Genesis, Faith, and Blessing

I have been reading Creation and Blessing by Allen Ross, which is his commentary on the book of Genesis. I am about halfway through the book and what has been noteworthy to me is the emphasis on blessing and faith through the book (and I am roughly at Gen 25). I wrote a paper several years ago for a seminary class on faith in Genesis and recall that being a major theme. God is a "blessing" God--He wants to bless and He does so in abundance and without us deserving His blessing.

One of the mantras coming out of seminary is "context, context, context" for understanding a passage or book. Genesis is written by Moses (no JEDP) to the generation that is about to enter the promised land under Joshua. Genesis is giving the people of Israel their founding stories, what God has promised that He is in the process of fulfilling through them, repeated pictures of what imperfect faith looks like, and how God faithfully took care of those He has promised to bless. "Is God with us?" asks this generation. Look at Noah, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph--yes! "What kind of difficulty can I expect?" Opposition, war, famine, barrenness, delay--but this does not stop God from fulfilling His promises! "What does faith look like?" Walking into the unknown trusting that God will provide, especially when you know that where you are walking is directly part of His fulfillment of promise! "Is perfect faith required of me?" No, these Genesis stories recount men and women of imperfect faith, but also a God who is a perfectly faithful God. The blessing is based on God's covenant promise, not their (or our) faithfulness.

This is good news for us. We must learn to walk by faith and Scripture provides us imperfect examples to encourage our walk. God is perfectly faithful and stands by His covenant, provided to us in Jesus.

A righteousness not of my own

One of my favorite passages of Scripture is in Philippians 3:1-16, especially verses 7-14, which I have written about before. It was on my mind because last night a friend seemed to suggest that lately his sinfulness has been weighing on him. For me, Romans 8:1 (no condemnation) and this passage have been helpful to meditate on and go over frequently.

Paul begins the passage (4-6) recounting some of the things that are to his credit, that is, the best that he has to offer--and it is impressive. Paul was a 'super-hero' of Judaism. A brilliant mind. Non-stop energy and focus.

But the very best that Paul has to offer are counted as loss for the sake of the Messiah (7). Paul counts his very best as loss, and all things, his best and worst, as rubbish, in view of the surpassing value of knowing Jesus the Messiah as His Lord (8). The rays from a simple light bulb are nothing when exposed to the light of the sun.

My favorite part of this passage is found in verse 9: that I may be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own. What righteousness, then, would I be found with? A righteousness which comes from God on the basis of the faithfulness [of the Messiah]. This is an oft-repeated verse for me. I do not have a righteousness of my own, but that which is through the faithfulness of Jesus the Messiah.

Recall that Paul, in Ephesians, makes righteousness our breastplate in the armor of God (Eph. 6:14). In the Jewish thought, the seat of your emotions is your "gut"--and it is the breastplate that protects that area. This righteousness that is on the basis of the Messiah's faithfulness is that which protects my heart and my emotions from the darts of the enemy.

When a flaming dart comes flying in with a sharp accusation that "you are a no-good, dirty-rotten, wicked filthy awful human being," I can reply, "Yep, and I am in Jesus, not having a righteousness of my own, but that which is given to me because of His faithfulness." In other words, the magnitude of my wickedness is no barrier to receiving His righteousness--because it is given on the basis of His faithfulness. HIS faithfulness. Not mine. The flaming darts that attempt to wound or destroy me are met with, and blocked by, His righteousness.

There is one qualification to be saved: God only saves sinners. And you're in luck--you qualify! And only one way of salvation--through the faithfulness of Jesus. And it is because of His faithfulness that you are made righteous. That makes all the difference, not only on that day, but today. Embrace this righteousness that is not your own. And thank Him for it.

Hebrews 10 Warning

Hebrews is the most tightly argued book in the New Testament and its warning passages (2:1-4; 4:1-2; 6:4-6; 10:26-31; 12:25-29) are terrifying to read, even when the context is understood. How much more terrifying are they when the context is removed and they are applied to other contexts! One of the harshest warnings is found in 10:26-31 and it cannot be understood without carefully understanding the context.

Hebrews has just finished his magnificent exposition on the greater priesthood of Jesus Christ, begun back in 5:1 and concluded in 10:18, with the expected actions one must take as a result of these truths in 10:19-25. He "breaks" into his exposition in 5:11-6:20 in order to grab his listener's attention in preparation for the long and difficult word (5:11). This word, found in 7:1-10:18, is bracketed by the warnings of 6:4-6 and 10:26-32. It is the latter warning that I want to focus, and in particular, the "willful sin" that is referenced in 10:26:

"For if we go on sinning willfully after receiving the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sin, but a terrifying expectation of judgment..." (10:26-27a NASB 1995)

On the surface, this has been taken to mean continuing, willful sin as a Christian means loss of salvation. Isn't that what it says? This is where context is so critical. What is the willful sin that Hebrews is referring to? Is it any continuing sin that a believer commits? We must understand the "no sacrifice" statement first.

The phrase "there no longer remains a sacrifice for sin" in 10:26 is the same phrase that occurs in 10:18, which is the final statement of his long exposition. In short, Hebrews concludes that because the sacrifice of Christ has once and for all taken away sin, there is no longer any sacrifice for sin. This is because Christ's sacrifice is the only sacrifice and it is completed! There isn't and can never be another one. This is key to understanding this passage. The only acceptable sacrifice for my sin is Christ and it has already been accomplished.

