Meat for Communion?

I was reading in Leviticus this morning and noticed that part of the sacrificial system was that some of what was brought as a sacrifice was for the priests to eat. Part of the animal was burned and part of it was (sometimes) saved for eating. The death of the animal was both a cleansing for sin and a life-provision in the form of food.

When we remember Christ's sacrifice, we celebrate his sacrifice through eating bread in communion, not meat, as a representation of his body. It might be a bit more accurate if we used meat instead of bread as a remembrance, but we do not.

Here is one reason why bread over meat was used: if we used meat in our celebration of communion, it would require death (an animal would have to die). But death is no longer necessary, for payment for sin or for the remembrance of that payment. Hebrews says that Christ's death was "once for all" (Heb. 10:10) and thus even to remember His death by needing to shed blood would confuse the reality of the actual full satisfaction of His death. Christ's death eliminated the need for an animal to be slaughtered in payment for my sin. In the very celebration of communion, in the form of using bread, rather than meat, we are acknowledging the reality that the payment for sin through the shed blood of Christ fully and completely paid for sin and no more blood needs to be shed.

An Anselm Prayer

As part of a DTS class, I am reading Anselm's Proslogion, which is his argument for the existence of God. It is a fantastic read and I especially like his closing paragraph:

O God, I pray that I will know and love you that I might rejoice in you. And if I cannot do so fully in this life, I pray that I might grow day by day until my joy comes to fullness. Let the knowledge of you grow in me here, and there let it be full. Let your love grow in me here, and there let it be full, so that my joy here is great in hope, and my joy there is full in reality. O Lord, by your Son you command us--or rather, you counsel us--to ask, and you promise that we will receive, "that our joy may be full." Lord, I ask that you counsel us through our "Wonderful Counselor" (Isaiah 9:6). Let me receive what you promise through your truth, "that my joy may be full." O truthful God, I ask that I may receive, "that my joy may be full." Until then, let my mind ponder on it, my tongue speak of it. Let my heart love it and my mouth proclaim it. Let my soul hunger for it, my flesh thirst for it, my whole being long for it, until I "enter into the joy of the Lord," who is God, Three in One, "blessed for ever. Amen" (Romans 1:25). 

Love Withholds

Earlier I was eating dinner and my dog, Coco, was earnestly looking at me, hoping that I would give her what I was eating. I said to her (realizing immediately after there are a lot of spiritual implications):

Sometimes I wish you could understand that it is out of love that I withhold.

Sermon on the Mount

Oh no! The perfect law of God

That makes such strict demands

Reflect it does His character

His perfect, holy hands.

There is no way to satisfy

For me to make me right

To do a thousand good things but

Still sinful without light.

And when I read the words of Christ

In Sermon on the Mount

I’m even further than I think

More red in my account.

Be perfect as your Father is

Lust, hate are from the heart

You break his law when only you

Have thoughts, no action start.

You may have heard that it was said

Stay faithful to your mate.

But I say that you break your vow

When lust towards others make.

It’s also said that murder is

A thing you must not do.

But I say hate inside your head

The same as action too.

Be perfect as your Father is

For holy you must be

Approach Him not without clean hands

And heart that is washed clean.

I sit and cry, my God how do

I measure up to you?

How can a filthy man become

So pure and clean and new?

But God in mercy knew my state

In bondage and in sin

He knows there is no way for me

On own to enter in.

And thus He sent His only Son

To step into my place

Receive the condemnation that

Was due without His grace.

Jesus did pay all that was owed

God’s holy, righteous call

Because of Christ, I am made right

Not dead because of law.

And now I read the words of Christ

Through Him the standard meet

No longer do the words condemn,

In Him alive and freed.

Abide

This is based on the early verses of John 15.

Abide in me and I in you

Said the Lord Jesus Christ as He spoke the truth.

 

The love of the Father and love of the Son

Have finished the work, it is paid for and done

 

A branch cannot live unless through the vine

To produce the good fruit that is made into wine.

 

I’ll prune you and trim you says the Lord Jesus Christ

It will likely feel painful but it is worth the price.

 

Let my words deeply sink as nutrition for branch

Accept them and live them without any catch.

 

The pruning and shaping not punishment sake

But done out of love, more fruit will you make.

