Acceptance

About six months ago I was told by my therapist that the difficulties in my interactions with my dad were my fault.  Now, I had not seen or talked to my dad for seven years, but my therapist's comment was in reference to some of what had happened many years ago.  The short version is that as I grew older and began to develop my own ideas and opinions that were (in some cases, very) different from what my dad thought, he and I had more and more conflict.  Needless to say, this statement by my therapist came as quite a shock and completely stopped my mental train of thought.  How is it my fault?  After all, dad's supposed to be the adult!

And that is when I was told something that has been life-changing to me.  "Your problems in how you related to your dad were a failure on your part to accept your dad as he is.  You expected your dad to be an objective, unselfish father and that is simply not who he is."  In short, I had failed to accept my dad for who he was and is.  In the last several months, I have come to believe that this statement is not only true, but that acceptance is one of the most important ingredients in successful relationships and in personal growth.  A tremendous amount of pain in our interactions with other people may very well be rooted in our lack of acceptance for who those people are.

At first, I had a very difficult time accepting my therapist's statement.  I wanted a relationship with my dad that would support objective dialogue.  I learned in this difficulty that part of acceptance of another person will involve a mourning of the expectations as they are let go.  I had to learn to accept that the kind of relationship with my dad that I had hoped to have was not to be, but that by accepting him for who he was, we could have a relationship with one another (instead of none at all).  And that is what has happened.  I saw my dad for the first time on New Year's Eve, and applied this concept to our interaction.  I have seen him again and exchanged several emails over the last several months and our interaction has been very positive.  It has been positive in part because I have released my expectations for what I wanted him to be and instead have accepted him for who he is.  This has meant that I steer the conversation clear of certain areas, knowing that he cannot be objective in discussing them.  It means that I accept the fact that I will not receive his approval for certain actions or beliefs I have, and thus there is no point in asking for that approval.  This has been liberating.

You might be thinking that this sounds like a lot of work on my part; that the interaction with him isn't that great because I have to avoid certain topics, that he isn't being what a "real dad ought to be".  Well, it is a lot of work on my part, but it is work I am willing to do (for reasons I hope to discuss further at some point).  As for the interaction not being "great", what do we define as "great", except what we set forth in our expectations of others?  A dad being a "great dad" implies that he is exceeding a set of expectations that one has of what a "good dad" would be.  These expectations may not be realistic and if they do not match the person we compare them too, we have failed to accept the person.  What I am saying is that "great" is relative and when it comes to people, long-term positive interaction occurs as we learn to accept others as they are, instead of holding them to an unrealistic standard of what we want them to be, expect them to be, or think they 'should' be.  In practicality for me, it has meant that I significantly reduce what I expect of my dad, which then leads to having a form of positive interaction with him that is mutually beneficial.

Let me repeat again that acceptance is one of the most important ingredients to successful interaction with other people, whether this interaction takes places in friendships, family circles, or the closest type of interaction, marriage.  On the surface, it seems simple, but doing it is really hard.  Expecting someone to be on time when they are habitually late may not be realistic to who they are.  Expecting someone to do something your way instead of the way they do it may not be consistent with their personality.  It may not be the way you do it, but they aren't you (I have to remind myself of this one constantly!).  I didn't and still don't realize all of the places where this has an impact.  Do I accept this person for who they are now or am I expecting them to change, in some way, either in the short or long-term?

 

Christ and Growth

In the movie Prince Caspian, when Lucy sees Aslan for the first time, she is surprised that he is bigger.  Aslan replies, "Every year you grow, so will I."  This statement struck a chord deep within me, as I thought about how this applies to life.

As a child, the music I heard sounded nice; as an adult, I understand more of the form and structure that gives music its melody, harmony, and rhythm.  As a child, I saw the relationship between a man and a woman as a simple arrangement that people do; as an adult, I now see it as a lifetime transformation into oneness and unity with another human being.  Baby formula tasted good for me as a baby, but now a juicy steak is one that satisfies both the palette and appetite.  As I grow older, the size of my world grows in height, depth, and width.

But the greatest joy of all is that Christ has grown throughout all of this.  The Lord I know today is so much bigger than the one I knew several years ago.  Each day He grows larger as I learn more about Him.  Christ is not static and fixed, but alive and walking with me as I grow.  Even better, much of what I was told about Him has been changed, modified, or eliminated as He has brought me into deeper relationship with Himself.

