practice of the spiritual disciplines, the patient pursuit of God, growing in intimacy with Him, day after day, will allow me to run the race with endurance. This is not to say that passion is bad. It is a wonderful thing. When I build a fire fast-burning items are needed to light the fire properly. But it is the logs, the slower burning objects, that provide the long-lasting heat and comfort the fire gives. The pursuit of God will place those logs on my fire so that it might endure.

And fourth, we run this race with our eyes fixed on Jesus Christ. It does no good to run the wrong race. The finish line is Christ. He is where I want to be (in the presence of God) and if I am running with Him in my sights, I am running in the right direction. And I am running with Him as my encouragement. I fix my eyes on Christ with an intense force. I am to glue my eyes on Christ. Don't look around at others, look at Christ.

One encouragement in this passage is found in the words "author and perfector of faith". The author of Hebrews is saying that Christ not only designed it, but He built it! He wrote and played the song. He wrote, directed, and produced the movie. He did it all! The race can be run with endurance because it is running towards one Who has completed it and laid it out for us. Why would He give us a race we could not run? In His strength, we can!

1. Identify
2. Repent
3. Endure
4. Focus

Financial Thoughts - Roth IRA

The Roth IRA. This is one of my favorite investment accounts to talk about. If you have known me for any length of time and we have ever discussed finance, I have probably asked you if you have a Roth. It is one of the best savings and retirement accounts you can have. So, let's begin with describing what it is.

A Roth IRA is a retirement account differs from a regular IRA in what amounts are taxed at what time. In a traditional IRA, you can deduct your contributions from your current year's income. In a Roth IRA, you must still claim the contributions as income. However, the traditional IRA is fully taxable when you begin to withdraw from it upon retirement. But all withdrawals from a Roth IRA upon retirement will not be taxed. This difference is enormous!

Let's work through an example. Right now the maximum amount you may contribute to an IRA (traditional or Roth) is $4,000 per year. So let's take that amount, with our standard safe 8% earnings rate, and assume a 30 year timeline. Let us also assume you are in the 20% marginal tax bracket while you work and after you retire.

With a traditional IRA, we would invest $4,000 per year for 30 years, and would get to deduct that from our income, saving ourselves $800 in taxes (20% tax rate times $4,000). However, at the end of the 30 year period, when we start to withdraw the money from the IRA, the entire amount is fully taxable. We would end up paying in excess of $90,000 in taxes, if we took the entire amount out at once (and even more if we did not).

With the Roth IRA, we would invest the same amount for the same period, but still be required to claim the $4,000 as part of our income. It would cost us over the course of the years around $24,000 in taxes. However, at the end of the 30 years, the entire amount in the Roth is tax free. This leaves us considerably more money to live on.

Another advantage of a Roth IRA is one that I highly recommend NOT using, but it is available. You may withdraw any amounts that you put in the Roth without penalty. You may not withdraw any of the interest it has earned. However, this is a very bad idea, because this will significantly reduce your earnings potential. But it is available if you need in emergencies.

Where does one open a Roth IRA? You may open one at any major investment house, such as Vanguard, T. Rowe. Price, Fidelity, TD Waterhouse, etc. Research the funds the company offers and the track record of those funds. Seek the help of a financial advisor if you aren't sure what to do. Happy Roth IRA saving!!

Financial Thoughts – Short Term Savings

Many financial advisors recommend having 3-6 months of expenses in savings in case of emergency. While the amount you want to keep in savings may vary, I highly recommend doing some research and opening a higher-interest savings account online than what you probably earn in your local bank. There are many e-savings accounts that offer greater than 4.5% interest right now. Just be careful to read the fine print. The one I have the most experience with is ING Direct, which is currently at 4.5% interest and allows up to six transfers per month between it and your checking account.

No matter what route you chose to go, it is important to maintain some amount of short term savings for emergencies. This can be built up over time and having the money in an account that earns a decent amount of interest is never a bad thing. And the e-savings accounts are FDIC insured so there is an extra level of protection. Since the money is going to sit around in case of emergencies, why not earn the maximum amount of interest you can?

One of the biggest indicators of a company's stability is it's cash flow. It is the same in personal finance. It is important to maintain a level of savings for emergencies so you don't run out of cash. Let me give you a very personal example of how I learned this lesson the hard way.

Two years ago I had set up my finances to where every dollar I earned was invested in something and regularly brought my savings/checking account balances very low. I was very careful to calculate exactly what I needed so as not to short myself in cash and managed it well. However, I was to receive a check for a partnership I was involved in at the time and so I moved some things around and as soon as the check came in, I fully invested it. The check was refused several days later; the investors asked us to hold for another month. All well and good, except my checking account was now negative. And rent was due in two days. I ended up borrowing money from a friend for a week while I moved things around again in order to cover the missing amounts. It ended up being a very good lesson to me about keeping some money in savings! And with the high interest rate savings accounts, you don't have to feel like your money isn't working for you.

I hope you take away two things from this post. First, keep some amount in liquid savings. And second, since it is best to keep some money in case of emergencies, maximize the earning power of that amount by having a high-interest savings account.

Infinitude

We studied God's Infinitude this last Sunday at the Point, and I have been thinking this week about what it means for God to be infinite. It is a difficult concept to grasp, and yet at the same time, the fact that we can even comprehend it tells us something. What I have been thinking about is heaven and how it relates to God being infinite.

What it means for God to be infinite is that in every attribute that He is, He is that attribute to its fullest expression. He is infinite love, infinite holiness, infinite grace, etc. Every attribute of God is without limit.

Have we considered that one reason that heaven will be for all eternity is because it will take us that long to get to know God? If God is infinite, then we can spend all eternity learning about Him and we will never come to the end of Him. He will always continue to amaze, surprise, and delight us. We will always discover more about Him. Heaven is heaven because God is there. What will fill us with wonder and delight is God Himself. He will be the ultimate treasure hunt that will last for all eternity!

I think we will be like children, delighted to hear the story of His redemption again, for each time we learn something deeper about Him. We will ask Him, as children often do, to "tell it again." And He will smile, pick us up, put us on His lap, and utter the words, "In the beginning…"

Jesus Wept

How tenderly Christ leads us into freedom. He is not a bulldozer that comes and rips down the walls of our cell in an instant. He comes into our cell, sits with us, and earns our trust. He empathizes with us in our weaknesses and fears.

The Scriptural example that comes to mind is in John 11 when Christ weeps at the sight of other people weeping over the passing of Lazarus. In this story, one of Christ's closest friends has passed away, and Christ has now entered the city four days after Lazarus' death. He has spoken with Martha and Mary, the brothers of Lazarus, and is surrounded by the crowd mourning the loss of Lazarus.

When Jesus therefore saw her weeping, and the Jews who came with her also weeping, He was deeply moved in spirit and was troubled, and said, "Where have you laid him?" They said to Him, "Lord, come and see." Jesus wept. (John 11:33-35).

Why did Christ weep, considering He had the power to raise him and did so following His tears? He did so because He went into the pain of the people surrounding Him. In verse 11:33 it says He was deeply moved in spirit and troubled at the sight of all the people weeping. He wasn't troubled because He didn't have the power to heal Lazarus. He was troubled because people were in pain. And so He went into their pain with them, mourned with them, and then raised Lazarus from the dead.