 

My desire is you to abide in my love

As I in the Father who lives up above.

 

Let my words and commands flow into your heart

Let them transform and change and provide a new start.

 

I am good and love you, I do what is best

I’m always vine dressing, I never will rest.

 

So find rest, oh soul in that I will provide,

As you live out my words and in me do abide.

Walking on Water

Last week in a couple of conversations, I used the story of Peter walking on the water to Christ to illustrate my tendency to spend a lot of time sinking when seeing the wind and the waves (fear/anxiety/doubt/sin) instead of focusing on Christ, believing what is true, and choosing to move forward instead of be stopped by the waves. I was expressing the difficulty I’ve had opening my heart due to feeling like I am constantly sinking or about to be overwhelmed and so I tend to just stay in the boat. Staying “safe” but not really living from the heart, which is rather passionless.

Barely a couple of days later, at church, we sang a song that speaks directly to this story and the lyrics have been going through my mind non-stop since Sunday morning. It was Christ reaching into my heart and speaking directly to those feelings and fears. The bridge (in italics) is especially powerful.

Oceans (Where Feet May Fail) (Hillsong United)

You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand

And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now

So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior

I will call upon Your name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine

Goodbye, Fantasy

Goodbye to fantasy that please
And promises a life of ease
You make me think that’s it all fun
That I will never have to run.

You promise that love easy be
And any problems fix it me
You take a wish, a dream that’s true
And blow it up and make it huge.

You say that it will all feel good
And yet you steal and take what could
Be joy, life in reality
You rob of life and I’m not free.

The Pleasure Isle does promise all
It cries out loud, with tempting call
Pulling on wounds that lie so deep
And yet at end my soul does keep.

I’ve bought your lie that you can be
All that my heart did long to see
And yet at end all that I know
Despair, there is no place to go.

You say that just the corner round
Happiness is and will be found
But round the bend the lie does wait
And real is lost, what’s left is fake.

I needed someone as a friend
I opened up and let you in
You came to kill, steal and destroy
And thief you are against this boy.

Attractive was your promise to
Fulfillment give, it sounded true
Sign here on dotted line but don’t
Read fine print cause you’ll find it won’t.

You whisper soft with words so sweet
Come play, have fun, it will be neat
But at the end lies guilt and shame
You laugh and play again your game.

“You see the so-called coaster ride
It’s great, “ you say, to take you high
But you don’t say what’s at the end.
Destruction death, you’re not a friend.

When all is done at end of day
You leave and laugh, you’ve had your play
You leave behind an empty heart
Intention was to drain from start.

You poison everything you touch
For joy is lost in things so much
You take me up then throw me down
I toss and turn, am thrown around.

Your promises counterfeit claims
They take and steal and rob my name
My life of joy and freedom too
I’m left empty and feeling blue.

And when I try with all my might
To leave and get out of your sight
You yell and scream, “You’ll never leave
I own your soul, in traps I weave.”

I’ve given you so much my strength
In thirst to quench I drink and drink
Yet quench not does, nor satisfy
I’m left alone, in shame and lies.

I choose to turn my life away
And start anew, this brand new day
Embrace the real, walk in the true
Rejoice in that I am made new.

For Christ has set me free from sin,
It’s in his love that I can win
And live without the shame and lies
To see myself with brand new eyes.

The door is there, it’s time to leave
Take all your empty melodies
My heart though stays, not yours to take
As it in Christ has come awake.

Renounce do I no longer in
I will not trust and you’ll not win
Embrace will I the truth of life
The state of joy, but too the strife.

Renounce I do the lies believed
Go fantasy, you must now leave
In name of Christ, the Chosen One
Bought with a price and now his son.

I turn and view all that I’ve lost
Expensive is, oh what the cost
And yet, in Christ redeem He will
His promise that my heart to fill.

I mourn the loss of fantasy
I know that it can never be
I say goodbye to this old friend
Away you go, I’m on the mend.

Your lies no more believe will I
No more will I left out to dry
I want the source of life and joy
Not empty, false and deadly ploy.

The real, the true, the beautiful
Make my heart sing and with it full
To love with heart redeemed and new
Embracing all that’s real and true

My God in your forgiveness found
How long I’ve been to come around
And yet Father, tender and true
You love and cleanse and make me new.

