Judgment in James 2

For judgment will be merciless to the one who has shown no mercy; mercy triumphs over judgment. (James 2:13)

Recently at church a question was posed about sharing the gospel and if, in light of this verse, one can judge another person's actions as sin (in terms of calling out certain activity as sin to the other person). I've thought some about this question and wanted to articulate a response, because I think there is some confusion over this verse and the idea of judgment in general. I will use the context of the passage in James 2:1-13 to highlight what James is referring to, and thus, what he is not.

For James, judgment, in this passage, is showing favoritism to certain people on the basis of certain characteristics. He opens the passage with an example contrasting showing favoritism to a rich man over a poor man, and how doing so makes one become a "judge with evil motives." (2:4) The initial point here is that showing favoritism towards people on the basis of wealth is wrong. He follows this example with a few of the ten commandments and demonstrates that showing favoritism makes one guilty of breaking all of the law (2:8-10). This is difficult to follow on the heels of his rich/poor man example. What is the connection? Why does James, who is speaking of not showing favoritism, then immediately follow it with commandments and the breaking of that law?

I think the argument that James is making is the following: just as we are not to show favoritism to people on the basis of wealth, so too we are not to show favoritism to people on the basis of sin, because our own sin condemns us -- the very act of showing favoritism is sin! One is not more valuable than another based on the sins in one's life, just like one is not more valuable than another on the basis of one's wealth. The Christian faith is one in which we are walk without playing the personal favoritism game (2:1).

Now we can see James' use of judgment differs with the idea of judging sin as sin. One who is a Christian is one who has surrendered to and agrees with God's judgments. When God states that a sin is a sin, that is His judgment. To observe that, in my life, or in the life of another, is not taking the place of God or going beyond what is appropriate. It is to call 'good' what God calls good and evil what God calls evil. We get into trouble when we start making value statements on other people based on sin (or any other thing, such as wealth). And that is what James is addressing here. There may be times where sin is to be labeled as such, in the hopes of repentance and/or restoration (recall that in James 5:15-16 we are told to confess our sins to one another to be healed). But, I go too far when I use sin, or anything else, to show favoritism to one over another.

God is not (just) love

If, as the title provocatively suggests, one describes God as primarily love, then such a description of Him is not only incomplete but fails to accurately communicate Him as He has revealed Himself to us. And it creates enormous barriers for us to understand why He acts as He does.

Christianity in this century appears to have swung the pendulum into an extreme position where we almost entirely focus on and talk about God's attribute of love. Love is everywhere. God is love. Love, love, love. The most important thing you must believe about God is that He is love. And then we scratch our heads and can't understand large parts of the Bible and what they reveal to us about God because it sure doesn't seem like love!

May I suggest it is because we've made God into our own chosen image, an image that we want to see, an image that we want to worship, and an image we want to share, instead of Who He actually is? We want a God of love because that is tame and safe and friendly. We're kind of embarrassed at some of the things God did in the Bible. God needs a better sales strategy. Let's focus on love. All you need is love, right?

Except not.

Most (all?) of the time someone comes into the presence of God, their reaction is not warm fuzzies. It is terrifying, woe-is-me fear! This includes the "apostle of love", John, who when He sees Jesus (JESUS!), falls down as if he is a dead man in terror (Rev. 1:17-18)! And he's the "disciple whom Jesus loved," the guy who wrote that "God is love."

If we want to know God, we must accept Him as He has revealed Himself, not as we would have Him. God is all of His revealed attributes, all of the time, in all their fullness, in everything that He does, in their maximum perfection. He is holy, righteous, just, merciful, good, infinite, all-knowing, everywhere present, all-powerful, and love (to name a few). I will note that the seraphim around the throne of God do not sing "love, love, love, is the LORD God Almighty" day and night -- they sing "holy holy holy" (Isa. 6; Rev 4)! When we focus on one attribute of God to the detriment of the others, we fail to know Him and honor Him as God!

If a passage of Scripture doesn't seem to make sense, ask yourself if perhaps it is showing you a bigger God than you currently imagine, who is way more than just love.

Faith Seeking Understanding

This is the third post in a short series I am doing on the subject of doubt in the Christian life. I want to continue the idea introduced in the previous post about learning to be comfortable with not having absolute certainty, for certainty is an impossibility! But going even further, I think it is important to recognize that the very nature of Christianity involves questions that remained unanswered, unknowable realities, and, to quote a professor of mine, faith seeking understanding and sometimes not getting it!