He does the same with healing in our lives. He has the power to change us. He has the power to make us whole. But He doesn't just dismiss our brokenness as – "Ok, let's fix this thing and move on." He mourns with us the hurt and loss. Here is a God who has the power to do anything, and He stops and weeps tears with us at our losses. There is something more to weeping than just the frustration of not being able to change something. There is something to weeping at the pain itself. Pain was never part of His design for us. And it hurts Him as it does us when we experience pain.

Invite Christ into the pain in your life. You will find Him gentle and tender as He enters the place you are at in your healing.

Hair Loss

About a year and a half ago I decided I wanted to do something about my hair loss (aside from using Rogaine, which didn't work well), so I made an appointment with Bosley, which is a hair transplant medical practice. It was a very interesting meeting with the two people I talked to, as they invoked several of the "influence" factors on me, such as reciprocity and consistency (referencing the Caldini Influence book). After discovering the tremendous amount of money I would need to spend not only up front, but for the rest of my life (taking pills, etc.), I decided against it.

The lesson I want to share with you is what I learned from this experience. Before, my hair loss was happening to me. After this meeting, my hair loss became my choice. It was so strange, but I no longer cared about losing my hair. I went home, shaved my head, and have been quite happy about it since. In fact, I tease myself all the time about it. Do you see the emphasis here? In my former state, it was something that I did not have any say over; in the latter, it became something I accepted and chose for my life.

Is there something in your life you are having a difficult time accepting? Is there a way to make it a matter of choice for you? You may find that doing so empowers you in a new way.

Financial Thoughts – Credit Cards (and other debt)

We all have them and probably have a love/hate relationship with them. A credit card can be a very useful tool, but it can also be a very destructive enemy. If you carry a balance on one or more cards, there is a recommended method to paying them off that will optimize the impact of your money. It is this: pay your credit cards off in order of highest to lowest interest rate, regardless of balance.

Let's say you have the following situation with 2 cards:

• $1,000 at 6%
• $2,000 at 12%

Now, the $1,000 amount would be faster to pay off. But it would actually cost you more! How so? Let's take this example, make an extreme payment of $1,000 per month, and see what the difference is for both options. Let's pretend the interest does not compound to make this simple, although normally it would, which will make the difference even more.

If we paid the $1,000 note off first, we will accrue $30 of interest from the second note across the 3 month period (assuming no compound interest). Note we pay the lower one off, thus not accruing any interest, while the larger card accrues $20 of interest. Then we pay two $1,000 payments across the next two months, dropping the interest, and then finish paying the $30 interest we have accrued the final month.

If we pay the second one off first (the higher interest rate), we will make two payments of $1,000, accruing $10 of interest on the larger note and $10.05 on the smaller one, and then we finish off with the remaining payments.

I want to emphasize that this is a very simple example that does not take compound interest in effect. But you can see that the difference is $9.95 in interest. With larger amounts, higher interest rates, and more credit cards, this amount saved could be significant.

The other thing about paying off credit cards, student loans, cars, etc. is to take into consideration how much you make in a high interest savings account. Usually student loans are lower than what you can earn in a savings account like ING Direct offers. Thus, it may not be the best option for you to pay off your student loans, unless there is a time limit or the interest rate is increasing. Likewise, if you have a no payments, no interest plan, it may be better to save the money and pay it off in one lump sum and earn interest in your savings account while you save it. This is practical only if you are financially disciplined enough not to spend that amount, which I am not really very good at either.

I encourage you to sit down and look at what you have outstanding to pay off and create a payment plan to maximize your money's effectiveness.

God and Change

On 01-08-2007, I wrote about change as it relates to God. I said that God does not change. I have been asked to clarify this and I also want to think on what I mean when I say God does not change. I base my statements in part from Malachi 3:5 where God says He does not change and James 1:17 where it says there is no variation or shifting shadow in the Father of lights. What is the Bible referring to when it says that God does not change?

I think the word "change" referenced here is talking about the core of one's being. I have said this a dozen times at least – the character of God does not change. This is what is referenced when God says He does not change. He is not fickle. He is not variable. He is constant.

Let me use an earthly example to illustrate this idea. Suppose a child asks his dad for a treat. Today, the dad says yes and gives his son what he asks for. Tomorrow, dad notices his son not feeling well, and when the son asks for a treat, he says no. Did the dad change? He did answer differently then he had before, but his answer (we hope) was still consistent with the love for his son. He saw his son not feeling well and determined that a treat would not be beneficial to him.

A great example of this in Scripture is found in Genesis 18:16-33. In this passage we find Abraham asking God to spare the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah if a certain number of righteous people are found. Abraham keeps asking God for a smaller number: will you destroy them if only 30 righteous people are found? What about 20? Abraham goes from 50 to 10 and each time God promises Abraham He will not destroy the cities if He finds that number of righteous people in those cities. Now, I ask: was the purpose of this to change God or to change Abraham? Was the point to see how far God would go, or how much Abraham would ask of God? Does Abraham believe God enough to keep asking? If God grants him a request to spare cities if 10 righteous people are found, then God can be trusted in His promise to give Abraham a son (which did happen in Genesis 21). "Abraham believed God and it was reckoned to him as righteousness" (Gal. 3:6).

What does James 4 say – "You have not because you ask not" (4:2). What kind of God do we believe in? James goes on to say we do not receive because we ask with wrong motives (4:3). God is concerned with the motives of our heart when we make requests of Him. Many times the seeming different answers we receive are because of the different places we are at in our lives. It is not God changing, but God changing us.

I believe in a God to gives good gifts to His children. I believe in seeking and asking Him for things, making requests of Him. I believe that through persistent prayer, change does happen. But who changes – the Giver of the gift or the receiver? If God is goodness and love without limit, then His gift to me will not make Him more loving. But it might make me love Him more. Or through the refusal of the request, it might teach me that what I need is more of Him and less of things.

Christ in a parable of a persistent woman and unrighteous judge (Luke 18) asks, "Will not God bring about justice to His elect, who cry to Him day and night?" (18:7). God does so in accordance with Himself. I can be certain that my requests to Him are always heard by one who is the same. If God says no, it isn't because He isn't in a loving mood today.

There is so much more to this than I have time to write here. It is true that persistent prayer has motivated God to act differently. But is that action coming from a true change in God or from one Who delights in His children and acts in accordance with His character? Maybe we don't ask enough or even at all? Maybe what God wants from us is our pursuit of Him. And when He knows that we are after Him, He bestows on us what we ask. In our pursuit of our request, we are changed.

I think we may find in heaven that the "changes" we thought we got God to make were really part of His plan and purpose to conform us to Himself. When I am in prayer before God, a little of Him might just "rub off" on me.

I hope this provides some clarification to what I mean when I say that God does not change.

Financial Thoughts – Employer Retirement Plans

In a previous post, I discussed several suggestions on how to maximize your savings and target your money so that it is used most efficiently. I want to focus a post on each of these suggestions individually, and today I will start with the employer retirement plans.

Many employers offer retirement plans, and of those, many offer matching amounts. What this means is that your employer will match a certain amount of what you put in to your retirement account. This is a tremendous advantage for you because it allows you to double your retirement savings up to the employer match amount. And, contributions to these retirement accounts are tax deductible. We throw that phrase around frequently, so I want to give a very practical example to illustrate what the real dollar impact would be.