Oh Christ may I walk in your love
Shown on the cross and by your blood
Your life you lived that I might be
Unchained, unlocked and truly free.

Oh praise the One who entered in
Not to destroy, but ransom sin
And sets me free to live the real
Embrace His life and fully feel.

My Jesus guard my heart today
Always with me each step of way
Keep searching and know well my heart
Be always there, at each new start.

Why Does God Delay

Why does God take so long to change me, especially when for months I’ve been crying out to Him, begging Him to change my heart, pleading with Him to touch and heal? I don’t understand the delay nor the purpose of it. So often, change happens all at once and then periods will go by where it seems like I’m just stuck in the mud, unable to move, paralyzed. I’ve been praying for a while now for a restored heart, as my emotions and heart have felt drained for quite a while now and I have had little feeling and emotion.

I think about my dog, Coco, a fun little beagle, who, like all hounds, cannot be trusted around food within her reach. From her perspective, it might seem mean to her that I don’t leave food within her reach, but I do so because I know if she overeats, she will get sick, and if it were to continue past a point, it would kill her. I withhold from her what she perceives as good because she is not capable of receiving the good responsibly. Perhaps this is one reason for God’s delay. Am I capable of receiving the gift of a restored heart right now? Am I responsible enough to have a whole heart and not foolishly damage it again, through sin or foolish choices?

I allow Coco out in front of the house without a leash, because she is somewhat trustworthy to not run off (although she does need to be checked on frequently). Through repeated training and working with her off the leash, she is able to be trusted some being off the leash. Likewise, God wants in me a particular kind of character, a character that is like Him. Perhaps some of the things I am praying for are things that require more character to both fully appreciate and respectfully treasure. Would I be given a new suit when I continually am found playing in the mud? Perhaps soap and a towel!

I don’t like waiting, but I can at least examine and work on the things that are hindering me from receiving a restored heart.

On Dogs, Noses, and the Spirit

One of my favorite games to play with my beagle, Coco, is multiple versions of hide-and-go-seek.  Sometimes I will hide myself in the house; other times I will hide a toy of hers in a room, and other times I will simply sit on the floor and hide her toy under my legs or hands.  What I find interesting is that no matter how many times we play this game, she tries to use her vision or hearing in the search; rarely does she use her sense of smell.  I can hide her toy in the same spot repeatedly, but if she didn't see me hide it there, she does not think to look there.  The whole time she has this magnificent sense of smell that is unused and untapped, one that would find what she is looking for every time, in short order.

 

As I thought about this while playing with her this evening, I came to realize that this is often how I approach the Spirit's ministry in my life.  I would rather do things in my own strength - thank you very much -- I'll resist temptation, try to act more Christ-like, or reduce a particular bad habit in my own strength.  Nevermind the fact that the Spirit of Christ lives in me and is there, ready and able to strengthen me.  And in truth, without Him, my own frail efforts will fail, just like my dog's attempt at using what she sees is frequently a failure.

 

Why does she, and why do I, continue using such inferior methods?  Because she forgets that she has this amazing nose on the end of her snout (and I forget the Spirit lives in me).  Because she has is not practiced in using her nose, relying instead of her other senses (just as I am unpracticed in the reliance on the Spirit).  Because the use of her nose requires more than sight or hearing (and the reliance on the Spirit requires a different approach of me).  Because she thinks she knows where I hid it when in fact appearances can be deceiving (just as they can in my own life and yet I think I can do it somehow). 

 

The few times when she has actually engaged her nose it has been no contest.  Not a hope, not an attempt, there is no place to hide, because then, she will find it.  Alas, those times are rare.  With her and with me.

 

The analogy does break down in one area, and that is: her nose is part of her, it is something she in her nature is capable of.  Without the Spirit, well, I am simply a dog without a nose.

 

 

Why does God appear nasty?

I am taking another class at Dallas Theological Seminary, this one under Dr. Bingham, and am having my mind stretched and expanded in some interesting and challenging ways.  The class this week is on the History of Doctrine, and a discussion today ensued on why the church ignores much of the Old Testament.  A big part of the reason is because the church is uncomfortable with how God is portrayed in the Old Testament.  He seems judgmental, angry, jealous, vindictive, loves war and killing, and appears downright nasty.  How do I harmonize the Old Testament’s (and even some of the New) view of God with the picture that Christ gives me? 