We must acknowledge that because we follow God who is completely infinite in all that He is and does, we will 1) lack understanding in many things He does and is because of our finite and limited nature, and 2) what we do understand and know about God is entirely due to His gracious revelation of Himself.

If you recall God's response to Job in the Old Testament, what is possibly implied is that Job cannot understand God's reasoning for allowing the pain and suffering in Job's life! God asks Job a series of questions, asking Job to explain how God created, how God designed, how God eternally existed, to name just a few of the questions. We would be wise, as Job was, to recognize that such knowledge simply isn't possible for us! It is beyond us!

I know you (and I) don't want to hear this. Seriously. I want to know. I want to be able to know. I think myself fairly smart and surely I can understand! But can I explain to the God of the universe how He made even the simplest of organisms? Can I create a simple living thing on my own, with matter and energy that I created, without using the materials He has made? Good grief, no!

I have a dog who is quite a joy to have and spend time with. In one of our first walks, as I have related previously, she picked up a saw blade thinking it something fun to chew on. I quickly removed it from her mouth and we moved on. I was (and still am) unable to explain to her why I took it away from her in a manner that she would understand. Notice the conundrum. I want my dog to know that I am good in taking away this blade, but I am unable to do so, because of limitations in both of us. I would need to make myself a "dog" to speak to her in a language she could understand, and I'm not sure even as a dog she'd understand what "good" actually means when something is removed that she wants. She must simply trust me, without understanding. Jesus Christ, the second Member of the Trinity, became fully man, speaking our language, that we might know Him.

Now, the intellectual difference between my dog and I is nothing---nothing---compared to the difference between God and I. So anything God does, if I am to know any part of it and understand any part of it, will be entirely due to Him communicating to me. And I will only know in part, but not in whole. I simply do not have the capacity of mind to comprehend all of the wisdom of God.

To put this in a much more elegant way, let's turn to the great Anselm of Canterbury, in his famous Proslogion:

I acknowledge, Lord, and I thank you, that you have created in me this image of you that I may remember you, think of you, and love you. Yet this image is so eroded by my vices, so clouded by the smoke of my sins, that it cannot do what it was created to do unless you renew and refashion it. I am not trying to scale your heights, Lord; my understanding is in no way equal to that. But I do long to understand your truth in some way, your truth which my heart believes and loves. For I do not seek to understand in order to believe; I believe in order to understand. For I also believe that "Unless I believe, I shall not understand." (my emphasis) [Classics of Western Philosophy, 8th ed., Steven M. Cahn, 2012, Hackett Publishing]

The Grace of No

I am studying the book of 1 Corinthians with some friends and we discussed chapter 7 on Monday, which is on marriage and singleness. For a group of all singles, this can sometimes be a tough topic, especially when the desire for marriage is present, but years have gone without its fulfillment. I graduated college at 20 and fully expected to be married within a couple of years; now, in my upper 30s, I am still single, having never married, and am content with where I am at right now. Had you told me this when I was 20, I would have nearly died. Perhaps one reason God does not (usually) tell us the future is because we can't handle knowing it. I wouldn't have chosen this path in my 20s and certainly had no idea I'd be where I'm at today. God hasn't given me much of what I have asked for and I am better off because of it! He has spared me some catastrophic marriage choices that, while the breakup was painful, following through with the relationship would have been worse. I am incredibly grateful that He continued to say "No" despite my earnest pleading and crying. It is a reflection of His goodness that He has graciously said "No" and given me what I need, not what I wanted or thought I had to have.

Celebrate the grace of the "No" answers that God gives in your life, for His goodness is just as evident in those as it is in His "Yes" answers.

Releasing the Fantasy and Loving the Real

I didn't talk to my dad for seven years. This began a few months after I moved out of his house. It was because the few times I did talk to him in that period were so destructive and hurtful emotionally for me that it took at least a week after each for me to recover. Later, towards the end of the seven years, I was talking with a therapist about my inability to have a relationship with my dad and therefore my continued total blockage of the relationship to protect myself. He said something that really ticked me off: "Your relationship difficulties with your father are your fault."

What!?!

Now I had been in therapy long enough to know that there's gotta be more. But I was pretty ticked off. How dare he tell me that the pain that I experienced each time I saw my dad was my fault! Ok, deep breath. "Please explain."

"These difficulties are your fault because you are expecting your dad to be something he cannot be and yet you continue to approach him and expect him to do, to say, to be what he isn't and cannot be. You are old enough and have seen enough that you both know that this isn't possible and you are able to approach him with enough caution to guide the conversation and interaction around the issues and topics you know will cause you pain."