Let's say that someone makes an annual salary of $35,000. According to the IRS tax schedules for 2006/2007, the estimated tax would be around $5,850 (before any deductions, just taking that gross number). If you were to save 5% of your income, the taxes that you owe would be reduced to $5,325, a $525 savings. Now, while you saved $1,750 in order to meet that savings (5% of $35,000), what this means practically is that you were only out of pocket $1,225 (which is about $100/month); the remaining amount was met through the money you saved in the taxes you owe ($1,225 contributed by you plus the $525 tax savings amount).

Now, if your employer matches up to 4% of your contributions, then there would be an additional $1,400 contributed to your account. This will result in a balance of $3,150 at the end of the year. The amount your employer contributed is not subject to tax (until retirement). Now, if we assume an 8% growth rate over a period of 30 years with a yearly investment of this amount (more than likely it will grow as your income increases), this account will grow to $356,842.12. This ended up costing you 30 payments of $1,225 (because of the tax savings), or only $36,750 over that period of 30 years. That is 10 times what you have put in! If one was to skip out on the employer matching by not investing in the employer retirement account (and investing separately), the $1,750 would only result in $198,245.62 at the end of 30 years (over $158,000 less!).

As shown above, the employer retirement account is usually not sufficient for retirement, but it can contribute to it. It is a great way to set aside some money for your retirement, have some or that entire amount matched by your employer, and receive a tax deduction for doing so. I would encourage you at a minimum to consider investing at least the amount your employer matches, if they do. I certainly don't want to turn down $158,000!

I am not familiar enough with the teacher retirement plans of Texas (or other states) to post any suggestions on those, but I suspect that there is some benefit to contributing something to those plans as well -- it would not surprise me if the state matched a certain contribution amount as well.

As always, if you are confused or need assistance, please see a financial advisor to discuss what is best for you. The suggestions I offer here are not backed by any certification or background in financial management; these are just things I have learned over the last few years of my own savings.

Values versus Preferences

My therapist had me go over "the List" with her this week and she brought up the concept of values versus preferences to categorize the list items. "The List" is that list of items we currently want/need in a member of the opposite sex. I say "currently" because in my experience that has changed as I have grown. What she said was that it is important that values are the same between two people; preferences on the other hand can be worked out.

Let me give an example of each. One of my "value" list items is a woman who is committed to Jesus Christ and is actively pursuing a relationship with Him. This is a value list item because Christ is so core to my life.

However, a preference list item might be "someone who enjoys reading together." This is (usually) not something that is fundamentally different between two people that shapes and forms the direction and thoughts of their life. And usually a preference difference can be worked out. In this example, perhaps the reader adjusts expectations of how frequently a book is read together, and the non-reader is a more open to reading together.

Let me give another example. I do not want to be with someone who is a regular smoker. At first glance, this could be a preference. But the preference is strong enough that it could be considered a value, and may be even more so if one considers the health implications involved. What is underneath this preference is a value in my life of maintaining good health habits.

So it helps to even dig deeper in the list and discover the “why” under each item – maybe underneath some of the seemingly innocent or even strong preferences are values. And still others may be truly preferences.

I thought this distinction was very helpful in evaluating items on “the list”. What do I truly value and what do I simply prefer? In other words, what are my “must haves” and why are my “would like to haves”?

Father, Forgive Them

"Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do," said Christ on the cross. This was in the midst of a crowd jeering at Him ("He saved others, let Him save Himself") and Him being in immeasurable pain. In the depth of that pain and in the shocking behavior of the crowd's hypocrisy and insensitivity, He still prayed for their forgiveness.

What strikes me about His statement ("they know not what they do") is that I would expect that the religious leaders of all people would know exactly what they were doing. And yet the words of Christ seem to suggest that they really did not know. It is possible to believe in something (the letter of the Law) so dogmatically that we completely miss the Person behind it (Jesus Christ).

One of my greatest struggles is in the area of judging others. This comes as natural to me as breathing. And yet here I see the Righteous Judge on the cross praying for forgiveness for the people who hated and mocked Him. My judgment of others is rebuked by this passage because I see that no matter how well I think I know someone, there is only one Who really does know, and His words are, "Father, forgive."

Several months ago I acted on my judgmental thoughts towards a friend and added another wound to my friend's heart in doing so. I was grateful to be forgiven and to have reconciliation in that friendship, but the reflection of myself I saw in the mirror of my action was quite unsettling to me. It was one of those wonderful and yet awful times where one truly realizes the condition of the self. Christ sets a radically different example in His words of forgiveness.

"Father, forgive them" means that Christ has discerned the thoughts and intentions of their hearts, He has seen their lives and the woundedness that they have experienced, and He knows everything about them. His words, "for they know not what they do," mean that He knows deep within they act out of fear, pride, blindness, ignorance, or woundedness.

I see the lives of my friends and sometimes when they take action I don't agree with, I tend towards jumping to judgment of them. "They should know better," I think (the "should" word striking again). Who says they should know better? Me? Have I lived their lives? Do I know their wounds? Have I experienced their pain? Do I know what they do and do not know? Who am I to judge their actions when I do not even know their heart? Have I considered my own actions in light of my knowledge of my own heart's condition? Have I acted any better? "You who preach that one should not steal, do you steal?" (Romans 2:21)

I realize that had I been at the cross some 2,000 years ago, I very likely would have joined with the crowd in sneering at Christ, "He saved others, let Him save Himself if He is the Christ." "Prove it," is what I would have demanded. And praise His name He did, for because He stayed on that cross and forgave me, He gave me salvation. The people expected the proof of Christ in His power to remove Himself from the cross, when it was His presence on that cross that was the demonstration of Who He was. It is "the kindness of God that leads you to repentance" (Romans 2:4).

What wounds have I acted from that have demonstrated inconsistent behavior in my actions and words? What ignorance did I act from not knowing that my definition of His salvation would have condemned me (for if He had come off the cross as they demanded, we would all be lost)? What blindness do I have in my heart from my ignorance, fear, wounds, or pride? Christ takes all of these things and more – all of my life into account – when He looks at me. And He speaks words of forgiveness and mercy.

Father, forgive me, for I know not what I do.

Hebrews 3

Hebrews 3:12-15 warns me to take care to not have an evil, unbelieving, hard heart. How does one guard against having a hard heart. I think this passage contains some practical suggestions on how to guard against this danger.

See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness. We have come to share in Christ if we hold firmly till the end the confidence we had at first. As has just been said:
"Today, if you hear his voice,
do not harden your hearts"

First, the passage says that it is sin that hardens my heart (3:13). Sin separates me from God and His love for me and others, and isolates me from fellowship. In repeated sin, I find I make excuses for it in order to justify my continued behavior: "Oh, that's just the way I am," or, "I can't help it." This is one sign of a beginning hardness. Guarding against sin in my life protected my heart. This is related to the next point.

Second, truth protects my heart (3:13 – encourage, to speak truth). Hardness of heart comes from believing and living a lie. In order to not be one of a hard heart, I must be honest with myself about sin. I must call a spade a spade. No excuses. No justification. No rational thinking to try to make the desired activity acceptable. It is really looking at each opportunity and action and asking God if that is what He wants for me and looking at sin for what it is. I find this is one of the more difficult struggles for me because honesty with myself at times is hard. Who am I trying to hide from? Me?