I posed the question to Dr. Bingham on how we respond to those such as Dawkins, who in his book, The God Delusion, called the God of the Old Testament many of those things mentioned above (and much more).  Bingham’s response was at first surprising and then absolutely refreshing to me:

Justice, when executed by a Perfect Judge, is beautiful.

How in the world can I find those descriptions beautiful?  One of Bingham’s favorites is Isaiah 63:3, which describes God as walking on and squashing, squeezing the blood out of, those who are wicked, staining his white garment with the blood and gore of those He has crushed.  It hit me like a ton of bricks, or maybe like a man being squeezed just a bit :).

The “nastiness” of God simply shows me how serious He views sin.  Read that again.  That anger, that seeming ugliness, the death and blood and sacrifice required by God, is because of my sin.  All of this is a vivid image, a stark reality of just how serious sin is to a holy God.  It is ugly because sin is ugly.  It is bloody because sin is bloody.  It is horrible because sin is horrible.  The consequences of sin are ugly, bloody, and horrific.  The cross is ugly, it is bloody, it is horrific because of sin.  “Without the shedding of blood, there is no forgiveness of sin.” (Heb. 9:22)

The God of the Old Testament is just as beautiful as the God of the New and He is one and the same.  “How beautiful are the feet of them who bring good news”, the news that Jesus Christ, “who knew no sin, became sin”, took the trampling and anger and fury of God in my place, that “I might become his righteousness in Christ”, so that I might be in the palm of his hand and not under the heel of his foot (Is. 52:7, 2 Co. 5:21).

Prayer for a Friend

Oh Lord, I pray for my dear friend
Who runs and kicks and hides
I want to see in freedom live
And not in Satan’s lies.

It hurts to see this friend of mine
With unacknowledged pain.
I have been there, know what it’s like
With things that were the same.

What wounds exist that cause the heart
To build walls large and strong?
Which causes none to penetrate
So nothing will go wrong.

I pray that you, dear Son of God
Would come and set one free
That you would open friend’s eyes wide
So that the heart might see.

What pain is there, what hurt from past
What things are there before?
What unresolved and unaware
Prevent an open door?

Lord I pray for healing and
For light to shine in face
That sight be giv’n, and heart made whole
As you pour out your grace.

Oh Lord I know, in my own life
The lies that I’ve believed.
Impacted they to partial life
The state that I did lead.

Your heart is large, your arms are wide
And you do not condemn.
Anyone can come to the cross
Which frees from any sin.

I long to see this friend of mine
Live freely through what’s true.
I pray that you will bring to friend
A heart and mind made new.

Also dear Lord protect my heart
From being too involved
Let me just pray, support and love
And trust you’ll catch a fall.

Les Mis and Grace

Last night I saw my favorite musical, Les Miserables, in Dallas.  It is one of the best pictures of the difference between law and grace.  This is an area I struggle with, especially leaning towards the law side, and missing or not realizing the presence of grace.

The contrast is most powerful as you see the two lead characters, Jean Valjean and Javert, come to face with a kind of grace that neither understands.  For Valjean, grace is given when he steals the silver of a bishop, who not only forgives him, but gives Valjean the rest of his silver.  Javert is astonished when Valjean lets him go instead of killing him, when Javert has hunted Valjean his entire life.  Both are forced to “do” something with this grace.  Each makes a different choice, but both with a death.

For Valjean, he realizes that his previous life must end – he can no longer live as he has: angry, defensive, thinking the world is only out to get him.  How difficult, after being in prison for almost 20 years, for stealing a loaf of bread.  And thus Valjean surrenders to the grace and becomes a changed man.  Bound and ruined by the law, he is freed and transformed by grace.

For Javert, he has lived his entire life within the rules, following the letter of the law.  He has no room for grace, no room to allow Valjean to go free, even when Valjean did not kill him when he had opportunity.  He cannot continue to live as he has – legalistic, exacting, and unbending.  But unfortunately, Javert is unable to embrace grace and instead kills himself.