Whoah!

This changed, and I mean CHANGED, my relationship with my father. You see, before, I went to my dad with the fantasy expectation that I had of the father and son relationship that I had always pictured that we would have when I was an adult. Me, the independent son, inviting him over for beers and a good conversation about deep topics, or calling him on the phone and having an interesting discussion about current events, or asking his advice on something that I was facing. Him, the wise sage, now ready to dispense advice and yet respecting my independence, ready to listen, to offer feedback, and have good discussion that wasn't always in perfect agreement. But here's the reality of my relationship with my dad: that isn't possible. And frankly, for me to expect that of him isn't loving my dad for who he actually is, but loving some fantasy that isn't even him. Sure, it would be great to have that kind of relationship. But that's not what I've been given, it's not what I have. If I was to have any relationship with him, it had to be a real relationship that recognized and respected his limitations (even those he wouldn't recognize or accept about himself).

This has come with a lot of mourning and a lot of sadness, even today. The last two times I have seen him, I have wished for more, but I've had to accept what is, and mourn the loss of what isn't. I can't force him to be what he can't. I must see him and love him as he is. For me that means I don't get to share all of me with him, because I know there are certain ideas and opinions I have that he could not accept and it would add unnecessary pain to the relationship. It's tough to let go of the fantasy. The fantasy "feels" right.. and in a perfect world, it is! But I must accept my dad as fallen, just as I am fallen too. And turn the fullness of my desires, and sorrow, to the Perfect Father in heaven.

Reasons for Doubt

This is my second post in a series I am doing on doubt in the Christian walk (you can read the first post here). I want to continue to share my personal story with doubt and what I have discovered as the reasons I have doubted continue to doubt when they flare up again.

For me, doubt has had three roots: pain, ignorance, and rebellion. I think it is likely that this is true for most doubt. Let me take them one by one.

Pain can cause one to question the goodness of God. As I felt intense pain in my own life, primarily from what I felt was rejection and distance from my dad, I doubted the goodness of God. Pain and suffering--our own or that around us--can cause us to ask some really difficult questions. Why does pain and suffering exist if an all-powerful, all-good God exists? Why does God allow me to suffer? Or them to suffer? Why would God allow this? Does God even exist? Does He hear me? These are the ringing echos of cries that come from places of deep pain and suffering. And they are best not answered philosophically or intellectually, when one is in the midst of asking such questions! The question behind the question here is not intellectual, but one of the heart. This was one of the big mistakes of Job's friends who tried to "comfort" him by giving him answers in his suffering. Their finest moment was the first seven days when they simply sat with him and wept with him. As soon as they opened their mouths, they were done. Sometimes silence is the only thing we can do.

Ignorance is another root cause of doubt and questioning. This can occur when one has improper views from God (learned, implied, or assumed). As I struggled over the idea of God in my early 20s, my picture and image of God were primarily formed by my dad, and I wasn't thrilled with a God who was in my dad's image. My rejection of God was a rejection of that god, who I thought was as I had been raised. Thankfully, God is so much bigger than our conceptions and if you really want to find Him, He will be found!

Lastly, rebellion is a big reason for doubt. This, I fear, is not one that we find easy to confess, but when we are deeply and truly honest with ourselves, the idea of being accountable for our actions (especially knowing our own sinfulness) and our obedience being due to a higher power doesn't sit well with us. Our American Individualism doesn't want to be told what to do. After all, we have declared our independence and we have no king! The further I walked away from God, the deeper I went into outright rebellion against Him, as my choices and actions were against what His will was for my life. I didn't care. I wanted to go my own way. To quote C.S. Lewis in his struggle with coming to Christ:

"Remember, I had always wanted, about all things, not to be "interfered with."  I had wanted (mad wish) "to call my soul my own."  I had been far more anxious to avoid suffering than to achieve delight.  I had always aimed at limited liabilities.  The supernatural itself had been to me, first, an illicit dram, and then, as by a drunkard's reaction, nauseous."

Rebellion, whether in the form of "leave me alone" or "I will go my own way" can be easily covered up by the intellect raising "objections" to keep one at "arm's length" to God. And thus, I think this is the most insidious and nasty one, and the most camouflaged reason, even from ourselves.

Doubt

After a short discussion on the topic of doubt in my 20|30s church group, I want to further reflect on my experience with doubt in my walk and some of the lessons I've learned and been taught.

