Healing Issues, Part 2

In the previous post, I used the terms vertical and horizontal to separate two parts of the healing process that I wanted to discuss. I think better terms for the distinction would be two dimensions and three dimensions. The previous post was on what I said was horizontal, or better said, two dimensions, and in this one, I want to discuss the vertical, or a better term for it, three dimensions.

Think of a tear on a page. One can repair the page and the page is ready for use (the repair would still be evident). Likewise, it was previously stated that healing from different wounds that the heart takes allows us to live from more of our hearts, instead of avoiding or walling off certain areas.

Think of a book now. When one takes a knife and stabs a book, more than one page has been damaged, ripped, and torn. Likewise, with the heart, wounds don’t just affect one area or “page” in the heart. These wounds affect a great many areas. Perhaps our senses of identity, self, worth, love, belonging, independence, and others. Now our heart illustration looks something like this:

I want to comment on a couple of implications from the book/page illustration.

• Healing from a deep wound is not a simple or one-time process.
• Healing in the different areas of the heart will require different ‘fixes’.

Just as more than one page of a book needs repair, so too more than one area of the heart needs healing. However, unlike a book, where we can turn all the pages and see the damage to each page, the heart is much more complex and we are not able to see the impact all at once. We must be living in those areas in order for the impact to be evident. Take for example how much more “stuff” comes up when one is in a deeply committed relationship versus being single and unattached. It is because we are engaging more areas of the heart and some of those areas will have been damaged by wounds. What we thought we had “dealt with” is back; but it isn’t back because our healing previously was insufficient; it is because a multi-layered heart has multi-layered wounds. Healing is not simple because we are damaged in more than one area, and it is not one-time because we do not live from all areas at all times. Many times the areas of the heart that are damaged most are the ones used only when one is in a certain situation. Again, relationships are a great example. Sometimes the damage taken in a previous relationship may not come to the surface until the next one.

I cannot emphasize the importance of this truth in the healing process. We exclaim in frustration, “But I’ve already dealt with this!” and we move on and fail to understand the reality of that we are wounded in many layers and maybe this is a new layer we weren’t aware was damaged until now. You’ve found another damaged page! Don’t set an expectation on yourself that just because you’ve dealt with it now that there won’t be others areas where it might come up. The impact of a wound is impossible to fully understand and know because hearts are not visible, tangible items.

Different types of pages in a book will need to be repaired in different ways. Photo pages, text pages, pages with impressions, popup pages—each of these will require different repair techniques. Likewise, we will find that different areas of the heart need different healing steps and time needs. How I went about healing in one area may not work in another. The amount of time it takes in one area may not be the same time as another. It is important to give oneself understanding and flexibility as one walks through the healing processes that apply to the different areas of the heart.

It might feel discouraging to realize that wounds are not simple or easily fixable. Yet how much more is experienced by a three dimensional object versus a two? The pains are greater, but the joys even more so. Give yourself time, flexibility, and understanding in your healing process. Recognize that it is worth it, it will take time, probably come up more than once for a specific wound, and need different healing steps.