In light of this, what does Hebrews exhort his listeners to do in 10:19-25? Draw near, hold fast, and encourage one another (10:22-24). Now for the sin. What is the concern in his book? Is it sin in general or is the entire tone of the book a concern that his listeners are considering abandoning their Christian faith due to persecution (see 10:32-36)? I think it is a fair statement to make that almost all scholars agree that Hebrews is focused on apostasy as the sin he is concerned with in his listeners. Again, context is critical. The sin in Hebrews is that of abandoning Christ, rejecting his sacrifice, and (for the listeners), returning to Judaism for salvation.

Here is the problem. If the sacrifice of Christ is the only one and therefore there is no longer any sacrifice for sin, then to leave Christ is to leave the only sacrifice! To abandon Christ means to abandon salvation. To refuse to draw near, to refuse to hold fast, to refuse to participate in community (encourage one another) is to refuse the only available means of salvation that God offers. Christ's death has forever changed how we come to God, because the veil, His flesh, has been torn so that we might have direct access to God through Him! There is no access to God except through Him. If you abandon Christ, you can't get to God!

One final observation from earlier in Hebrews: the wilderness generation of Exodus-Numbers is used as the negative example of what not to emulate in 3:7-4:13 and possibly implied in the 6:4-6 warning. The wilderness generation witnessed the ten plagues in Egypt (Ex. 7-12), crossed the Red Sea on dry land, saw God kill the entire Egyptian army (Ex. 14), ate manna from heaven every day in the wilderness and received water from multiple rocks (Ex. 16-17)), along with numerous other miracles. Yet, with their mouths full of food from heaven, they rejected the command of God to take the promised land, and as a result, were judged and died in the wilderness (Num. 13-14). For the Christian, the 'promised land' is the salvation found in Christ, and we are urged to hold fast and draw near--not to abandon or become weak in faith. Is it any surprise the very next passage in Hebrews following his long exposition and harsh warning in chapter 10 is his famous hall of faith in chapter 11? This is what he wants to inspire in his listeners! Be like these great examples of faith and draw near to Jesus! Don't abandon Christ, because He is the only all-sufficient once-for-all sacrifice for sin.

Remember the Faithfulness of God

I woke at 4 am this morning with the word remember on my mind and reflected on it for a while before falling back asleep. It is frequently emphasized in Scripture, both explicitly and implicitly--indeed, much of Scripture is written to remind the readers of what God has done in the past. My memory of God's faithfulness to me in my past, your memory of His faithfulness to you in your past, and our reflection on His faithfulness to many, is essential in our present time.

I recently discussed four lessons from Habakkuk, the first suggesting that in times of trouble, I must remember the faithfulness and power of God that He has demonstrated in the past. I must remember because I am so prone to forget. The wind and the waves quickly distract me and pull my eyes off Jesus (remember Peter, Matt. 14:30?).

This year my small group is doing an in-depth study of the book of Hebrews. Hebrews is a book that ultimately points its readers to a greater life of faith as they too wait in dread for certain suffering (which has been experienced by them before; 10:32-39; 12:4-13). The great "hall of faith" chapter 11, which runs through 12:2, is one great remembrance passage. Remember what God has done in the lives of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Moses... Look at, and emulate, their faith. Remember their walk--sometimes with what we might define as success, but sometimes with death, yet always focused on what was promised, because God is faithful. It is impossible for Him to lie (6:18)! And Hebrews reminds the readers of the preeminent unfaithful example of all, the wilderness generation of Exodus and Numbers (Heb. 3:7-4:13; 6:4-6; 12:18-21). This was the generation that saw first-hand the ten plagues on Egypt (Ex. 7-11), crossed the Red Sea and saw the Egyptian army drowned (Ex. 14), was daily fed by manna in the morning and quail in the evening (Ex. 16), provided fresh water from rocks (Ex. 17), saw the presence of God on Mount Sinai (Ex. 19), and the repeated evidence of both His presence and judgment through miraculous signs and wonders (Deut. 4:32-40; and Hebrews will use a similar point in 2:1-4 for his readers). Yet, when it came time for that generation to enter the promised land, they rebelled and trembled in fear because the cities and people were large (Num. 13:25-29; 14:1-4). It was barely 18 months ago that you walked on dry land in the middle of the sea with a wall of water on your left and right, being chased by an entire Egyptian army, who then promptly drowned when God closed the water over them after you finished crossing--and yet you are afraid of some cities and big people?! You complain as your mouth is full of manna provided this morning from heaven, washed down by fresh water that came out of a rock!

I ought not to be too hard on them, for I am more similar to them than I care to admit. This is why remembering is so important. This is why God instituted for them regular, embodied practices and celebrations, practiced in the community, to help them remember. This is why regular, embodied practices with the people of God are so critical to life in Christ. When I take communion, eating the bread that symbolizes the body of Christ, I remember that He came in the flesh, dwelt among us, took on all that it meant to be human, yet without sin (John 1:14). When I drink the grape juice (or wine, depending on your tradition), I remember that His physical blood was shed for my sin, He became sin on my behalf so that I might receive His righteousness (2 Cor. 5:12). Indeed, even the very words instituting this practice suggest its purpose: "do this in remembrance of me." (Luke 22:19) The daily (!) gathering is used by Hebrews in the middle of his discussion on the wilderness generation, for the express purpose of encouraging one another so they would not be like that faithless generation (4:12-13). And how does he encourage his readers? By demonstrating that Christ is superior and sufficient (Son, High Priest, Sacrifice, Example, Author, Completer), and by reminding them of His faithfulness to them and others in the past.