I was raised in an ultra-conservative, highly rigid form of Christianity (if you know him, Bill Gothard-style). There was no room for doubt. There was an answer for everything. I grew to expect certain results based on certain inputs. If one was a believer, then certain things would occur and conversely, others would not occur. Christians wouldn't get divorced, or if so, their divorce rates would be exponentially lower than non-Christians. Then I started getting out, first in college, and then on my own as I graduated college, moved to Dallas, and what I believed ran into the hard rock of reality. My assumptions were wrong. What I saw didn't match with what I had understood to be true. I quickly concluded that my understanding was wrong, and in the process, decided what I believed and had been taught was wrong too (the proverbial phrase of 'throwing the baby out with the bathwater'). Quoting from M. Scott Peck in his The Road Less Traveled (and I will address parts of this quote in a latter post since it contains aspects that I don't completely agree with, but it does provide a good context):

To develop a religion or world view that is realistic...we must constantly revise and extend our understanding to include new knowledge of the larger world. We must constantly enlarge our frame of reference... We must rebel against and reject the religion of our parents... our religion must be a wholly personal one, forged entirely through the fire of our own questioning and doubting in the crucible of our own experience with reality.

After trying a couple of churches in Dallas, I finally gave up and went agnostic for a few years and the more I observed of Christianity (primarily American evangelicalism), the more it disgusted me and my doubts became greater. I developed a mental stance that in order for Christianity to be true, my doubts must be fully and completely satisfied and my questions fully answered; and since this wasn't possible, Christianity was an untenable position for me. I continued to hold to the standard I had been raised with, but since that standard wasn't achievable, I wouldn't believe.

I share this personal story in what I plan as the first of a short series of posts on doubt in order to highlight what I consider to be the most important thing I've learned about doubt: you will never have absolute certainty about anything in life and if that becomes your standard, nothing will measure up or satisfy. One of the big reasons I stepped away from Christianity for a while was because my standard for certainty was unreasonable--it was too rigid and strict. I wanted to see, touch, taste, and smell, and that has simply not been given to me, nor to you.

So, I would urge you to consider your own expectations of evidence and certainty as you think about your expectations of God and how He reveals His truth to you. How much certainty are you expecting?

A Grace that Withholds

I was reflecting this morning on the first few verses in Ephesians and God's boundless grace. As I've thought about God's graciousness, I've realized that His grace is evident just as much in what He does not give as in what He gives. The Psalmist writes that "he does not treat us as our sins deserve" (Ps. 103:10). Jesus Christ paid the price and took the wrath of God upon Himself so we would not be the recipients of that wrath. There is so much to grace that is a withholding grace.

This is consistent with our experience in even the daily things we do. There are hundreds of things I withhold from my dog, not because I hate her, but because they are not good for her. In her perspective, I am probably quite a kill-joy at times, but saw blades and cigarette butts aren't good for her! Heck, she'd eat herself to death if given the chance!

For me personally, I can clearly see many things--jobs, relationships, activities, possessions--I thought I could not live without, and yet in hindsight, I am so grateful He did not give me what I thought I had to have. I am grateful He took it away. I am grateful His grace withheld.

Perhaps you can think of things that have been withheld or taken from you, that at the time seemed horrible, but now you are so thankful that He did take it from you. Grace gives--both in what we don't have and in removing what we don't need.

The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord. (Job 1:21)

Fear

As a child, one of the reasons I was very bad at sports was that I was afraid of being hurt--being hit by the ball, being kicked, being injured, whatever. Unfortunately, this was consistent with my attitude towards most things: being afraid of them. I've noticed that my dog exhibits similar characteristics. She too is afraid. She is afraid of other dogs because she is afraid of being hurt (having been hurt a couple of times before by another dog). As I was walking her this morning, we came across another dog who was quite the gentle and sweet dog, but Coco would have none of this dog, for she was afraid. I felt sad because she is missing the freedom of having interaction with her own kind and the fun that can be for her.

My dad's response to my fear was usually anger, which, can I tell you, is really not a good way to get your child to not be afraid?! I went from being afraid of the thing to being afraid of both the thing and his reaction! I was thinking about it this morning as I watched my dog's fear, wondering what I could do to help her.

How does God respond to our fear? Does He get angry? Does He wash his hands and leave us on our own? Does He throw us in the deep end and wish us the best of luck? Exactly the opposite! I consistently see God telling His people that He is with them when He is exhorting them to not fear. For example, in Isaiah 41:10 God says "Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you; surely I will uphold you by my righteous right hand." One thing to note is all of the spacial relationships in this one verse.