I think perhaps the truth is not that Christ grows as I grow, but that Christ has humbled Himself for me—so that I might come to know Him in my finite, limited form.  It is not He that grows, but me, in that my eyes are continuously opened to a little more of what He has always been.

Post DTS First Semester

I finished the Intro to Theology class I have been taking at DTS this semester and have been reflecting on how different it was from what I expected and what changes have taken place because of it. I was scared of going to DTS, for fear that it would be a return to a religious dogmatism that for so long I've been walking away from. I expected DTS to be like my dad and was guarded and defensive going into the semester. I was not and am not interested in being brainwashed into the "Christianese" way of thinking, where you are a good boy or girl if you always start your sentences with "the Bible says…" And yet for a long time I have wanted to take some Bible classes and deepen my understanding of Scripture. My attitude was: "If this is anything like I think it might be (closed-minded, dogmatic, 'thus saith the Lord'), I'll be sad that the door was closed but I won't continue." Well, I have been very surprised in my experience at DTS. It's difficult to put into words what I feel about it now. I feel like this class introduced me to some concepts that have made the gospel of Christ more relevant and life-giving. I'd go so far to say that the Lord has given me hope. I suppose most Christians in every age have struggled with this question: how is the Bible and Christianity relevant to my culture, in my time, in this place; and yet also relevant to your culture, and in your place, and perhaps even in a different time? Does what the Bible says apply both literally and globally, without variation due to culture? I admit I expected the DTS answer to be YES! To the praise of Christ, it was not! The answer is more like: it depends (more to come on this in the future)!

If you have done any construction, there is quite a lot of preparation of the ground before any concrete can be poured. I expected my DTS experience to be like trying to construct a house without a foundation. The approach to "Christian truth" I was trained in by my parents was riddled with holes. It's a house built on a lot of sand. I was worried that DTS would only mix some clay with the sand and tell me to join the people saying the emperor's clothes were amazing. "But Dad, he's NAKED!" Instead, a crane was brought in, the house was lifted off the sand, trenches dug, pipes laid, pilings dug, and framing for the foundation has been laid. And while it is making a mess, it is a mess that I am excited about! I'm not sure what to expect, but I like what I've seen so far!

There is a scene in the first Lord of the Rings movies where Galdalf is leading the Fellowship through the dark, underground caverns of Moria, the dwarven city. He decided he can "spare a little more light in here" and as his walking stick starts to shine brighter it reveals an enormous cavern with pillars as far as the eye can see. The Fellowship gasps in amazement at the magnificence and enormity of it all. Rather than hitting the bottom and being disappointed with the shallow insufficiency of it all, what I learned this semester has expanded my horizons and made me realize Christ is so much more!

Financial Regulations

From this article on Yahoo Finance (my emphasis):

 

Wall Street profits could take a big hit if the government toughens regulations in a proposed overhaul of the U.S. financial system, the manager of the world's biggest bond fund said on Monday.

Gross referred to these Wall Street firms as "shadow banks" because they have raised billions in the capital markets, rather from savings and traditional lending. Less stringent regulations had allowed Wall Street to make riskier and more profitable bets than commercial banks.

This "shadow banking system," which consists of all the levered investment conduits, vehicles and structures created by Wall Street, is now facing liquidity constraints.

"Shadow banks will likely be forced to raise expensive capital and/or reduce the bottom line footings of their balance sheets," he said.

I tend to not be for government regulations, but in this instance I am all for them.  This is complaining that if the government toughens the regulations, then the investment bankers will have to have more capital (cash, real wealth) and less levered (debt) investments!  My response to this complaint:

 

Tough.

Contentment

The country song below expresses the value of contentment and maximizing the now.  I am not very good about either, having a tendency to be more like the girl in the song, thinking that I'll be ok "when...".  A game I played as a kid called Character Clues defined contentment in a way I have never forgotten: "Realizing that God has provided all of my needs for my present happiness."