I will again quote my favorite professor: "What God has done in the past is a model and a promise of what he will do in the future, but He's too creative to do the same thing the same way twice."

My challenge for you today is to take a few moments and remember--what has He done for you in the past, where have you seen His faithfulness in your life, perhaps in the lives of those near you, and write it down? Thank Him (Ps. 89). Rejoice in His faithfulness to you (Lam. 3:23). Share that with someone. Be an encouragement to another (Heb. 4:12-13; 10:19-25). Our God hasn't changed. He is the same (Heb. 1:12; 13:8)! He will be faithful in our present time, in the suffering, as the lesson in Habakkuk reminds us, for He is bringing us into greater depths of sonship--likeness to Christ--through these circumstances.

Exhortation to trust (Psalm 115)

Psalm 115 is one that praises God for the reality of His power and goodness, in contrast to the deafness of idols. It exhorts its readers to trust in God three times and reminds them that God has not forgotten, but will bless those who trust in Him.

The Psalm opens by asking God to glorify His name (115:1), not because of the ones praising Him, but on the basis of His character. God always acts with the purpose of magnifying and glorifying Himself. Salvation's ultimate purpose isn't us, it is for His glory.

The Psalmist continues by responding to a question the other nations are asking (v. 2-3): Where is God? Answer: He's in the heavens, doing whatever He pleases. In other words, He's working, but you may not (and indeed many times won't) see it. He's doing "God things".

To illustrate the point further, he contrasts God with idols (v. 4-8). This is a lovely listing of the senses and actions of God versus the idols. The idols themselves are the work of human hands (v. 4). God is doing "God things" while the idols are made by humans doing "human things". Some god these idols are! These idols are speechless, sightless, deaf, can't smell, can't feel, and can't walk (v. 5-7). Indeed, the Psalmist warns that those who make or trust in the idols will become like them! I become like the thing(s) I place my trust in.

Now for the threefold exhortation to trust in the Lord. It follows the form: "Oh ___, trust in the Lord! He is their help and their shield." (v. 9-11) I must trust in the Lord--He's actually capable of being a help and a shield, in contrast to a deaf-mute-blind-immovable-senseless thing.

In light of this, there is a threefold promise of blessing (v. 12-15) although blessing has a different meaning than prosperity and lack of trouble.

In light of all this, our response is to bless the Lord (v. 16-18). This is interesting. The Lord blesses Israel/Aaron/those who fear Him, and we will bless the Lord. The human things that I can do is to trust, bless, and praise the Lord. God will do His "God things". He can be trusted. He is our help and our shield.

So trust Him. Bless Him. And praise Him today. For He is your help and your shield.

Hope in time of panic

Biblical hope is certain, not wishful. We tend to use hope as a synonym for wish. I hope it rains tomorrow = I wish/would like it to rain tomorrow. That is not how the Bible uses the word. Biblical hope is certain, because it rests on the Person of God, who cannot lie, and the plan of God, which never fails. How do I know? I reflect on the past, on what God has done (remember Habakkuk?), to use as a basis for trust in what He will do. Or as my favorite professor says, "What God has done in the past is a model and a promise of what he will do in the future, but he's too creative to do the same thing the same way twice." Then I act in faith on that basis, choosing to love, choosing to trust, choosing to act in trust and love instead of fear. And I have certain hope. Because love never fails. Because God is trustworthy. Because His promises are certain. Because He is my salvation (this is the meaning of my name, Joshua).

My brother was at Target yesterday and spoke with a lady with five children whose husband was just laid off. Unfortunately, and I think this is probably true of many of us, my brother expressed sorrow for her loss, but didn't think anything further. The food at Target was out. It didn't occur to him to get her information so he or others could help. In times of distress, it is easy and natural for our focus to become very self-centered--do I have enough ___? We are so busy buying what we think we need that we miss the needs of others. We are only going out to buy our own essential items and forget that maybe we ought to be looking out for others.

How about offering hope to someone in need today? Or even someone who is not in need? Even an encouraging word. But be more concrete. If you know someone is in need and you are able to meet it, give it, buy it, share it, do it. Fellow Christians, be the hands and feet of Jesus--not virtually, but physically! Bear one another's burdens (Gal. 6:2). Have an open hand, not a closed fist.

Pastors, do what you can to meet with every one of your congregation, as frequently as you can. If you can't do so physically, call them!

Those employed, find someone who just lost their job and meet what needs you can of theirs. Share it with those around you so together you all can do so.

Those thinking about ordering food, pay extra for the food you receive, support your local diners and restaurants, give a larger tip, be sure to thank them!

If you are hoarding, stop! Share. Don't bulk up in your purchases. There is plenty.

For all of us, be thankful, be encouraging, be calm (and wash your hands). Pray, remembering that many (most?) times God uses people to answer the prayers for others. Maybe you are to be someone's answered prayer today.

Give hope.