• I am with you - beside you (around you)
• I am your God - above you
• I will strengthen you; I will help you - in you
• I will uphold you - below you

Perhaps a better response to the fear in another is to enter into that fear with them. Be with them. Be beside them, helping them, supporting them, encouraging them, praying for them. I'm not really sure what this looks like in a parent/child relationship, since I am not a parent. But I might have one suggestion to start. Because my perspective and knowledge is significantly greater than my dog's, I need to be more understanding of her fear, recognizing her limited perspective. This is, I think, part of what it means to enter into the fear of another. With a child, one needs to work to remember (if possible) what it was like to be at that age, perhaps with those same fears. Put yourself in his or her shoes. It will go a long way toward understanding.

Some Turbulence May Occur

I just finished watching The Prince of Egypt, which is a 1998 animation of the story of Moses and the Exodus--the miraculous intervention of God to set the Jewish people free from their slavery in Egypt. Through the plagues, through the pillar of fire that stopped the Egyptian army while the people crossed the Red Sea, and the crossing of the Red Sea by splitting the waters in half, God's strength and power were evident.

As I watched the sea being split in the movie, I noticed there was a lot of fear in the faces of the people as they contemplated walking through the sea. No kidding! There are walls of water on both sides of you held up by One you can't see and you're just gonna trot on over to the other side with barely a thought?! You start to realize just how big God is! The disciples had the same experience when Jesus calmed the storm. Mark says that after Jesus calmed the storm, his disciples were "terrified" (4:41). The similarities and contrasts are interesting. In the Exodus, it took all night for the waters to be divided (Ex. 14:21); when Christ spoke, the storm stopped right then. In both stories, we see the power of God over water and wind, one visible, one invisible. In the former story, the people went through the water. In the latter, the disciples are in a boat on top of the water. Yet both feared death, the people of Israel from Pharaoh and his army, and the disciples from drowning. Moses was simply a representative of God, but Christ was the Word made flesh. In both, God controls the wind and water, one to blow strongly to separate, and the other to cease blowing to calm.

It can feel pretty rough and windy sometimes. Lately, it certainly has felt that way, as it seems like there is more terror, more partisanship, more division than in a while. It's easy to become disheartened and to feel hopeless. But God can use the wind or He can stop it. He can calm the storm or He can create one. He can still the waters or He can separate them. His call is still same: Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith? (Mark 4:40)

My Truth, Your Truth

Last night at the IBC20|30s group, our pastor asked a question about this common phrase "my truth" and "your truth", asking us what we thought of these statements and if there was "truth" in those statements. Put another way, can you have your truth and I have mine and they both be true?

I am a recovering fundamentalist and so I still slightly wince at the phrases my truth and your truth. If truth is true, how can each hold to something different and both be true? I want to jump up and drop the mic of absolute truth and walk off. What I have found is I have held to an overly simplified view of truth and of people, out of fear and laziness of not wanting to actually engage real people in real situations struggling with real issues.

I think much of my--and perhaps your--approach to religion at times can be one in which we adopt a certain set of propositions and truth statements, which gives us comfort in having the "right answer" as we navigate through the complexities of life. It's like the reason young children watch the same movie over and over again--knowing the outcome is comforting in a world that is ever changing. And yet, just as children grow and mature, accepting more complexity and newness and learning to leave the old behind, so too we must leave the simple and move toward the real. And part of embracing this reality is to recognize that people are complex and their reasons for acting and feeling the way they do cannot be squeezed into a simple mold of "black/white", "right/wrong", "good/bad".

We know this about ourselves intrinsically. If I choose to work out, I am doing it 1) so that I might feel better, 2) because it is healthy, 3) so that I might eat more, 4) to look better physically, 5) to burn off that extra cookie I had last night, 6) because I feel guilty for skipping these last few days, and there are at least several other reasons on top of these that I am not even aware of! And all of these are true! And this is the simplest of examples. Imagine the complexity of intention regarding things so much bigger!

I do want to affirm that there is absolute truth and that there is an unchanging, ever solid center of reality that is always true--God Himself, revealed to us in Jesus Christ, spoken through the Spirit in the Scriptures, and acknowledged in the regula fidei. None of this "my truth" and "your truth" is intended to supplant or cast this aside. But we would be wise to exercise caution in what we hold in that solid center and what might actually be outside of it. I know my tendency is and has been to drag as much into that rigid center because it asks so little of me. After all, it's much easier to walk around like the priest or Levite in the story of the Good Samaritan than it is to enter into the messiness of another's life--a messiness that requires me to acknowledge their truth and to love with Christ's love.