Trace Adkins You're Gonna Miss This

She was starin' out the window of that SUV
Complainin' sayin' I can't wait to turn 18
She said I'll make my own money and I'll make my own roots
Mama put the car in park out there in front of the school
and she kissed her head and said I was just like you

You're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this

Before she knows it she's a brand new bride
In her one bedroom apartment and her daddy stops by
He tells her it's a nice place, she says it'll do for now
Starts talkin' about babies and buyin' a house
Daddy shakes his face and says Baby just slow down

Cuz you're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times so take a good look around
You may not know it now but you're gonna miss this

Five years later there's a plummer workin' on the water heater,
Dogs barkin' phones ringin' one kid's cryin' one kid's screamin',
And she keeps apologizing, he says they don't bother me I got 2 babies of my own one's 36 one's 23 it's hard to believe

But you're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times so take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this
You're gonna miss this
Yeah, you're gonna miss this

The Fed and Gas Prices

Over the last year gas prices have increased significantly.  As easy as it is to blame greed or even the war in Iraq for the gas problems, the primary culprit is the weakening dollar due to the Fed's economic activity.  Ultimately, the falling value of the dollar contributes to increasing the price for foreign goods (such as oil) because it takes more dollars to buy the same goods.  Why is the dollar falling?  The Fed has been aggressively cutting interest rates to attempt to prevent a recession.  Lower interest rates mean that an investor earns less on their investments then before (anyone seen their interest rates on savings accounts lately?) and thus US-securities become less attractive.  Furthermore, the Fed has been dumping billions of dollars of liquidity into the system to attempt to keep the credit crisis from affecting the economy as a whole (which has not been successful).  Two days ago the Fed announced a $200 billion dollar injection to trade the bad debt of banks for dollars.  They created this money out of nothing.  You can't do that without dropping the value of money by the same amount.  And sure enough, what happened.  Within two days oil rose 10%, is now above $110/barrel, and the Euro is now above $1.55..

 

In short:

 

Cutting interest rates makes the dollar less valuable

Dumping billions of dollars of "new money" reduces the value of the dollar

Therefore, weakening dollar equals increased prices for foreign goods (not to mention the soon-to-be increases in domestic goods)

 

What is disturbing about all of this is that the Fed is attempting to protect the economy from the consequences of poor decisions, instead of letting the market adjust itself.  If a bank was unwise in its lending activity (read, made poor business decisions), natural consequences take over.  If we try to interfere with those, it just makes things worse in the long run.  By dumping money and lowering interest rates, the Fed is playing a very dangerous (and stupid) game in an attempt to stop something that is happening.  It will just make things worse and the recovery longer.  I understand that much of it is political, but it is still stupid.  Politics and economics are not a good mix.

Politics in Oil

From this article (my emphasis):

The world economy could get some help with the arrival of a new U.S. president, and possibly a new economic policy, "and with this new situation it is very probable that the dollar will start to recover and thus permit a readjustment of the (oil) market," El Moudjahid quoted him as saying.

OPEC members meeting in Vienna last week decided to hold production flat, insisting markets were well supplied and blaming record prices on factors outside the group's control, including speculators and what Khelil called the "mismanagement" of the U.S. economy.

This is very disturbing. I read this statement as saying something along the lines of:

Unless there is a presidential change in the November elections which changes the US economic policy to continue its dependence on the oil we provide (as opposed to seeking alternate energy source), the oil prices will continue to rise.

Not cool.

Division

I have been reading in 1 Corinthians and came across the following passage in chapter 1:10-13:

I appeal to you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another so that there may be no divisions among you and that you may be perfectly united in mind and thought. My brothers, some from Chloe's household have informed me that there are quarrels among you. What I mean is this: One of you says, "I follow Paul"; another, "I follow Apollos"; another, "I follow Cephas"; still another, "I follow Christ."

Is Christ divided? Was Paul crucified for you? Were you baptized into the name of Paul?

Paul is being slightly ironic here and how appropriate. Did Paul die, are you baptized in Paul's name? Who is important -- the one who baptizes you, or the one in Who's name you are baptized? It is so easy to get caught up in the person we can see and forget the one in in Whom we worship. I find I do this all the time -- I focus on the sermon or person and forget that life in Christ is about life in Christ. In Christ!

Surrender

Surrender is an activity Christ has really been working on in my heart these last few months. I previously posted on dying to self, and as I read a book by Ken Gire called The Divine Embrace, it came up again.

“At the Cross we see how Jesus lost his life and something of how we are to lose ours. It was his responsibility to die. It was the Father’s responsibility to resurrect him. To us has been given a similar responsibility. Not to bring life out of death. But to die. Our responsibility is to surrender. The result of our surrender is not our responsibility. Understanding the truth of that has been liberating. It has also been sobering, because dying is the ultimate surrender of control… What if in our daily lives we start living like Jesus did?—dying to ourselves, giving of ourselves, surrendering ourselves… and God doesn’t come through for us? What if he overlooks our surrender? What if he doesn’t resurrect those moments of faith when we place the results in his hands, to do with what he pleases, when he pleases? What then?