Faith in time of panic

The book of Habakkuk has been sitting on my heart since last night; it was brought to mind in my dreams and thoughts as a book very applicable to our current moment. I will briefly overview the book and then turn to some observations of his prayer in chapter 3.

Habakkuk was an Old Testament prophet who cried to God for help in the midst of a wicked nation (1:1-4) and was given a word from God that there was a coming judgment on Judah by the Chaldeans (Babylonians; 1:5-12). Habakkuk is horrified (1:13-2:1). How could a good God use such horrible people to judge His own people?! He can't believe it. And God responds to him, in 2:2-20 in a two-fold reply. First, He will judge His people (2:2-5) and second, He will judge the Chaldeans (2:6-20). In the first part of this response, He speaks what is quoted both in Romans and Hebrews--"the righteous will live by his faith." (2:4b) Habakkuk then responds in chapter 3 in a prayer to God, acknowledging His power and salvation (it is used 3x in this chapter) and a prayer of trust in the midst of the certain coming destruction.

Now for some observations. I think his prayer is a pattern for us to follow. Habakkuk begins by reflecting on the glory and power of God (3:1-4), remembers the Exodus (3:5-8, 15), creation (3:9-10), the sun standing still for Joshua (3:11), and possibly the conquering of the nations in Canaan through Joshua, the various judges, and David (3:12-14).

In times of trouble, I must remember the faithfulness and power of God that He has demonstrated in the past.

Habakkuk then acknowledges that he is afraid, that he dreads what is coming and he isn't looking forward to it (3:16-17). Things are going to be rough for him.

In time of (coming) trouble, I must remember that God hasn't promised lack of trouble, but His presence in the trouble.

Habakkuk rejoices in the Lord and and in His salvation (3:18). This seems unusual. Why would you rejoice in the salvation of the Lord when there is coming trouble? I think this is closely related to God's earlier statement of living by faith in 2:4b. My circumstances do not measure the extent or reality of God's salvation. They do not measure His love or goodness (although Hebrews will use suffering as an indication of it - Heb. 12:3-11).

I must live by faith in God's salvation--not a saving from the circumstances, but His redemption and goodness in them.

Finally, Habakkuk speaks of God being his strength (3:19), that he can walk in his "high places." In other words, God allows him to live "above" his circumstances, that by faith he can and does move to a greater place of trust and faith in God. God gives him the grace to endure and walk in them.

I must live by faith that God is my strength.

God is faithful, He is present, He is your salvation, and He is your strength. Reflect on the past, how God has been faithful to you and come through for you, and He is consistently your strength, working all trouble for the good of making each of us more like Christ.

Grace for Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob

In reading a bit of commentary on Romans 9 last night, the choice of Isaac and Jacob in verses 6-13 was highlighted as a powerful message of the grace of God. Paul brings back up the discussion of Abraham and the promise (4:16-21)--this promise being a son from both Abraham and Sarah. Ishmael, although firstborn of Abraham, was not this son, because the promise was by faith, and Ishmael was an attempt by Abraham to fulfill that promise on his own. However, Sarah was long past the age of bearing children, being 90 years old when she had Isaac. Thus, it had to be by faith that Isaac came, as entirely a gracious gift from God. There was no way Abraham and Sarah were going to be able to create this child of promise on their own. If anything, Ishmael demonstrates a weakness of faith in Abraham and Sarah that they thought they might 'help God out' in producing a son. But God's purpose was not to be altered--the son had to come through both Abraham and Sarah, well beyond their ability, that it might be shown to all that it was by grace through faith.

And then we come to Isaac and Rebekah, who have twins, but God does something unusual--He picks the younger through whom the blessing would continue (Rom. 9:13). Paul makes a point to observe that neither twin had done anything; they were both still in their mother's womb when God chose Jacob over Esau. The point again is that it is God's choice and God's purpose (9:11b)--that this is God's grace that is acting, choosing, and creating. It isn't on the basis of works. Certainly Jacob isn't the hallmark of integrity--he's a deceiver and a trickster throughout the story. But that is the point, and what Paul is calling attention to here. God did this to show "God's purpose according to His choice... not because of works but because of Him who calls" (Rom. 9:11b).

My natural tendency is to keep trying to do something to somehow please God and made Him more inclined to be favorable to me. That is "the Law" mentality and one that the Christian has been set free from. But there are still habits of legalism in me that come up and this truth of grace and God's choice must continue to be pressed into me. Reading this section last night and this morning shows this powerful story of God's gracious choice of His own purposes and choice, not due to any actions on the part of these people. God's salvation has always been by grace through faith, and Paul through the Holy Spirit is showing us that truth! He chose Abraham and Sarah by His grace, He made Isaac by grace, and He chose Jacob by grace. The faith is that God can do what He has promised, although praise God their faith was imperfect, as an example to me, whose faith is also imperfect. God isn't looking for perfection. He will fulfill His purpose. By His grace. I believe He will. Do you?

Faith Seeking Understanding

This is the third post in a short series I am doing on the subject of doubt in the Christian life. I want to continue the idea introduced in the previous post about learning to be comfortable with not having absolute certainty, for certainty is an impossibility! But going even further, I think it is important to recognize that the very nature of Christianity involves questions that remained unanswered, unknowable realities, and, to quote a professor of mine, faith seeking understanding and sometimes not getting it!