Third, I see the word encourage in 3:13 and I think this is a key to a soft heart. Looking at others and empathizing with them in their struggles reminds me of my own struggles. A softness of heart comes from realizing that I am not alone in my struggle and reaching outside of myself to help others in their struggle. I can encourage others by sharing with them that I too struggle with the same weaknesses and together we can come before God and unite in prayer and repentance. Not only am I speaking truth to myself, but I am speaking truth (hopefully in love) to others.

Fourth, softness of heart comes through being focused on Today and what I am to be about today (3:13). I have found that when I am faced with the long road of obedience I immediately think of giving up. I think it is too much, it is not doable, I can't make it, how is it possible? But that is not "today." What God calls me to do tomorrow He will tell me then, what He asks me to do now is for now. I do not mean to limit God to what He can or cannot say – for that would be silly. I simply mean that God wants me to obey Him now, His grace is sufficient now, and I am not to worry about how I will obey tomorrow or five years down the road.

Fifth, softness of heart comes through perseverance. We are to encourage one another "day after day" (3:13). It is not something to do for only one day. I am to encourage and speak truth every day. But I am to do so with "today" in mind. Let me obey today. Let me trust today. Let me believe today. Let me encourage today.

Sixth, it means I hear His voice. It says in 3:15 "Today if you hear His voice, do not harden your heart." To become one of a soft and obedient heart means to be one who hears God when He speaks and is obedient to Him in what He asks. And hearing God means being in relationship with Him.

And last (but not at all least or comprehensive), belief is required. We are told that some did not enter His rest because of unbelief (3:19). Do I believe that God's grace is sufficient? Belief will move me towards action – obedience. It is one thing to encourage and speak truth – and these are necessary to strengthen belief. But the real change of belief comes from action. It comes from acting on what I believe in.

How can I guard against a hard heart?

1. Guard against sin.
2. Speak truth to myself and allow His truth to pierce me (see also 4:12)
3. Encourage and receive encouragement from others (speak truth to others).
4. Be about obeying today.
5. Persevere.
6. Listen for His voice.
7. Act on my belief in God.

Why Indeed?

My brother sent me the following comic a while back that I have been thinking about for quite a while and this morning my thoughts finally came together enough for me to respond to it. Here is the comic:

The comic depicts God asking the question: “Why would I need to sacrifice Myself to Myself to allow Me to change a rule I made Myself.” It brings up a very good question. Why indeed? If I am to deepen my relationship with Him, such questions are great to surface and explore with Him. Why does God condemn us with His Law that is created by Him?

I think one answer lies in who God is – His character. The statement of the comic and even my question suggests that Law is something that God creates. But I do not believe this is so. The Law is a reflection of Who God is. He is the Word, He is the truth, He is the Alpha and Omega (the letters). When God makes statements of command, He does so out from Himself. When He says, “Thou shalt not lie,” it is not that He just created a new idea, concept, or fact. The statement is a reflection of Him. God is true and thus anything that is not true is not of Him. It is not “new” from God’s point of view because He has always been. It seems new to us because we see it from our point of view, being quite limited by time and location.

God’s Law is a revelation of Himself, and because of His eternality, it is not a new thing, because it does not reflect a new thing, but an eternal Being. This is why right and wrong existed before the written Law delivered through Moses. God existed before Moses, before Abraham (“before Abraham was, I AM”), before creation. He held Cain responsible for the murder of his brother before “thou shalt not kill” was ever written because it is part of Who He is. He is the creator of life, infinite love, and the one who numbered our days. Life is given and taken by Him. Cain knew his guilt without hearing any specific command because as an image-bearer of God, that imprint and knowledge was stamped on his heart. He never questioned God’s sentence for His sin, but rather asked Him for protection. He never made an excuse to God about “never being told that murder was wrong,” because he knew it was wrong!

So, in reference to this comic, God did not “make” the Law as He “makes” other things such as the earth or even you or me. The words of God are revelations of His character and for Him to “create” the Law, he would have to “create” Himself.

We are so accustomed to saying things after we arrive at a conclusion, “I have made up my mind now,” “I realized the other day,” “I no longer think this is true.” These are not words that God speaks unless He is relating to us on our level. “I have made up my mind” means that God has forever had this purpose and plan and has chosen to communicate it to us at the present moment. His “change of heart” we read is precisely planned and carried out by Him. He is not ever changing Himself, but acting in accordance with His character. If I pray and ask God for something and He gives it to me, it is not that He changed Himself – He acted from Himself. He sees my wants and needs, knows the appropriate timing, knows my design, where I am at in life, and gives gifts according to grace and love.

We are condemned by our sin against God. God is and when we choose to go against that reality, we are breaking ourselves by going against something immoveable. You’ve seen auto crash tests – when you drive the test car into the wall, the car is shattered; the wall is quite fine. If you drive into a brick wall, you will damage your car. The comic is simply angry that we jumped off a building and gravity took its course. There is no sense in trying to ridicule the wall for being hard or gravity for its pull downward. The ridicule lies on the driver and jumper.

We are forever blessed that He is gracious enough to give us Christ as the way of salvation. Praise His name!

Financial Thoughts

The year is quite young and I have wanted to write about some ways you can save your money in 2007. This is one of my favorite topics, although I tend to avoid writing about it. What is written here is opinion and suggestion only; please do not take it as the only way to do things, or even the best way of doing things. What I have done here is prioritize this list in the order of importance.

First, if your employer offers a retirement plan, make sure you have signed up for it and contribute at least the amount that they match. If it is a 401(k) plan and your employer matches contributions up to 4%, then it is smart to invest at least 4%. You can save more, but at a minimum contribute what your employer matches. You will also have the advantage (usually) of getting to reduce your taxable income by what you save towards that employer retirement plan, which will lower your taxes.

Second, focus on paying off any high-interest debt. This has a significant effect on how much you can save. What is high-interest debt? Any account that has an interest rate that exceeds the amount you can earn in your high-interest savings account (see below). In this example, focus on paying all credit accounts that exceed 4.5% interest. And start with the highest interest account first and work your way down. Make the minimum payments on the other accounts, and focus your maximum payment on the highest interest-bearing account. For credit accounts less than the 4.5% example rate (usually student loans and even short-term "no interest" accounts), simply make the minimum payment.

Third, open a high-interest savings account. You can earn at least 4.5% interest currently in many of the online accounts, such as ING Direct. This is a great place to keep short-term savings, such as emergency funds. It is recommended that you have between 3-6 months in expenses saved in case of emergency. While this amount might seem daunting, you can start by saving small amounts today.

Fourth, consider opening and investing in a Roth IRA. This retirement account type is one of the best savings tools today. A Roth IRA is an account in which all earnings and interest are tax free upon retirement. Invest as much as you can in this account, up to the yearly contribution limit ($4,000 in 2007). You can open a Roth IRA in a number of investment firms such as T. Rowe Price, Vanguard, or Fidelity.

Fifth, consider investing in the stock market. One mechanism for this is a drip, which is an investment account where you purchase a certain dollar amount of shares in a stock or mutual fund every month. This is an excellent way of investing small amounts that build up over the long term. And it is a good place to begin investing in the stock market without committing substantial amounts of money.