Then we wait in the tomb another day. [!!!]
And another, if necessary.
For as many days as God appoints.

Because our days are in his hands, not ours… [and] all the resurrections of the daily deaths to which we surrender ourselves.” (pages 207-208, my emphasis)

My immediate reaction to this is “No way! You want me to wait another day/week/month/year?! It stinks in here!” But God is not primarily interested in making my nose happy, but conforming me into the likeness of Jesus Christ, and the example Christ set is one of dying to self. Why? “For if you are living according to the flesh, you must die; but if by the Spirit you are putting to death the deeds of the body, you will live.” (Romans 8:13) What must die is the flesh, that “wretched man that I am”. What must die is every part of me that is not conformed to the will of the Father. What did Paul say in Galatians 2:21? “I have been crucified with Christ and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me…”

I am reminded of the words of Job: “Though He slay me, I will hope in Him” (Job 13:15a)

Tax Incentive

From this article:

Under the agreement announced by the White House, Boehner and Pelosi, individual taxpayers would get up to $600 in rebates, working couples $1,200 and those with children an additional $300 per child. In a key concession to Democrats, 35 million families who make at least $3,000 but don't pay taxes would get $300 rebates. [my emphasis]

Reread the emphasized part. Families who do not pay any taxes are going to receive $300. This is ridiculous. The government is taking money taxpayers have paid into the system and giving it to people who do not pay any taxes.

Heath Ledger

I saw on the news that Heath Ledger died a couple of days ago, possibly from a drug overdose. This saddens me. Here is a man who had what we might perceive as 'everything' and yet his life ended in such tragedy. What comes to mind is the following statement by Christ:

For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? (Matt. 16:26)

Dying to Self

One of the books I am currently reading is called The Road Less Travelled. This is one of the most challenging books I have ever read, primarily because the author does not beat around the bush, but is very straight forward and honest. He shares an excellent example of what it means for different parts of the self to die in order to embrace where one is at in life. In the Balancing chapter, the author recounts a story of playing chess with his 14 year old daughter who was very disciplined at going to bed by 9 PM on weekdays. She had been wanting to play for a long time and was very excited about the game. The evening wore on and it started to get close to when she wanted to go to bed so she asked her dad to hurry the game up. He thought she was a bit too rigid about her bedtime and so insisted they keep playing, because "you shouldn't start games that you can't finish." After playing for another ten minutes, his daughter burst into tears and ran upstairs. He says, "I started the evening wanting to have a happy time with my daughter. Ninety minutes later she was in tears and so angry at me she could hardly speak. What had gone wrong?.. I had botched the evening by allowing my desire to win a chess game become more important than my desire to build a relationship with my daughter… Gradually it dawned on me that my desire to win was too great and that I needed to give up some of this desire." Here is where the dying of different parts of the self comes in. What does one do with this? Do you go explain to your daughter the importance of finishing a game—which would be ridiculous, but the thing an insensitive parent who is unwilling to change would do. "I have given up part of my desire to win at games. That part of me is gone now. It died. It had to die. I killed it… When I was a child my desire to win at games served me well. As a parent, I recognized that it got in my way. So it had to go. The times have changed. To move with them I had to give it up. I do not miss it. I thought I would, but I don't." (pages 67-69)

I love the above quote, especially when he states that for a time, his desire served him well, but now, it got in the way, and it had to go. There are many things that at different points in our lives has served us well. But do they serve us well now or are they hindrances to our growth? Does your/my desire to win get in the way of enjoying other people (and they enjoying us)? Do I really need to feel that I have to have everything figured out in order to be safe—understanding that for a time, that knowledge did serve me well, but no longer does? Ultimately, the point here applies to anything in our lives that gets in the way of us becoming people who are free of our own chains. "I can't", "I have to", "I must", "I should"—these are all common, useful phrases that reflect limitations and desires that have served us well. But do they serve you and me well now?

"When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things." (1 Cor. 13:11)

The "D" Word

Dispensationalism. I just finished a book by that title this morning, which is the last of the seven I had to read for a class I am taking at DTS. Wait, don't stop reading! This post may not be what you think it is about to be. I found the material presented in the previous books to be very interesting, relevant, and thought-provoking. This last book was, in a word, boring. I felt frustrated reading this book because I felt like it was splitting hairs. So, I have analyzed my feelings and frustration towards this and have a few thoughts to share.