We must acknowledge that because we follow God who is completely infinite in all that He is and does, we will 1) lack understanding in many things He does and is because of our finite and limited nature, and 2) what we do understand and know about God is entirely due to His gracious revelation of Himself.

If you recall God's response to Job in the Old Testament, what is possibly implied is that Job cannot understand God's reasoning for allowing the pain and suffering in Job's life! God asks Job a series of questions, asking Job to explain how God created, how God designed, how God eternally existed, to name just a few of the questions. We would be wise, as Job was, to recognize that such knowledge simply isn't possible for us! It is beyond us!

I know you (and I) don't want to hear this. Seriously. I want to know. I want to be able to know. I think myself fairly smart and surely I can understand! But can I explain to the God of the universe how He made even the simplest of organisms? Can I create a simple living thing on my own, with matter and energy that I created, without using the materials He has made? Good grief, no!

I have a dog who is quite a joy to have and spend time with. In one of our first walks, as I have related previously, she picked up a saw blade thinking it something fun to chew on. I quickly removed it from her mouth and we moved on. I was (and still am) unable to explain to her why I took it away from her in a manner that she would understand. Notice the conundrum. I want my dog to know that I am good in taking away this blade, but I am unable to do so, because of limitations in both of us. I would need to make myself a "dog" to speak to her in a language she could understand, and I'm not sure even as a dog she'd understand what "good" actually means when something is removed that she wants. She must simply trust me, without understanding. Jesus Christ, the second Member of the Trinity, became fully man, speaking our language, that we might know Him.

Now, the intellectual difference between my dog and I is nothing---nothing---compared to the difference between God and I. So anything God does, if I am to know any part of it and understand any part of it, will be entirely due to Him communicating to me. And I will only know in part, but not in whole. I simply do not have the capacity of mind to comprehend all of the wisdom of God.

To put this in a much more elegant way, let's turn to the great Anselm of Canterbury, in his famous Proslogion:

I acknowledge, Lord, and I thank you, that you have created in me this image of you that I may remember you, think of you, and love you. Yet this image is so eroded by my vices, so clouded by the smoke of my sins, that it cannot do what it was created to do unless you renew and refashion it. I am not trying to scale your heights, Lord; my understanding is in no way equal to that. But I do long to understand your truth in some way, your truth which my heart believes and loves. For I do not seek to understand in order to believe; I believe in order to understand. For I also believe that "Unless I believe, I shall not understand." (my emphasis) [Classics of Western Philosophy, 8th ed., Steven M. Cahn, 2012, Hackett Publishing]

Reasons for Doubt

This is my second post in a series I am doing on doubt in the Christian walk (you can read the first post here). I want to continue to share my personal story with doubt and what I have discovered as the reasons I have doubted continue to doubt when they flare up again.

For me, doubt has had three roots: pain, ignorance, and rebellion. I think it is likely that this is true for most doubt. Let me take them one by one.

Pain can cause one to question the goodness of God. As I felt intense pain in my own life, primarily from what I felt was rejection and distance from my dad, I doubted the goodness of God. Pain and suffering--our own or that around us--can cause us to ask some really difficult questions. Why does pain and suffering exist if an all-powerful, all-good God exists? Why does God allow me to suffer? Or them to suffer? Why would God allow this? Does God even exist? Does He hear me? These are the ringing echos of cries that come from places of deep pain and suffering. And they are best not answered philosophically or intellectually, when one is in the midst of asking such questions! The question behind the question here is not intellectual, but one of the heart. This was one of the big mistakes of Job's friends who tried to "comfort" him by giving him answers in his suffering. Their finest moment was the first seven days when they simply sat with him and wept with him. As soon as they opened their mouths, they were done. Sometimes silence is the only thing we can do.

Ignorance is another root cause of doubt and questioning. This can occur when one has improper views from God (learned, implied, or assumed). As I struggled over the idea of God in my early 20s, my picture and image of God were primarily formed by my dad, and I wasn't thrilled with a God who was in my dad's image. My rejection of God was a rejection of that god, who I thought was as I had been raised. Thankfully, God is so much bigger than our conceptions and if you really want to find Him, He will be found!

Lastly, rebellion is a big reason for doubt. This, I fear, is not one that we find easy to confess, but when we are deeply and truly honest with ourselves, the idea of being accountable for our actions (especially knowing our own sinfulness) and our obedience being due to a higher power doesn't sit well with us. Our American Individualism doesn't want to be told what to do. After all, we have declared our independence and we have no king! The further I walked away from God, the deeper I went into outright rebellion against Him, as my choices and actions were against what His will was for my life. I didn't care. I wanted to go my own way. To quote C.S. Lewis in his struggle with coming to Christ:

"Remember, I had always wanted, about all things, not to be "interfered with."  I had wanted (mad wish) "to call my soul my own."  I had been far more anxious to avoid suffering than to achieve delight.  I had always aimed at limited liabilities.  The supernatural itself had been to me, first, an illicit dram, and then, as by a drunkard's reaction, nauseous."

Rebellion, whether in the form of "leave me alone" or "I will go my own way" can be easily covered up by the intellect raising "objections" to keep one at "arm's length" to God. And thus, I think this is the most insidious and nasty one, and the most camouflaged reason, even from ourselves.

Doubt

After a short discussion on the topic of doubt in my 20|30s church group, I want to further reflect on my experience with doubt in my walk and some of the lessons I've learned and been taught.