What is the difference between the two?  Why was Valjean able to accept grace but Javert was not?  I think it is because one understood his real state and the other did not.  Valjean was a criminal and therefore grace was his only option for freedom.  Javert, on the other hand, lived a “perfect” law-abiding life and therefore had no need for grace.  Freedom for Valjean was through grace.  Freedom for Javert was through obedience to the law.  In the end, who was free?

Galatians 5:1 says that “it was for freedom that Christ set us free."  Christ set us free from the law, purchasing our freedom through his death, and offering it freely to us through grace.  As you celebrate this Christmas season, remember that it is through Him that you and I are able to truly live freely.  Merry Christmas!

I also blogged about these same scenes in Les Mis here.

Understanding your way

Proverbs 14:8 says: The wisdom of the prudent is to understand his way, but the folly of fools is deceit. This struck me as emphasizing the value of knowing one's self. Understanding one's way is knowing the why behind one's actions. Given the context of the first part of this verse, perhaps the second part is suggesting that the opposite (foolish) is to continue to lie to one's self. Not knowing one's self is folly. Not spending the time to understand one's way forces one to lie both to the self and to others. While that understanding takes great time and energy, it is incredibly freeing.

Steve Jobs

In light of his passing away yesterday, it is well worth reading what he said about living:

http://news.stanford.edu/news/2005/june15/jobs-061505.html

The love of Christ, Harry Potter, and Addison Road

This morning I was meditating on the love of Christ and read in Ephesians 3:14-19:

For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name, that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God.

The love of Christ is to provide the base for everything I do. Rooted and grounded are words that indicate roots, foundation, depth, and certainty. I remember reading that the measurement words here are also used in astronomy, so the picture Paul writes here is one of the solar system, universe, the sheer immensity of the love of Christ. The foundation has no end to it!

Not only does Christ’s love provide a foundation, but it also gives me a covering. If you remember the story of Harry Potter and how his mother died trying to save him when Voldemort came to kill him, the killing curse that Voldemort cast at Harry rebounded back onto Voldemort. The death of Harry’s mother cast a shield of protection around him – it was her love, and thus her death, that protected Harry from the killing (remember it was one of the unstoppable) curse. In the same way, Christ’s death covers me from the curse of death and I am saved because of His love. Death kills itself because Christ stands between me and death, having died once and for all out of His love. The love of Christ is a covering.

And one more – the love of Christ provides me with the ability to be authentic. One of my favorite songs by Addison Road expresses this much better than I can (my emphasis):

Who I Am In You by Addison Road

Secrets they were killing me
Pulled me under in too deep
All those shadows they don't let go
Easily

But everything I covered up
Is opening inside Your love
Let Your grace illuminate
The heart in me

Oh, You're bringing me to life
And I'm finding who I am in You
Who I am in You
Oh, You're changing me inside
And I'm finding who I am in You
Who I am in You

Breath Your breath into my soul
Let my heart beat with Your own
I need Your mercy
Even when it hurts
Please shine on me
Shine on me

Oh, You're bringing me to life
And I'm finding who I am in You
Who I am in You
Oh, You're changing me inside
And I'm finding who I am in You
Who I am

If there's anything I try to hide
I pray that You will bring it to the light
Strip away the lies that I pretend
Teach me how to be a child again

Resting in Your arms
Resting in Your arms
And I could feel Your love changing me

Oh, You're bringing me to life
And I'm finding who I am in You
Who I am in You
Oh, I've finally realized
That I'm finding who I am in You
Who I am
In You
Who I am in You
Who I am in You

This is an amazing song, but more than that, it reflects an amazing truth. His gentle love strips the lies and facades built to protect my real self and provides me with the freedom to actually be the real me.

There is so much more that the love of Christ provides, but this morning, this is what He has impressed upon me. I hope you find it encouraging as well.

Government Default Hysteria

There is a lot of fuss these days about the chaos and breakdown to society should those on Capitol Hill fail to pass a bill allowing the government to continue borrowing money.  One of the statements that keeps getting made is that the Federal government would "default" on its debt and that would be the worst possible thing.  Most of this is just hype, emotions, and nonsense.