I am just as guilty as anyone for splitting hairs over theological subjects (and for that matter, any subject). I have a love-hate relationship with debating. I love it for the mental exercise it gives, but hate it because it can be so divisive and emotional, not to mention I don't like being wrong. Sadly, I (and probably most humans) have a tendency to build a good part of my self-worth based on how I think I am being perceived by others and I feel it necessary to "help" that perception by coming across as "smart" and "right". That being said, I don't think the author of the book (Ryrie) wrote it because of this.

Let me say, to the disagreement of some, that I agree with the material presented in the book. But, and here is the question I have been pondering for some time now: to what end? What does this subject add or subtract to my life practically? It changes nothing of my belief in the person and work of Jesus Christ. It changes nothing in how I am to relate to fellow believers. I was tired after reading the book, not because it challenged me mentally, but because it was so nit-picky.

This question (To what end?) has been very convicting to me because it has provided a good look at how much time I waste, in the words of Christ, "straining out the knat but swallowing the camel." (Matt. 23:24) Jesus said this in context of condemning the religious leaders of His day, who focused on the letter of the law, to the neglect of "the weightier provisions of the law: justice and mercy and faithfulness." (Matt. 23:23)

Thus, I follow this with another question to myself: what is my purpose of going to DTS? If I am not growing in my relationship with Jesus Christ and in loving His people through this experience, then it profits me nothing (1 Cor. 13:2). If it serves to give me more material to buttress my position with and finer strands of hair to split, it is wasting my time. This is not to say the study of Scripture is pointless. I love how Vincent Van Gogh put it: "You read books to borrow therefrom the force to stimulate your activity… but I read books searching for the man who has written them." In my reading and studying the Bible, am I searching for the God who wrote it? Are you?

Dad

I met my dad for lunch on Monday. This was the first time I have seen him in seven years. No, that is not a typo. Seven years.

My thoughts and feelings towards it are different from what I expected. I had built this up for so long in my head that I suppose the idea of meeting him contributed to being an obstacle to actually meeting him. Reality is quite different from what is envisioned and I continue to learn this truth the longer I live. In other words, what I think versus what is, which therefore requires me to change my thinking to conform with what is real!

I don't regret the time it has taken to be at this place. If anything, it is another sign that healing has taken place and I praise God for this work in my life. I will say, that use of the word 'never' is not really a good idea, because God specializes in making the never happen.

One of my biggest questions now is: where do I go from here?

Peer-Reviewed Research

This article on peer-reviewed research methods caught my eye. This quote from the article sums up the subjectivity of the claim to validity based on a "peer-reviewed" status:

Couldn't a group of individuals committed to promoting their own research -- which may or may not be well-founded -- get together to form their own "journal," which they could legitimately claim publishes "peer-reviewed research"?

They can, and they do.

Chesterton

I love this quote:

But the new rebel is a skeptic, and will not entirely trust anything. He has no loyalty; therefore he can never be really a revolutionist. And the fact that he doubts everything really gets in his way when he wants to denounce anything. For all denunciation implies a moral doctrine of some kind; and the modern revolutionist doubts not only the institution he denounces, but the doctrine by which he denounces it. Thus he writes one book complaining that imperial oppression insults the purity of women, and then he writes another book in which he insults it himself. He curses the Sultan because Christian girls lose their virginity, and then curses Mrs. Grundy because they keep it. As a politician, he will cry out that war is a waste of life, and then, as a philosopher, that all life is waste of time. A Russian pessimist will denounce a policeman for killing a peasant, and then prove by the highest philosophical principles that the peasant ought to have killed himself. A man denounces marriage as a lie, and then denounces aristocratic profligates for treating it as a lie. He calls a flag a bauble, and then blames the oppressors of Poland or Ireland because they take away that bauble. The man of this school goes first to a political meeting, where he complains that savages are treated as if they were beasts; then he takes his hat and umbrella and goes on to a scientific meeting, where he proves that they practically are beasts. In short, the modern revolutionist, being an infinite skeptic, is always engaged in undermining his own mines. In his book on politics he attacks men for trampling on morality; in his book on ethics he attacks morality for trampling on men. Therefore the modern man in revolt has become practically useless for all purposes of revolt. By rebelling against everything he has lost his right to rebel against anything. (from G.K. Chesterton, Orthodoxy)

Credit Bail Out

I agree with writer of this article. I will go further and say that it is not the job of the government to save people when they make poor decisions. Actions have consequences. Sometimes those consequences are not pleasant. But that is part of life. This attitude that the government will/should take care of me is simply wrong. You are responsible for your own life. Be responsible!