I was raised in an ultra-conservative, highly rigid form of Christianity (if you know him, Bill Gothard-style). There was no room for doubt. There was an answer for everything. I grew to expect certain results based on certain inputs. If one was a believer, then certain things would occur and conversely, others would not occur. Christians wouldn't get divorced, or if so, their divorce rates would be exponentially lower than non-Christians. Then I started getting out, first in college, and then on my own as I graduated college, moved to Dallas, and what I believed ran into the hard rock of reality. My assumptions were wrong. What I saw didn't match with what I had understood to be true. I quickly concluded that my understanding was wrong, and in the process, decided what I believed and had been taught was wrong too (the proverbial phrase of 'throwing the baby out with the bathwater'). Quoting from M. Scott Peck in his The Road Less Traveled (and I will address parts of this quote in a latter post since it contains aspects that I don't completely agree with, but it does provide a good context):

To develop a religion or world view that is realistic...we must constantly revise and extend our understanding to include new knowledge of the larger world. We must constantly enlarge our frame of reference... We must rebel against and reject the religion of our parents... our religion must be a wholly personal one, forged entirely through the fire of our own questioning and doubting in the crucible of our own experience with reality.

After trying a couple of churches in Dallas, I finally gave up and went agnostic for a few years and the more I observed of Christianity (primarily American evangelicalism), the more it disgusted me and my doubts became greater. I developed a mental stance that in order for Christianity to be true, my doubts must be fully and completely satisfied and my questions fully answered; and since this wasn't possible, Christianity was an untenable position for me. I continued to hold to the standard I had been raised with, but since that standard wasn't achievable, I wouldn't believe.

I share this personal story in what I plan as the first of a short series of posts on doubt in order to highlight what I consider to be the most important thing I've learned about doubt: you will never have absolute certainty about anything in life and if that becomes your standard, nothing will measure up or satisfy. One of the big reasons I stepped away from Christianity for a while was because my standard for certainty was unreasonable--it was too rigid and strict. I wanted to see, touch, taste, and smell, and that has simply not been given to me, nor to you.

So, I would urge you to consider your own expectations of evidence and certainty as you think about your expectations of God and how He reveals His truth to you. How much certainty are you expecting?

Some Turbulence May Occur

I just finished watching The Prince of Egypt, which is a 1998 animation of the story of Moses and the Exodus--the miraculous intervention of God to set the Jewish people free from their slavery in Egypt. Through the plagues, through the pillar of fire that stopped the Egyptian army while the people crossed the Red Sea, and the crossing of the Red Sea by splitting the waters in half, God's strength and power were evident.

As I watched the sea being split in the movie, I noticed there was a lot of fear in the faces of the people as they contemplated walking through the sea. No kidding! There are walls of water on both sides of you held up by One you can't see and you're just gonna trot on over to the other side with barely a thought?! You start to realize just how big God is! The disciples had the same experience when Jesus calmed the storm. Mark says that after Jesus calmed the storm, his disciples were "terrified" (4:41). The similarities and contrasts are interesting. In the Exodus, it took all night for the waters to be divided (Ex. 14:21); when Christ spoke, the storm stopped right then. In both stories, we see the power of God over water and wind, one visible, one invisible. In the former story, the people went through the water. In the latter, the disciples are in a boat on top of the water. Yet both feared death, the people of Israel from Pharaoh and his army, and the disciples from drowning. Moses was simply a representative of God, but Christ was the Word made flesh. In both, God controls the wind and water, one to blow strongly to separate, and the other to cease blowing to calm.

It can feel pretty rough and windy sometimes. Lately, it certainly has felt that way, as it seems like there is more terror, more partisanship, more division than in a while. It's easy to become disheartened and to feel hopeless. But God can use the wind or He can stop it. He can calm the storm or He can create one. He can still the waters or He can separate them. His call is still same: Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith? (Mark 4:40)

My Truth, Your Truth

Last night at the IBC20|30s group, our pastor asked a question about this common phrase "my truth" and "your truth", asking us what we thought of these statements and if there was "truth" in those statements. Put another way, can you have your truth and I have mine and they both be true?

I am a recovering fundamentalist and so I still slightly wince at the phrases my truth and your truth. If truth is true, how can each hold to something different and both be true? I want to jump up and drop the mic of absolute truth and walk off. What I have found is I have held to an overly simplified view of truth and of people, out of fear and laziness of not wanting to actually engage real people in real situations struggling with real issues.

I think much of my--and perhaps your--approach to religion at times can be one in which we adopt a certain set of propositions and truth statements, which gives us comfort in having the "right answer" as we navigate through the complexities of life. It's like the reason young children watch the same movie over and over again--knowing the outcome is comforting in a world that is ever changing. And yet, just as children grow and mature, accepting more complexity and newness and learning to leave the old behind, so too we must leave the simple and move toward the real. And part of embracing this reality is to recognize that people are complex and their reasons for acting and feeling the way they do cannot be squeezed into a simple mold of "black/white", "right/wrong", "good/bad".

We know this about ourselves intrinsically. If I choose to work out, I am doing it 1) so that I might feel better, 2) because it is healthy, 3) so that I might eat more, 4) to look better physically, 5) to burn off that extra cookie I had last night, 6) because I feel guilty for skipping these last few days, and there are at least several other reasons on top of these that I am not even aware of! And all of these are true! And this is the simplest of examples. Imagine the complexity of intention regarding things so much bigger!