 

The Federal government is spending around $3.8 trillion annually, with interest on the debt just over $400 billion annually.  We are running about a $1.4-1.6 trillion deficit and thus "need" to borrow that amount to continue spending at present levels.

 

Can I point out a couple of obvious things?  First, a default on debt is only a default if you stop making payments!  With the numbers above, we can still make payments, we just can't continue spending at our present levels.  Second, nothing is going to crash and burn.  The markets aren't going to fail.  Again, all this talk of 'default' is just emotion and crying wolf.  I think the leadership in Washington is afraid that if they didn't get the debt limit increased, and nothing happened, it would provide more evidence that we actually don't need the government to spend our future away!

 

As for the talk of compromise, a $2-4 trillion deal is nonsense.  Spread out over 10 years, that comes to $200-400 billion per year.  We are running $1,500 billion per year over budget.  $200 billion is a waste of our time and energy.  When they start talking about $10 trillion over 10 years in savings with a balanced-budget amendment, then we might have something!  Until the, the man behind the curtain is blowing smoke to cover his butt.  Does the leadership in Washington have the guts for this?  Alas, no.  But let's not fool ourselves into thinking anything is being solved, nor be fooled into thinking any disaster will strike were they not to do something.  Perhaps the best that could happen is for them to do nothing.  Now wouldn't that be something.

2010 Reading List

So here was my reading list for 2010 - of the list below, if you want a couple of must-reads, I'd recommend Inside Out for spiritual development and New Deal or Raw Deal for history/politics.

• A Culture of Fear by Barry Glassner
• American Assassin by Vince Flynn
• Breach of Trust by DiAnn Mills
• Buyers, Renters, and Freeloaders by Willard Harley
• Capitol Offense by William Bernhardt
• Courage and Consequence by Karl Rove
• Damned Lies and Statistics by Joel Best
• Federalist Papers* by Madison, Hamilton, Jay
  
• Guardian of Lies by Steve Martini
• Inside Out by Larry Crabb
• Liberty and Tyranny by Mark Levin
• Life of the Beloved by Nouwen
• New Deal or Raw Deal by Burton Folsom
• On Liberty* by John Stuart Mill
• Percy Jackson, Lightening Thief (Book 1) by Rick Riordan
• Pride and Prejudice* by Jane Austen
  
• Pursuit of Honor by Vince Flynn
• Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis
• The Apostle by Brad Thor
  
• The Black Swan by Nassim Taleb
• The Brother's Karamazov* by Fyodor Dostoevsky
• The Communist Manifesto* by Karl Marx
• The Definitive Book of Body Language by Pease
• The Male Brain by Louann Brizendine
• The New Road to Serfdom by Daniel Hannan
• The Next 100 Years by George Friedman
  
• The Relationship Cure by John Gottman
• The Republic* by Plato
• Notes from the Tilt a Whirl by N.D. Wilson
• Two Treatises of Government* by John Locke
• War and Peace* by Leo Tolstoy

*Available free online through Google books, Amazon, or other sources.

Another Poem

My Father is so patient
So gentle and so kind
I am always loved by Him
He has me on His mind

He sent His Son to die for me
That through His death my sin
Is borne upon the cross and paid
So my life He might mend

By faith I’m saved in Jesus Christ
His power set me free
His resurrection life and love
Gives hope eternally

The death He died He died to sin
And so like Him I do
My flesh is crucified with Him
My heart and mind made new

With grateful heart and happy voice
I praise His holy name
Blessing, glory, honor, and power
That He remains the same

Oh wondrous love, oh great divine
That you my God would save
A wretch like me, a sinner bound
Your name I lift and praise

Today is new and with it comes
Temptations, flesh, and sin
In Christ my mind must be renewed
He says Abide in Him.

No longer law, no longer rule
No longer legal bound
But in relationship with Christ
Is where I am now found.

The Prodigal Son

Father, give my money to me
Inheritance as son to thee
For I can’t wait until you die
To distant lands with cash I fly.

Rebellious friends, enchanted foes
Exciting place, this land impose
What time have I with all of these
In carefree life, with total ease.

How dull, dreary, was life before
At home with Father, what a bore
My nights now late, my days so long
With each new day brings heightened throng.