More of God, More of Me, Though I am not He

I am in the midst of taking Trinitarianism at Dallas Theological Seminary with Dr. Horrell and as I have been told by many sources, it has been magnificent thus far! It is a lot of material to take in and digest (and ultimately it is hardly being digested but mostly stored away for future thought or at least a vague recollection which can then encourage me to dig further into my notes) in a single week. One thing has stuck out to me in this second day that I wanted to share because it seems so antithetical to how we typically expect relationships to function.

In relationships, we sort of expect that to some extent we will “lose” ourselves in the other person, somehow change, become different, or at least, we feel the pressure to do so. This is actually an indicator of a poor or unhealthy relationship, not a good one. What I am seeing in reflecting on the Trinity and the Godhead – the beautiful mystery of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit – is that true submission and love results in becoming more of who one truly is! The more I enter into the love of God, the more I submit myself to God, the more I actually become and embody – physically, emotionally, mentally – who I am made to be. In contrast to a pantheistic point of view where God sort of “takes me over”, in fact, in Christianity, God sets me free to become more real. And in an interesting way, we kind of “know” this is the case, because when you are in the “relationship” that is right, it is right because you are with a person who accepts you the way you are. The love of the other gives you greater freedom to be and enjoy you as you! That is love – loving the beloved as they are, not as we would try to manipulate them to be.

You may ask: “but doesn’t God expect us to change or to become more ‘Christlike’ or better?” Yes, but in the way one who actually loves the beloved would desire. You see, God sets us free from sin, which is the condition that is binding and preventative true freedom, and He provides us both the freedom and power (by His Spirit) to live more deeply and fully into our design, into how He’s made us. Satan (the Father of lies) would prefer that we live in bondage and in part, limping along with tiny bits of joy, scraps that only cause us to pursue things that can never satisfy. God wants us to live freely and true freedom in its fullest sense will mean loving Him in return – because He is the Creator, Sustainer, Redeemer, and Lover of our soul. We won’t lose ourselves in the process – we will become more of ourselves, which in turn, gives Him more glory, praise, and honor!

A Salivating Dog and Impossible Understanding

My dog has something going on with her mouth right now, as she is salivating uncontrollably and dripping all over the place. Usually this is caused by picking something up with the mouth and there being a reaction to it, which may last for a couple of days. In some cases, it could be something in the mouth, which means one needs to investigate carefully all the corners of a dog's mouth. Needless to say, this is not a favorite activity of my dog!

When I go to the doctor with a sore throat, I open wide when he tells me to, and allow him to peer into the corners of my mouth as long as he needs, hoping he will diagnose the issue and a solution will quickly be recommended. This is because my level of comprehension is roughly similar to that of my doctor's. I have some understanding of cause/effect, I know that he is there to help me, and I should cooperate. But my dog knows none of this. She knows my fingers are probing around in her mouth, a flashlight is shining in her face as I look around in her watery mouth, and she doesn't like it! But I'm trying to see if there is anything that I can find as being the cause of her (and my) distress.

After taking a couple of philosophy courses last year, I have come to understand that there are some things that are impossible for God to do, not because he is somehow limited in His infinite power or weak, but simply because God does not contradict reality and there are things that simply are logically impossible. It is impossible for me to communicate to my dog the intention and heart behind my investigation of her salivation. I want what is best for her. I love her. I want to help her and find the source of her problem so I can do what needs to be done to correct it. I am not torturing her or in any way wanting to inflict discomfort or pain out of some perverse feeling. Yet I am limited -- I cannot communicate my intent to her. I cannot tell her why I am doing what I am doing. I must do what needs to be done, with gentleness and love, knowing that she will never understand. It sucks.

And this is I think something that occurs between God and humanity. We simply cannot understand what He is doing or why He is doing it. Please understand that if God were to make you understand His ways then you would cease to be you! And I'm not even sure it would be possible to understand His ways, as you'd need to be God, which God cannot create.

In addition, I love the fact that my dog is a dog! I wouldn't want to change her to be any more or less than she is. She is fun and brings joy and it is great to see her in all her doggie glory. And I think that God has wisely made us to be what we are--human and fallible--and will not change us, at least not without our consent (and thus why He is willing to allow people to perish). But such limitations come with limitations, some we grow out of, and others we simply continue in because of our nature. God certainly wants us to be conformed to the image of Christ, but I think He is far from interested in us becoming a completely different kind of thing, such as a turtle, or angel, or worse, demon.