You can also consider opening a brokerage account to invest in the stock market. In the suggestion above (DRIPs) and in this one, make sure the account supports dividend reinvestment. This is one of the most important requirements in a brokerage account. When a stock pays a dividend, instead of depositing that amount into your account, it will just buy more of that stock for you. Over the long term, this can result in significant increases in your portfolio.

This list may seem overwhelming, but it is only a prioritization of where you can save money in order to maximize your finances. If you start with step 1 and 2, you will be doing great!

1. Contribute at least what your employer matches in your retirement account.
2. Pay off high-interest credit accounts, beginning with highest rate first.
3. Open high-interest savings account and build up at least 3-6 months in expenses.
4. Open and invest in a Roth IRA.
5. Invest in the stock market, through DRIPs (automatic monthly investments) or a brokerage account.

What I will do over the next few weeks is specifically post on each one of these list items in greater detail. As always, if you are in doubt of what to do, there are plenty of tools out there to answer your questions, and you can always consult with a financial advisor. The choice is yours. Begin saving today!

Father Forgets

I came across this in my reading this morning. It might bring a few tears to your eyes as it did mine. Enjoy...

Listen, son: I am saying this as you lie asleep, one little paw crumpled under your cheek and the blond curls stickily wet on your damp forehead. I have stolen into your room alone. Just a few minutes ago, as I sat reading my paper in the library, a stifling wave of remorse swept over me. Guiltily I came to your bedside.

There are the things I was thinking, son: I had been cross to you. I scolded you as you were dressing for school because you gave your face merely a dab with a towel. I took you to task for not cleaning your shoes. I called out angrily when you threw some of your things on the floor.

At breakfast I found fault, too. You spilled things. You gulped down your food. You put your elbows on the table. You spread butter too thick on your bread. And as you started off to play and I made for my train, you turned and waved a hand and called, "Goodbye, Daddy!" and I frowned, and said in reply, "Hold your shoulders back!"

Then it began all over again in the late afternoon. As I came up the road I spied you, down on your knees, playing marbles. There were holes in your stockings. I humiliated you before your boyfriends by marching you ahead of me to the house. Stockings were expensive - and if you had to buy them you would be more careful! Imagine that, son, from a father!

Do you remember, later, when I was reading in the library, how you came in timidly, with a sort of hurt look in your eyes? When I glanced up over my paper, impatient at the interruption, you hesitated at the door. "What is it you want" I snapped.

You said nothing, but ran across in one tempestuous plunge, and threw your arms around my neck and kissed me, and your small arms tightened with an affection that God had set blooming in your heart and which even neglect could not wither. And then you were gone, pattering up the stairs.

Well, son, it was shortly afterwards that my paper slipped from my hands and a terrible sickening fear came over me. What has habit been doing to me? The habit of finding fault, of reprimanding - this was my reward to you for being a boy. It was not that I did not love you; it was that I expected too much of youth. I was measuring you by the yardstick of my own years.

And there was so much that was good and fine and true in your character. The little heart of you was as big as the dawn itself over the wide hills. This was shown by your spontaneous impulse to rush in and kiss me good night. Nothing else matters tonight, son. I have come to your bed-side in the darkness, and I have knelt there, ashamed!

It is a feeble atonement; I know you would not understand these things if I told them to you during your waking hours. But tomorrow I will be a real daddy! I will chum with you, and suffer when you suffer, and laugh when you laugh. I will bite my tongue when impatient words come. I will keep saying as if it were a ritual: "He is nothing but a boy - a little boy!"

I am afraid I have visualized you as a man. Yet as I see you now, son, crumpled and weary in your cot, I see that you are still a baby. Yesterday you were in your mother's arms, your head on her shoulder. I have asked too much, too much.

- By W. Livingston Larned

Judgment

I was thinking about how we view or judge things in life and I realized that more frequently, we tend to judge things based on other’s implementation of the thing versus judging the thing based on what the thing claims itself to be. The word judgment here is not intended to be negative; I use it to refer to the opinion I hold, the view or attitude I have, towards a thing.

It is natural that my initial judgment of a thing is based on other’s implementation of it because usually that will be my first exposure to it (parents, friends, relatives, etc.). However, the mistake I often make is that I continue to keep my same judgment of that thing without really looking at it carefully to see what the thing says about itself.

Let me use Christianity as an example (and it is where this thought comes from). One’s first exposure to Christianity might be from parents or friends. And depending on how they practice it, one’s opinion could be positive or negative towards it. (My dad’s practice of Christianity is quite negative.) But does one stop there? (And in the past, I have stopped there.) If I see a bunch of Christians (or even a Christian) being hypocritical, do I dismiss the whole belief system as stupid? It certainly might be, but first, what does the thing say about itself? What does Christianity have to say about itself? Where do I find that? I must carefully go through a process of identifying the real source and definition of the thing and then learn what it really says about itself. In this example, I find what Christianity is in the Bible, not in a pastor’s sermon or in the implementation of its people (though it would be nice if both would match).

So, if I want to know what Christianity is, I need to look at Christ – what does He say about Himself? What does He do? What does He ask? Are those things different from the practice I see? If so, then the practice of the thing is flawed, the thing itself might not be flawed. When one sees a building under construction and thinks there is a flaw in it, where should one go? Check the architectural plans. Does the construction match the design? If not, it is hardly the fault of the architect!

The other concept that I forget frequently is that the practice of the thing is much harder than it looks and doesn’t make a whole lot of sense from the outside. And it won’t. I can look at a building under construction and think, “What the heck are they doing?” But unless I’m on the construction crew and participating in the building’s construction, it probably won’t. “Love God with all your heart” sounds great, but try “ruling the world” (to quote Princess Bride). It’s tough stuff! Let me close with a quote from C.S. Lewis:

“If you are worried about people on the outside [of Christianity], the most unreasonable thing you can do is to remain outside yourself. Christians are Christ’s body, the organism through which He works. Every addition to that body enables Him to do more. If you want to help those outside you must add your own little cell to the body of Christ who alone can help them. Cutting off a man’s fingers would be an odd way of getting him to do more work.” (Mere Christianity)

What is your faith in?

Let me start by saying I don't like the word faith, not because of the word or its meaning, but because it has been redefined and overused in the American culture and hardly means what it is intended to mean. So I will use words like "trust" and "belief" in addition to "faith".

One of the best books I have read on faith as it exists in Christianity is one called Velvet Elvis. It was also one of the most challenging and difficult books for me to read.

The author suggests that the Christian belief is more like a trampoline than a brick wall; it is flexible and can bend without breaking. He also said, and it was one of the statements that really hit me hard, that truth is truth regardless of where it is found. It was not hard because it did not make sense, but because while I think it is true, I have rarely lived it.

What this book moved me to a year ago was to look hard at exactly what my faith is in. In my days prior to coming back to Christ, I had posted quite adamantly that one must believe in the entire Bible as literal truth, or none of it. What a nice black and white statement coming from someone who at the time saw no gray. But that is the way I was raised. Please don't misunderstand that I am one of those who thinks God is a chicken because it says He has wings. I understand metaphor where it is used; but I believed (and primarily still do) that it is best to interpret it as literal unless it is clear otherwise.

What brings me back to this belief question is the start of a debate again discussing the age of the earth, something I have been quite firm about in the past. I have previously seen it as: either the earth is young or the Bible is a lie. What was my faith in?