I do want to affirm that there is absolute truth and that there is an unchanging, ever solid center of reality that is always true--God Himself, revealed to us in Jesus Christ, spoken through the Spirit in the Scriptures, and acknowledged in the regula fidei. None of this "my truth" and "your truth" is intended to supplant or cast this aside. But we would be wise to exercise caution in what we hold in that solid center and what might actually be outside of it. I know my tendency is and has been to drag as much into that rigid center because it asks so little of me. After all, it's much easier to walk around like the priest or Levite in the story of the Good Samaritan than it is to enter into the messiness of another's life--a messiness that requires me to acknowledge their truth and to love with Christ's love.

Walking on Water

Last week in a couple of conversations, I used the story of Peter walking on the water to Christ to illustrate my tendency to spend a lot of time sinking when seeing the wind and the waves (fear/anxiety/doubt/sin) instead of focusing on Christ, believing what is true, and choosing to move forward instead of be stopped by the waves. I was expressing the difficulty I’ve had opening my heart due to feeling like I am constantly sinking or about to be overwhelmed and so I tend to just stay in the boat. Staying “safe” but not really living from the heart, which is rather passionless.

Barely a couple of days later, at church, we sang a song that speaks directly to this story and the lyrics have been going through my mind non-stop since Sunday morning. It was Christ reaching into my heart and speaking directly to those feelings and fears. The bridge (in italics) is especially powerful.

Oceans (Where Feet May Fail) (Hillsong United)

You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand

And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now

So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior

I will call upon Your name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine

Goodbye, Fantasy

Goodbye to fantasy that please
And promises a life of ease
You make me think that’s it all fun
That I will never have to run.

You promise that love easy be
And any problems fix it me
You take a wish, a dream that’s true
And blow it up and make it huge.

You say that it will all feel good
And yet you steal and take what could
Be joy, life in reality
You rob of life and I’m not free.

The Pleasure Isle does promise all
It cries out loud, with tempting call
Pulling on wounds that lie so deep
And yet at end my soul does keep.

I’ve bought your lie that you can be
All that my heart did long to see
And yet at end all that I know
Despair, there is no place to go.

You say that just the corner round
Happiness is and will be found
But round the bend the lie does wait
And real is lost, what’s left is fake.

I needed someone as a friend
I opened up and let you in
You came to kill, steal and destroy
And thief you are against this boy.

Attractive was your promise to
Fulfillment give, it sounded true
Sign here on dotted line but don’t
Read fine print cause you’ll find it won’t.

You whisper soft with words so sweet
Come play, have fun, it will be neat
But at the end lies guilt and shame
You laugh and play again your game.

“You see the so-called coaster ride
It’s great, “ you say, to take you high
But you don’t say what’s at the end.
Destruction death, you’re not a friend.

When all is done at end of day
You leave and laugh, you’ve had your play
You leave behind an empty heart
Intention was to drain from start.

You poison everything you touch
For joy is lost in things so much
You take me up then throw me down
I toss and turn, am thrown around.

Your promises counterfeit claims
They take and steal and rob my name
My life of joy and freedom too
I’m left empty and feeling blue.

And when I try with all my might
To leave and get out of your sight
You yell and scream, “You’ll never leave
I own your soul, in traps I weave.”

I’ve given you so much my strength
In thirst to quench I drink and drink
Yet quench not does, nor satisfy
I’m left alone, in shame and lies.

I choose to turn my life away
And start anew, this brand new day
Embrace the real, walk in the true
Rejoice in that I am made new.

For Christ has set me free from sin,
It’s in his love that I can win
And live without the shame and lies
To see myself with brand new eyes.

The door is there, it’s time to leave
Take all your empty melodies
My heart though stays, not yours to take
As it in Christ has come awake.

Renounce do I no longer in
I will not trust and you’ll not win
Embrace will I the truth of life
The state of joy, but too the strife.

Renounce I do the lies believed
Go fantasy, you must now leave
In name of Christ, the Chosen One
Bought with a price and now his son.

I turn and view all that I’ve lost
Expensive is, oh what the cost
And yet, in Christ redeem He will
His promise that my heart to fill.

I mourn the loss of fantasy
I know that it can never be
I say goodbye to this old friend
Away you go, I’m on the mend.

Your lies no more believe will I
No more will I left out to dry
I want the source of life and joy
Not empty, false and deadly ploy.

The real, the true, the beautiful
Make my heart sing and with it full
To love with heart redeemed and new
Embracing all that’s real and true

My God in your forgiveness found
How long I’ve been to come around
And yet Father, tender and true
You love and cleanse and make me new.

Oh Christ may I walk in your love
Shown on the cross and by your blood
Your life you lived that I might be
Unchained, unlocked and truly free.

Oh praise the One who entered in
Not to destroy, but ransom sin
And sets me free to live the real
Embrace His life and fully feel.

My Jesus guard my heart today
Always with me each step of way
Keep searching and know well my heart
Be always there, at each new start.