One day God will fully transform me into one who can enjoy Him forever. However, while my sin will be removed, I will still be human and I think, still experience things He does that I do not understand. And that is ok, because love does not need full understanding to love.

Meat for Communion?

I was reading in Leviticus this morning and noticed that part of the sacrificial system was that some of what was brought as a sacrifice was for the priests to eat. Part of the animal was burned and part of it was (sometimes) saved for eating. The death of the animal was both a cleansing for sin and a life-provision in the form of food.

When we remember Christ's sacrifice, we celebrate his sacrifice through eating bread in communion, not meat, as a representation of his body. It might be a bit more accurate if we used meat instead of bread as a remembrance, but we do not.

Here is one reason why bread over meat was used: if we used meat in our celebration of communion, it would require death (an animal would have to die). But death is no longer necessary, for payment for sin or for the remembrance of that payment. Hebrews says that Christ's death was "once for all" (Heb. 10:10) and thus even to remember His death by needing to shed blood would confuse the reality of the actual full satisfaction of His death. Christ's death eliminated the need for an animal to be slaughtered in payment for my sin. In the very celebration of communion, in the form of using bread, rather than meat, we are acknowledging the reality that the payment for sin through the shed blood of Christ fully and completely paid for sin and no more blood needs to be shed.

An Anselm Prayer

As part of a DTS class, I am reading Anselm's Proslogion, which is his argument for the existence of God. It is a fantastic read and I especially like his closing paragraph:

O God, I pray that I will know and love you that I might rejoice in you. And if I cannot do so fully in this life, I pray that I might grow day by day until my joy comes to fullness. Let the knowledge of you grow in me here, and there let it be full. Let your love grow in me here, and there let it be full, so that my joy here is great in hope, and my joy there is full in reality. O Lord, by your Son you command us--or rather, you counsel us--to ask, and you promise that we will receive, "that our joy may be full." Lord, I ask that you counsel us through our "Wonderful Counselor" (Isaiah 9:6). Let me receive what you promise through your truth, "that my joy may be full." O truthful God, I ask that I may receive, "that my joy may be full." Until then, let my mind ponder on it, my tongue speak of it. Let my heart love it and my mouth proclaim it. Let my soul hunger for it, my flesh thirst for it, my whole being long for it, until I "enter into the joy of the Lord," who is God, Three in One, "blessed for ever. Amen" (Romans 1:25). 

Love Withholds

Earlier I was eating dinner and my dog, Coco, was earnestly looking at me, hoping that I would give her what I was eating. I said to her (realizing immediately after there are a lot of spiritual implications):

Sometimes I wish you could understand that it is out of love that I withhold.

Sermon on the Mount

Oh no! The perfect law of God

That makes such strict demands

Reflect it does His character

His perfect, holy hands.

There is no way to satisfy

For me to make me right

To do a thousand good things but

Still sinful without light.

And when I read the words of Christ

In Sermon on the Mount

I’m even further than I think

More red in my account.

Be perfect as your Father is

Lust, hate are from the heart

You break his law when only you

Have thoughts, no action start.

You may have heard that it was said

Stay faithful to your mate.

But I say that you break your vow

When lust towards others make.

It’s also said that murder is

A thing you must not do.

But I say hate inside your head

The same as action too.

Be perfect as your Father is

For holy you must be

Approach Him not without clean hands

And heart that is washed clean.

I sit and cry, my God how do

I measure up to you?

How can a filthy man become

So pure and clean and new?

But God in mercy knew my state

In bondage and in sin

He knows there is no way for me

On own to enter in.

And thus He sent His only Son

To step into my place

Receive the condemnation that

Was due without His grace.

Jesus did pay all that was owed

God’s holy, righteous call

Because of Christ, I am made right

Not dead because of law.

And now I read the words of Christ

Through Him the standard meet

No longer do the words condemn,

In Him alive and freed.

Abide

This is based on the early verses of John 15.

Abide in me and I in you

Said the Lord Jesus Christ as He spoke the truth.

 

The love of the Father and love of the Son

Have finished the work, it is paid for and done

 

A branch cannot live unless through the vine

To produce the good fruit that is made into wine.

 

I’ll prune you and trim you says the Lord Jesus Christ

It will likely feel painful but it is worth the price.

 

Let my words deeply sink as nutrition for branch

Accept them and live them without any catch.

 

The pruning and shaping not punishment sake

But done out of love, more fruit will you make.

 

My desire is you to abide in my love

As I in the Father who lives up above.

 

Let my words and commands flow into your heart

Let them transform and change and provide a new start.