I have spent a lot of time redefining what exactly I believe and what that belief and trust rests on. I have come to the following conclusion:

My faith rests completely on who Christ is and what He did.

What are the practical implications of this statement? It means that while I may enjoy a debate on the age of the earth, the size of the flood, or the meaning of a "day" in creation, my opinion or another's opinion is not crucial to my trust in Christ. If it were to be proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that the earth is truly millions of years old, or that a worldwide flood is impossible, it will not change my belief in Jesus Christ.

I spent so much time nitpicking as the smallest of details and I missed the greater truth. Is the point of the creation story that God made things in 24-hour days or that He created the world? Is the point of the flood that the world was covered completely by water, or that every living thing died except Noah and his family because of gross sin? Am I spending too much time being tossed in every wave of doctrine, or spending my time focusing on knowing Christ (see previous post on this subject)?

This may be very difficult to read and I understand that difficulty because I have spent a lot of time struggling with it. And this post, like all my others, represents my thoughts and opinions; it is something I hope you think through prayerfully and in the light of God's Word.

My belief rests on who Jesus Christ is, fully God, and what He did, coming in human form, dying and rising again, as reported in the Bible.

And so I leave you with the same question, what, or perhaps, who, is your faith in?

Some of my favorite movie quotes

Even the smallest person can change the course of the future.

All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.
Fellowship of the Ring

(Sam): By rights we shouldn't even be here. But we are. It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something.
(Frodo): What are we holding onto, Sam?
(Sam): That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo... and it's worth fighting for.
The Two Towers

I can't carry the ring for you... but I can carry you!
Return of the King

There are too many ideas and too many people. And too many directions to go. I was starting to believe that the reason it matters to care passionately about something, is that is whittles the world down to a more manageable size.
Adaptation

There is no normal life, there's just life, ya live it…say goodbye to me, go grab that spirited actress and make her your own. Take that and don't look back. Live every second, live right on through the end. Live Wyatt, live for me. Wyatt, if you were ever truly my friend, or if ya ever had just the slightest of feelin' for me, leave now, leave now, please.
Tombstone

I'm tired of the fantasy, because it doesn't really exist. And there are never really any surprises, and it never really... Delivers. And I'm tired of it. And I'm tired of everything else for that matter. But I don't ever seem to get tired of you…
High Fidelity

I am nothing special; of this I am sure. I am a common man with common thoughts, and I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten, but I've loved another with all my heart and soul, and to me, this has always been enough.
The Notebook

Why don't you love me, Jenny? I'm not a smart man, but I know what love is.
Forrest Gump

There are no guarantees, but remember: Even in the future, the sweet is never as sweet without the sour.
Vanilla Sky

You sharpen the human appetite to the point where it can split atoms with its desire; you build egos the size of cathedrals; fiber-optically connect the world to every eager impulse; grease even the dullest dreams with these dollar-green, gold-plated fantasies, until every human becomes an aspiring emperor, becomes his own God... and where can you go from there?
Devil’s Advocate

You make me want to be a better man.
As Good As It Gets

Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.
Princess Bride


So there's me an' Amy, and we're all inseparable, right? Just big time in love. And then about four months in, I ask about the ex-boyfriend. Dumb move, I know, but you know how it is - you don't really want to know, but you just have to... stupid guy [stuff]. Anyway she starts telling me all about him - how they dated for years, lived together, her mother likes me better, blah, blah, blah - and I'm okay. But then she tells me that a couple times, he brought other people to bed with them - ménage a tois, I believe it's called. Now this just blows my mind. I mean, I'm not used to that sort of thing, right? I was raised Catholic….So I get weirded out, and just start blasting her, right? This is the only way I can deal with it - by calling her a slut, and telling her that she was used - I mean, I'm out for blood I want to hurt her - because I don't know how to deal with what I'm feeling. And I'm like "What the [heck] is wrong with you?" and she's telling me that it was that time, in that place, and she didn't do anything wrong, so she's not gonna apologize. So I tell her it's over, and I walk…It was a mistake. I wasn't disgusted with her, I was afraid. At that moment, I felt small - like I'd lacked experience, like I'd never be on her level or never be enough for her or something. And what I didn't get was that she didn't care. She wasn't looking for that guy anymore. She was looking for me, for the Bob. But by the time I realized this, it was too late, you know. She'd moved on, and all I had to show for it was some foolish pride, which then gave way to regret. She was the girl, I know that now. But I pushed her away...
Chasing Amy

That's life. If nothing else, its life. It's real, and sometimes it hurts, but it's sort of all we have.
Garden State

(Answering why he likes Pinot) Uh, I don't know, I don't know. Um, it's a hard grape to grow, as you know. Right? It's uh, it's thin-skinned, temperamental, ripens early. It's, you know, it's not a survivor like Cabernet, which can just grow anywhere and uh, thrive even when it's neglected. No, Pinot needs constant care and attention. You know? And in fact it can only grow in these really specific, little, tucked away corners of the world. And, and only the most patient and nurturing of growers can do it, really. Only somebody who really takes the time to understand Pinot's potential can then coax it into its fullest expression. Then, I mean, oh its flavors, they're just the most haunting and brilliant and thrilling and subtle and... ancient on the planet.
Sideways

When some body hurts you they take power over you, if you don't forgive them then they keeps the power. Forgive him baby and after you forgive him, forgive yourself.
Diary of a Mad Black Woman

God and Emotions

I received a text this morning with the question "Does God have emotion?" What a great question! What a perfect way to begin my morning! I was totally excited about this question and I have been thinking about it all day, with great delight!

I have blogged very recently that emotions are neither good nor bad, and I closed that blog by stating that God has emotions (see Emotions, 12/15/2006). So yes, God does have emotion.

There is a tendency to think that emotions are bad, because we see the fruits of the negative ones, such as anger, jealousy, bitterness, and greed. But there is our first misconception. There is no such thing as a bad emotion. At least I hope not, for notice the following couple of verses that describe two of these negative emotions:

They made him [God] jealous with their foreign gods and angered him with their detestable idols. (Duet. 32:16)

Do not worship any other god, for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God. (Ex. 34:14)

What fills me with excitement (notice: excitement is an emotion I am feeling based on my reaction to this question) is that this reveals something great about the way we are created. You see, we are made in His image. We have emotions because He does. We feel because He does. If we were to be emotionless, we would not be made in His image.

Emotions add the variety to life. Without them we would all respond the same way to every situation. It is our emotions that allow us to be different: when it rains, some may feel depressed, and others happy. It is the interpretation of the events that generate the emotion. Emotions help give us uniqueness.

So how does God emote? I am so excited about the upcoming Point study on the attributes of God, and the first attribute I believe answers the question: infinitude. This word means "all that God is He is without limit or measure." When God feels, He feels completely, because He is complete! When God loves, He loves completely! When God is angry, it is infinite anger (not in time, but in quantity). Is it any wonder that unbelievers will be paralyzed in fear before God on judgment day?

This is so awesome for me to think about! How boring life would be to serve a God without emotions? His emotions add such variety and color to life! And yet, God's emotions, unlike ours, never rule Him. God is in completely control of Himself. This is accomplished because God is fully Himself in all things. He is completely Love, Holy, Righteous, Just, Mercy, and Truth (to name a few). It is not that one rules the other. He is all things, completely. Hard to imagine, and yet oh, what a great thought!