The money flows, the friends crowd round
So popular, I’m to be found
Bartender give new friend a drink
Come join, this band, comp’ny I keep.

What’s this you say, my bank o’er drawn?
How can this be? My money gone!
Oh friends, may I borrow from thee
To pay the bar, my tab you see?

No cash to spare, have you for me
Where do all go, now friendless be
Outside I sit, where once I tread
And now next meal, I look in dread.

Farmer, oh help, or starve will I
I need a job, your pigs look dry.
Feed, water, care and in exchange
For bread and drink, to keep my name.

Now here I sit, in muddy ground
Filthy, covered, in pig slop mound
Only to eat, what’s left for swine
When formerly I used to dine.

At Father’s house, the slaves do eat
Better than I, this place my seat
Return will I, to beg for grace
Not as a son, but slave in place.

Far up ahead, my home I see
This speck now grows, what memories
Exhausted, sore, and hungry kept
My heart, in hope as quick I step.

Surprise the door flung open wide
Father, in tears, runs to my side
Embrace, my filthy body, he
New clothes, a ring, he puts on me.

Alas my son was lost but found
Prepare the calf, go trumpet sound
Rejoice alive and son shall be
Restored with love and grace is he.

Healing Issues, Part 2

In the previous post, I used the terms vertical and horizontal to separate two parts of the healing process that I wanted to discuss. I think better terms for the distinction would be two dimensions and three dimensions. The previous post was on what I said was horizontal, or better said, two dimensions, and in this one, I want to discuss the vertical, or a better term for it, three dimensions.

Think of a tear on a page. One can repair the page and the page is ready for use (the repair would still be evident). Likewise, it was previously stated that healing from different wounds that the heart takes allows us to live from more of our hearts, instead of avoiding or walling off certain areas.

Think of a book now. When one takes a knife and stabs a book, more than one page has been damaged, ripped, and torn. Likewise, with the heart, wounds don’t just affect one area or “page” in the heart. These wounds affect a great many areas. Perhaps our senses of identity, self, worth, love, belonging, independence, and others. Now our heart illustration looks something like this:

I want to comment on a couple of implications from the book/page illustration.

• Healing from a deep wound is not a simple or one-time process.
• Healing in the different areas of the heart will require different ‘fixes’.

Just as more than one page of a book needs repair, so too more than one area of the heart needs healing. However, unlike a book, where we can turn all the pages and see the damage to each page, the heart is much more complex and we are not able to see the impact all at once. We must be living in those areas in order for the impact to be evident. Take for example how much more “stuff” comes up when one is in a deeply committed relationship versus being single and unattached. It is because we are engaging more areas of the heart and some of those areas will have been damaged by wounds. What we thought we had “dealt with” is back; but it isn’t back because our healing previously was insufficient; it is because a multi-layered heart has multi-layered wounds. Healing is not simple because we are damaged in more than one area, and it is not one-time because we do not live from all areas at all times. Many times the areas of the heart that are damaged most are the ones used only when one is in a certain situation. Again, relationships are a great example. Sometimes the damage taken in a previous relationship may not come to the surface until the next one.

I cannot emphasize the importance of this truth in the healing process. We exclaim in frustration, “But I’ve already dealt with this!” and we move on and fail to understand the reality of that we are wounded in many layers and maybe this is a new layer we weren’t aware was damaged until now. You’ve found another damaged page! Don’t set an expectation on yourself that just because you’ve dealt with it now that there won’t be others areas where it might come up. The impact of a wound is impossible to fully understand and know because hearts are not visible, tangible items.

Different types of pages in a book will need to be repaired in different ways. Photo pages, text pages, pages with impressions, popup pages—each of these will require different repair techniques. Likewise, we will find that different areas of the heart need different healing steps and time needs. How I went about healing in one area may not work in another. The amount of time it takes in one area may not be the same time as another. It is important to give oneself understanding and flexibility as one walks through the healing processes that apply to the different areas of the heart.

It might feel discouraging to realize that wounds are not simple or easily fixable. Yet how much more is experienced by a three dimensional object versus a two? The pains are greater, but the joys even more so. Give yourself time, flexibility, and understanding in your healing process. Recognize that it is worth it, it will take time, probably come up more than once for a specific wound, and need different healing steps.