Why Does God Delay

Why does God take so long to change me, especially when for months I’ve been crying out to Him, begging Him to change my heart, pleading with Him to touch and heal? I don’t understand the delay nor the purpose of it. So often, change happens all at once and then periods will go by where it seems like I’m just stuck in the mud, unable to move, paralyzed. I’ve been praying for a while now for a restored heart, as my emotions and heart have felt drained for quite a while now and I have had little feeling and emotion.

I think about my dog, Coco, a fun little beagle, who, like all hounds, cannot be trusted around food within her reach. From her perspective, it might seem mean to her that I don’t leave food within her reach, but I do so because I know if she overeats, she will get sick, and if it were to continue past a point, it would kill her. I withhold from her what she perceives as good because she is not capable of receiving the good responsibly. Perhaps this is one reason for God’s delay. Am I capable of receiving the gift of a restored heart right now? Am I responsible enough to have a whole heart and not foolishly damage it again, through sin or foolish choices?

I allow Coco out in front of the house without a leash, because she is somewhat trustworthy to not run off (although she does need to be checked on frequently). Through repeated training and working with her off the leash, she is able to be trusted some being off the leash. Likewise, God wants in me a particular kind of character, a character that is like Him. Perhaps some of the things I am praying for are things that require more character to both fully appreciate and respectfully treasure. Would I be given a new suit when I continually am found playing in the mud? Perhaps soap and a towel!

I don’t like waiting, but I can at least examine and work on the things that are hindering me from receiving a restored heart.