Ideal versus Practical -- Initial Thoughts

When I took a class on The Purpose Driven Life at church back in the summer of last year, I was given a personality test called Servants by Design and scored 100% in two of the categories, one of them being the Dreamer category. At first I found this surprising, but I quickly realized that it was true. The discovery helped me learn more about myself, but I have still wondered about how to integrate my “dreamer” with the reality of life. This post by no means answers this question, but contains some of my thoughts on the subject.

I find it interesting that Paul, when writing about love, specifically states the following:

When I was a child, I used to speak as a child, think as a child, reason as a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things (1 Cor. 13:11).

I suspect that dreaming comes from at least three places, the first from our childhood, the second from living as fallen individuals in an imperfect world that was designed for perfection, and the third from being human. The first is from woundedness, the second from fallenness, and the third from humanness. The first can be healed, for Christ is a Healer, the second can’t be changed but can be improved by growing in a deeper relationship with Him, and the third is a gift from Him as one made in His image, creative and full of life.

I have spoken quite a bit here about wounds and healing and will do so more in the future, so while I may touch on it briefly here, I do not want to go in depth. And as the verse above suggests, a deeper love results from and creates a deeper maturity in a person.

What I found is that my dreams detract from me living a more full life, because I am continuously disappointed by what I expect or wish for and what actually happens or is! And so in order to more fully integrate myself with what is, I ask myself what we all ask which is, is this realistic? And I find I end up asking myself this quite a bit! But I go further…

I think it is silly to dismiss a dream simply because it is unrealistic. Why do I desire it in the first place? Is this desire covering up another desire? (see earlier post titled The Inner Desire) What is underneath this desire? What is it that I want that this is revealing to me?

Let me give an example, that while I am both embarrassed and laughing at myself, it may help illustrate this. Suppose I envision in some romantic fantasy that a girl will show up at my doorstep with flowers and be Mrs. Right for me. This is funny to even write. The Parent “ego” might say “That is completely ridiculous” and it is very much unrealistic. But it is not something to completely dismiss. What does it reveal? A desire to be with someone. And is this desire bad? No, in fact, it is by design! So, I can then channel the unrealistic fantasy into a more realistic one – by thanking my Creator for giving me these desires and searching His Word to discover what I am to do and be before Him. Perhaps, in fact, quite likely, He wants the situation to be reversed!! Although the concept of Mr. or Mrs. Right is, I do not think, realistic either.

The primary point I want to illustrate here is that dismissing dreams or fantasies without carefully investigating their source will only feed them more. Somewhere, a real desire is speaking and needs to be heard. When we give ourselves the ear we need, we may find that we are more fully human and accepting of ourselves. And in the process of discovering the real desire, we may be able to begin positive steps towards fulfilling it!

Now, on a practical note, this sucks! Why? Because I have gotten good at either denying or covering up my desires and by acknowledging and searching for the truth, I am opening myself up to being more real. And, because I am such a dreamer, I am finding just how much I dream and end up steering myself towards a deeper reality. I say “this sucks” because it is hard work.

Powell states that change begins when we discover ourselves to be a certain way (the “aha” moment of truth). Because at that moment, we either choose to remain that way (and that in itself is different than before) or we start to exchange our immature habits for more mature ones. And much of that is speaking truth to myself. Does not the truth set us free? And love rejoices in the truth!

Christianity

One of the hardest things we face as adults is to separate the implementation or belief in an idea by our parents (and thus, what we are taught as children) and what is really true about the idea. I struggled greatly several years ago with facing my dad's version of Christianity that I grew up with. I became quite sick of myself, sick of what it "required" me to say, do, and be. And so I decided that Christianity was incorrect and that I would not have a relationship with God, for I thought that God was like my dad. I rationalized this decision by emphasizing to myself that He was really an unknown, so how could we be sure of Him anyway?

The Father, in His mercy, had other plans for me, for I don't think He particularly cares for us to continue to walk with incorrect ideas and views of Him. It is one thing to reject God after seeing Who He is (simple rebellion), it is quite another to reject Him because one is misinformed of His character.

After reading The Curate's Awakening by MacDonald in July of last year, I began reading through the gospels with this question: Who is Christ and Who does He reveal the Father to be? Here is the quote from MacDonald that really ignited this in my heart:

"If by [the intellect] we could prove there is a God, it would be of small avail indeed. We must see Him and know Him. And I know of no other way of knowing that there is a God but that which reveals what He is -- and that way is Jesus Christ... Your business... is to acquaint yourself with the man Jesus: he will be to you the one to reveal the Father. Take your New Testament as if you had never seen it before, and read to find out." (The Curate's Awakening, Chapter 6)

What I have found in my reading is that the things about God that I hated are usually the things that He hates too! And the things about God that I longed for were the things that He is. Let me give you another MacDonald quote, my favorite of his:

"In my own childhood and boyhood my father was the refuge from all the ills of life, even sharp pain itself. Therefore, I say to the son or daughter who has no pleasure in the name Father, "You must interpret the word by all that you have missed in life. All that human tenderness can give or desire in the nearness and readiness of love, all and infinitely more must be true of the perfect Father -- of the maker of fatherhood." (The Heart of George MacDonald, as quoted in Wild at Heart)

What I want to emphasize this morning is that much of my struggle with God has been a marred painting of Who He is. It is as if my dad took a Rembrandt, threw paint and dirt all over it and then handed it to me and said, "This is a Rembrandt."

Much of this is captured in my testimony that is posted here (back on March 25th of this year). I emphasize this part because it is essential to take the things we believe and yet struggle greatly with, and look at them carefully, and ask ourselves -- is this true? Do I believe this because it is reality or because it is what I have been taught? And in relation to God, we find the painting of Him by looking at Christ.

"He who has seen me has seen the Father," Christ said in John 14:9. I begin today to share with you what I have learned about Christ by asking you to reflect on the following word that is so descriptive of Him: tender.

Emotions

I want to share something that has been a huge awakening in my life in the last few months. It is something that I have briefly touched on previously regarding emotions, and comes from a few books I have read, one referenced before by John Powell.

Emotions are neither good nor bad. They indicate the satisfaction of wants and needs.

Dwell on that statement for a minute. Let it sink in.

Emotions are similar to a stop light. The color of the stop light is neither good nor bad. The "legality" of your action is what you do in response to the stop light's color. Driving through a red light is not a good idea! The stop light is a sign that indicates the flow of traffic and what is needed in order to conform with the flow. You can chose to pay attention to the color, or ignore it, in which case you are a danger to other drivers, and can cause an accident.

My action based on my emotion is what is positive or negative.

I am reading a book called Becoming Real which is similar in concept to some of the ideas Eldrege shares in his Wild at Heart book. The idea is that we create stories that rationalize the events that happen in our childhood in order to make sense of those events without villainizing the perpetrators of those events because we need those people. What I mean is that a child will rarely have the mental competence to think, "The action my parent just took right now was a bad choice on the part of my parent." Usually, the child will think there is something wrong with him/herself.

How does this relate to me? My dad was very vocal in his anger growing up. I can say now as an adult that his anger was completely inappropriate and wrong. But as a child, I created a story or an idea that anger was wrong! I should not feel or be angry! This is completely unrealistic, and yet I have been operating from this belief or story for quite some time, much to my own frustration. So let's take the above concept and apply it to anger, a commonly misinterpreted "wrong" emotion.