 

I am good and love you, I do what is best

I’m always vine dressing, I never will rest.

 

So find rest, oh soul in that I will provide,

As you live out my words and in me do abide.

Walking on Water

Last week in a couple of conversations, I used the story of Peter walking on the water to Christ to illustrate my tendency to spend a lot of time sinking when seeing the wind and the waves (fear/anxiety/doubt/sin) instead of focusing on Christ, believing what is true, and choosing to move forward instead of be stopped by the waves. I was expressing the difficulty I’ve had opening my heart due to feeling like I am constantly sinking or about to be overwhelmed and so I tend to just stay in the boat. Staying “safe” but not really living from the heart, which is rather passionless.

Barely a couple of days later, at church, we sang a song that speaks directly to this story and the lyrics have been going through my mind non-stop since Sunday morning. It was Christ reaching into my heart and speaking directly to those feelings and fears. The bridge (in italics) is especially powerful.

Oceans (Where Feet May Fail) (Hillsong United)

You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand

And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now

So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior

I will call upon Your name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine

Goodbye, Fantasy

Goodbye to fantasy that please
And promises a life of ease
You make me think that’s it all fun
That I will never have to run.

You promise that love easy be
And any problems fix it me
You take a wish, a dream that’s true
And blow it up and make it huge.

You say that it will all feel good
And yet you steal and take what could
Be joy, life in reality
You rob of life and I’m not free.

The Pleasure Isle does promise all
It cries out loud, with tempting call
Pulling on wounds that lie so deep
And yet at end my soul does keep.

I’ve bought your lie that you can be
All that my heart did long to see
And yet at end all that I know
Despair, there is no place to go.

You say that just the corner round
Happiness is and will be found
But round the bend the lie does wait
And real is lost, what’s left is fake.

I needed someone as a friend
I opened up and let you in
You came to kill, steal and destroy
And thief you are against this boy.

Attractive was your promise to
Fulfillment give, it sounded true
Sign here on dotted line but don’t
Read fine print cause you’ll find it won’t.

You whisper soft with words so sweet
Come play, have fun, it will be neat
But at the end lies guilt and shame
You laugh and play again your game.

“You see the so-called coaster ride
It’s great, “ you say, to take you high
But you don’t say what’s at the end.
Destruction death, you’re not a friend.

When all is done at end of day
You leave and laugh, you’ve had your play
You leave behind an empty heart
Intention was to drain from start.

You poison everything you touch
For joy is lost in things so much
You take me up then throw me down
I toss and turn, am thrown around.

Your promises counterfeit claims
They take and steal and rob my name
My life of joy and freedom too
I’m left empty and feeling blue.

And when I try with all my might
To leave and get out of your sight
You yell and scream, “You’ll never leave
I own your soul, in traps I weave.”

I’ve given you so much my strength
In thirst to quench I drink and drink
Yet quench not does, nor satisfy
I’m left alone, in shame and lies.

I choose to turn my life away
And start anew, this brand new day
Embrace the real, walk in the true
Rejoice in that I am made new.

For Christ has set me free from sin,
It’s in his love that I can win
And live without the shame and lies
To see myself with brand new eyes.

The door is there, it’s time to leave
Take all your empty melodies
My heart though stays, not yours to take
As it in Christ has come awake.

Renounce do I no longer in
I will not trust and you’ll not win
Embrace will I the truth of life
The state of joy, but too the strife.

Renounce I do the lies believed
Go fantasy, you must now leave
In name of Christ, the Chosen One
Bought with a price and now his son.

I turn and view all that I’ve lost
Expensive is, oh what the cost
And yet, in Christ redeem He will
His promise that my heart to fill.

I mourn the loss of fantasy
I know that it can never be
I say goodbye to this old friend
Away you go, I’m on the mend.

Your lies no more believe will I
No more will I left out to dry
I want the source of life and joy
Not empty, false and deadly ploy.

The real, the true, the beautiful
Make my heart sing and with it full
To love with heart redeemed and new
Embracing all that’s real and true

My God in your forgiveness found
How long I’ve been to come around
And yet Father, tender and true
You love and cleanse and make me new.

Oh Christ may I walk in your love
Shown on the cross and by your blood
Your life you lived that I might be
Unchained, unlocked and truly free.

Oh praise the One who entered in
Not to destroy, but ransom sin
And sets me free to live the real
Embrace His life and fully feel.

My Jesus guard my heart today
Always with me each step of way
Keep searching and know well my heart
Be always there, at each new start.