Why Does God Delay

Why does God take so long to change me, especially when for months I’ve been crying out to Him, begging Him to change my heart, pleading with Him to touch and heal? I don’t understand the delay nor the purpose of it. So often, change happens all at once and then periods will go by where it seems like I’m just stuck in the mud, unable to move, paralyzed. I’ve been praying for a while now for a restored heart, as my emotions and heart have felt drained for quite a while now and I have had little feeling and emotion.

I think about my dog, Coco, a fun little beagle, who, like all hounds, cannot be trusted around food within her reach. From her perspective, it might seem mean to her that I don’t leave food within her reach, but I do so because I know if she overeats, she will get sick, and if it were to continue past a point, it would kill her. I withhold from her what she perceives as good because she is not capable of receiving the good responsibly. Perhaps this is one reason for God’s delay. Am I capable of receiving the gift of a restored heart right now? Am I responsible enough to have a whole heart and not foolishly damage it again, through sin or foolish choices?

I allow Coco out in front of the house without a leash, because she is somewhat trustworthy to not run off (although she does need to be checked on frequently). Through repeated training and working with her off the leash, she is able to be trusted some being off the leash. Likewise, God wants in me a particular kind of character, a character that is like Him. Perhaps some of the things I am praying for are things that require more character to both fully appreciate and respectfully treasure. Would I be given a new suit when I continually am found playing in the mud? Perhaps soap and a towel!

I don’t like waiting, but I can at least examine and work on the things that are hindering me from receiving a restored heart.

Les Mis and Grace

Last night I saw my favorite musical, Les Miserables, in Dallas.  It is one of the best pictures of the difference between law and grace.  This is an area I struggle with, especially leaning towards the law side, and missing or not realizing the presence of grace.

The contrast is most powerful as you see the two lead characters, Jean Valjean and Javert, come to face with a kind of grace that neither understands.  For Valjean, grace is given when he steals the silver of a bishop, who not only forgives him, but gives Valjean the rest of his silver.  Javert is astonished when Valjean lets him go instead of killing him, when Javert has hunted Valjean his entire life.  Both are forced to “do” something with this grace.  Each makes a different choice, but both with a death.

For Valjean, he realizes that his previous life must end – he can no longer live as he has: angry, defensive, thinking the world is only out to get him.  How difficult, after being in prison for almost 20 years, for stealing a loaf of bread.  And thus Valjean surrenders to the grace and becomes a changed man.  Bound and ruined by the law, he is freed and transformed by grace.

For Javert, he has lived his entire life within the rules, following the letter of the law.  He has no room for grace, no room to allow Valjean to go free, even when Valjean did not kill him when he had opportunity.  He cannot continue to live as he has – legalistic, exacting, and unbending.  But unfortunately, Javert is unable to embrace grace and instead kills himself.

What is the difference between the two?  Why was Valjean able to accept grace but Javert was not?  I think it is because one understood his real state and the other did not.  Valjean was a criminal and therefore grace was his only option for freedom.  Javert, on the other hand, lived a “perfect” law-abiding life and therefore had no need for grace.  Freedom for Valjean was through grace.  Freedom for Javert was through obedience to the law.  In the end, who was free?

Galatians 5:1 says that “it was for freedom that Christ set us free."  Christ set us free from the law, purchasing our freedom through his death, and offering it freely to us through grace.  As you celebrate this Christmas season, remember that it is through Him that you and I are able to truly live freely.  Merry Christmas!

I also blogged about these same scenes in Les Mis here.

Reality and Faith

One of my biggest struggles is with trying to understand the relationship between reality and spirituality. I feel a lot of frustration at times with what I perceive as "spiritual" ideas or concepts because I don't feel like these reflect an accurate picture of reality and thus won't be successful or practical in the long run. A conversation with a good friend last Tuesday brought this issue back up again and as I was thinking about it the following morning, I came across a passage that beautifully gave what might be the answer.

Without become weak in faith he [Abraham] contemplated his own body, now as good as dead since he was about a hundred years old, and the deadness of Sarah's womb; yet, with respect to the promise of God, he did not waiver in unbelief but grew strong in faith, giving glory to God, and being fully assured that what God had promised, He was able also to perform. (Romans 4:19-21)

Here is a man, called the "friend of God" by God Himself, who considered and accepted reality -- he and his wife's inability to have a child -- and yet even in embracing and accepting that reality (and I might even say because of his acceptance of this reality), his faith in God grew stronger. When one sees the impossibility of the situation, one is faced with either despair in the circumstance, or, in the case of the believer, hope and faith that only God has the power to work through the situation. This is what I mean by the acceptance of the reality being a partial catalyst in his faith growing stronger. Neither he nor his wife were getting younger and they were well past their child-bearing years. Yet this fact, this real situation, caused him to cast his hope and faith even more onto the God who had promised and who he believed could perform his promise.

What do I do in the different situations where I see a seemingly hopeless situation that I don't have the power or ability to change? The stories written were for our edification and encouragement -- look and see what happened to them and what God did in their lives. If God took a man and his wife and enabled them to conceive and have a son decades after that time had past, could He not change my heart and my life? Is anything too hard for Him? What will I do when faced with reality? Will I turn towards Him and increase my hope and faith in Him, or cry that the giant is too big, not seeing the greatness of God that makes any giant but a grain of sand on the seashore? Could not He who formed the earth and spoke everything into existence have the power to mold me into the image of His Son? Oh me of little faith, or as Dr. Bailey pointed out in the translation, oh little faither!