Anger is neither good nor bad. It is an indicator that my wants and needs are either satisfied or not. What want or need is being frustrated or blocked? Am I afraid (many times anger's root is fear)? What am I afraid of? Why am I afraid? What need or want is my fear covering? In this example, my dad's anger (I think) was because of fear, and the fear underneath was due to an (irrational) want/need to predict and control the future. The control concept is one of my "learned behaviors" I have been and am working on "unlearning". But that is a post for another day.

What I want to emphasize here is that instead of dismissing an emotion as silly - "I should not feel this way" - I begin a process of investigating the source of the emotion and turn it into a positive expression for my life. This may be very obvious to you, but I missed this part of training as a child. :) Do they teach this in school?

One final thought. The Bible describes God has feeling a wide range of emotions. Anger is a common emotion that He feels ("the anger of the Lord"...). Jealousy, hatred, love, tenderness, and many others are all over His Word.

To sum up what I have been saying:

1. Accurately identify the emotion
2. Identify the want or need the emotion is "speaking" from.
3. Identify if the want or need is realistic and practical (if not, is there a want or need underneath this one? See my earlier post on The Inner Desire).
4. Determine positive action steps to meet the want or need in a way that does not infringe on others wants and needs (future post on this one!).
5. Wash, rinse, repeat.

The Ideal versus Practical Dilemma

I have a question to pose, that I will soon think through here, but I want to get the wheels turning for those of you out there who read these things. It is the following:

How does one harmonize the ideal (the desire) versus the practical (the reality)?

Huh?

Put another way, how do I make peace between the fantasies of my mind and the reality of life?

Transactional Analysis

I finished reading a book recently with a rather unusual title called, "Why am I afraid to tell you who I am?" by John Powell. This was the first book I read by this author and he has quickly moved into my favorite authors list. It is an incredible book filled with great insight. I want to share something that he discusses that is actually in reference to another book called Games People Play regarding transactional analysis.

Most (I say most instead of all) people have three "voices" inside of them (called "ego states"). These are: the Parent, the Child, and the Adult. These ego states are constantly speaking to one another and determining how one feels and what one does. The Parent is the voice of your parent(s) from childhood. The Child is the one in you that is your childhood, the one that is seeking direction, and isn't sure of what to do. The Adult is the grown up (one hopes) of the Child. So what's the big deal? It is this, and this is awesome to see:

When I make a decision, the voices of the Parent and Child can conflict. Let me give you an example. Let's say that I am uncomfortable going to an event I have been invited too. The Child is the one uncomfortable. He is at an uncertain and fearful place. The Parent voice might say, "Quit being a wimp and go. Stop being afraid. It is bad to be afraid." This is where the critical role of the Adult voice comes in. Does the Adult validate the feelings of the Child and step in to defend the Child, or does the Adult simply step aside and let the Adult voice berate the Child for his feelings? In essense, do I speak up in my own defense!?!

This does not mean that I go with the wishes of the Child. I may mean that I speak to the voice of the Parent, invalidate that voice, and then gently speak to the Child voice and reassure him that it will be ok. It is the recognition that I am my own person, my own Adult now, and I can now create a new Parent voice -- the Adult voice -- in my own life that determines my path and listens to my feelings (the Child) as he gives feedback to my wants and needs.

I have found this concept incredibly helpful in the road my road to healing. When I come across situations where I am feeling lost and sense the voice of the Parent stepping in and being critical, I stop and step in with my Adult voice to shut the Parent up, and give the Child the ear and tenderness that he needs.

I haven't done the best job describing this process, so it may seems like "I hear voices". In truth, we do! What matters is not IF we hear voices, but what we do in response to those voices. Will I listen to the "voice of truth", as sung by Casting Crowns, the voice of Christ, the voice of the Adult who has chosen to follow Christ, or will I listen to the voice of condemnation, the voice of perhaps the Parent, or of Satan?

What voice do you listen too?

A lesson in weight

Last week I was watching Father of the Bride II with a friend. In this movie, both the man’s wife and daughter are pregnant. There was a passing comment made by Steve Martin in the movie about the weight of these two women being around 130 pounds when they were over 8 months pregnant.

Let me just say (in complete agreement with my friend who also said it was absurd) that such a number is completely ridiculous. Consider these facts:

• Diane Keaton is 5 feet, 8 inches. (average normal weight is 126-150 pounds)
• Kimberly Williams is 5 feet, 6 inches. (average normal weight is 120-144 pounds)
• The average weight gain of a woman during pregnancy is around 24-35 pounds

At a bare minimum, the estimate given by the movie was at least 20% too low. Why do I nitpick as such a comment? It is this: be careful what you believe from watching a TV show or movie. In fact, it never hurts to verify anything you hear. What I quoted above was only five minutes of research on the web. And you are welcome to check my figures.

Ultimately, what I wonder is how many people accept such a figure as either true or partially true, and in doing so, contribute to their own personal guilt over weight or something else in their life. The images and figures we see on TV are just that – images. They are covered in makeup and made to appear much better than they are. It is unrealistic to compare oneself in any way to any TV or movie personality. In this example, the figure is a complete distortion of reality and adds nothing to its viewers except a completely unrealistic standard no one can or should attain.

Ephesians 4

Sunday we studied Ephesians 4:1-16 at The Point. As I was walking through the mall the day before, I had a little window of the soul into the passage, specifically verse 14. Before I describe it, let me begin with part of the passage:

Walk…with all humility and gentleness… preserving the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace…to each of us grace was given….for the equipping of the saints…until we attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God. (paraphrase of 4:1-13) As a result, we are no longer to be children, tossed here and there by waves, and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, by craftiness in deceitful scheming… (4:14)

Paul's emphasis here is that as the body of Christ, we are to reflect the character and person of God by being united. The Trinity exists in perfect unity and harmony, and what Paul requests is ultimately for us to follow the example God that is. He specifically notes we are to be united, calls attention to the various ways we can contribute to Christ's body through the gifts He gives each of us, and brings the thought to its conclusion which is Christian maturity that leads to a deeper knowledge of Jesus Christ (4:13).

Now for my window: At the mall, a company had set up a projector in the roof that beamed down images of cell phones onto a large white mat on the mall floor. Children were playing on this mat, and were chasing the images of the cell phones that moved around. The phones were quite colorful and intended for the younger audience, and the children were having a great time. The initial thought that came to mind as I passed by was: "that is cute." And it is. I reached for my cell phone to check the time and the window opened:

The children are chasing images of cell phones while I have the real thing.

Isn't this what Paul is encouraging us to do in this passage? What he wants us to remember is that we know the real God – what is the point in spending time chasing "every wind of doctrine"? Does this add to the unity of the body, the fellowship of the Spirit, the love of others? Do these winds "blow" me towards knowing the real, risen Lord, or distract me from Him? What matters is knowing Christ. What is of utmost importance is the Person of Jesus, not the doctrine of Christ.

Please do not think I am suggesting that all doctrine is unimportant. What I am suggesting is: how does this, whatever "this" is, help me know the Man, the Person, the God, Jesus Christ? And if it does not, it is worth considering what direction the wind is blowing.