Discernment

Discerning what is true can be very difficult at times. I have so many "voices" that speak when I think about my wants, needs, or desires. There are many sources of these "voices": fear, pride, masks, false selves, lies, wounds, selfishness, and the "real self". How does one discern which voice is "real"? How do I cut through all the lies, masks, falsehood, and sin and discover the "truth"? I do not mean that I am searching for some truth that applies to everyone, but finding what is really true about what I want or need. This is not an easy thing.

I am not an expert on this and in fact struggle greatly with finding my real wants and needs. I tend to overanalyze everything and in doing so, the "voices" are all clamoring to be heard and acted upon. I want to think about some practical ways that I can go about filtering through these voices to find the real me.

Pray

Ask for the Holy Spirit to guide me in discerning what is true and what is false. Ask for wisdom and strength as I dig through and sift through the voices to find what is true.

Identify what is false

What do I know is false? What have I in the past identified as false? Statements that are or have been identified as false can be discarded. In order to do so, it is helpful to create rational responses that can quickly address the falsehood. For example, there is a statement that frequently speaks that says, "You don't like to travel." My response is: "I don't like certain aspects about travel, but it does not mean I don't like the entire thing."

Talk to others

There is nothing like talking to someone else to get their point of view. So many times I find I am blind and can't see from a different angle and an outside point of view is so helpful for me to discover what I am searching for. This person is one that I trust completely and is familiar with my situation or struggle.

Write it down

Sometimes there are so many different voices that it is helpful to write it all out. I have been shocked to actually see in writing what my mind was thinking. Many times the lies and falsehood are very evident when they are seen (when brought to sunlight).

Carefully ask questions

I have learned through therapy that when trying to identify what I want or need, I ask the voices questions and keep asking to discover their source. Is the voice speaking from who I am or is it a mask? Is it what I really want, or is it only a wounded cry? In my travel example, I might ask: "Why do you make the statement you do not like travel?", "What aspects of travel do you like, if any?", "What travel experiences have been positive for you?", "Do you really dislike travel, or is there something else here -- a mask or false self that is presenting itself?", "When did your travel 'preference' change?"

Act

This is my least favorite. How can I act until I am sure? I am discovering that sometimes, I have to act on what I know now, so that I can have the new perspective on the other side of the action. I've struggled greatly with decisions before, some especially very recent, and it hasn't been until I've been on the other side that I was able to see what I could not see.

Light and Darkness

I have a quote by C.S. Lewis on my wall at home that says:

I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.

John writes in 1:4 that "In Christ was life and the life was the light of men." The picture I would like for you to imagine is that of a man (or woman) walking around without any light. How is this person going to know where he or she is going? How can they give directions to other people who exist in the darkness too? How is this person going to understand what certain objects look like if they have never seen before? This is the state of an individual before Christ enters his or her life.

"The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness does not understand it." (John 1:5) I forget the following all the time: How can a non-Christian person be expected to live like a Christian? How can someone who exists in darkness be expected to see anything? I can point out all day long what I see, but without the light of Christ in the other person's life, they simply won't be able to see it.

Now, this on the surface seems very arrogant, but please understand this next point. Your world view will determine not only what you see but how you see it. Let's go back to our darkness example and pretend there is a lion in the room. Our person finds this lion and thinks it is a soft, warm animal. But if the light is turned on, the person might find the lion preparing for dinner! What was thought to be safe and good is now perceived to be dangerous! This is true for any world view, be it Christianity, humanism, evolution, etc. And don't misunderstand: Christianity is not just a religion. A relationship with Jesus Christ will change everything!

I do believe that the analogy Lewis suggests above is exactly correct and I have found that to be so in my life. There have been many things that before coming to Christ didn't make a whole lot of sense, but now that I am in a relationship with Him, I can see what I missed before. Until given sight, I wasn't able to see. Not that life with Christ makes everything clear -- there are still a great many things I don't understand, nor do I think I will understand. What I have found is that sometimes understanding is not what is important, but simply loving. I suspect many husbands would tell you they have found this to be true with their wives -- they don't understand them, but it doesn't matter, they love them. I think Lewis talks about this in Mere Christianity.

A person living in darkness may have decided to wear armor because of the bumps, scrapes, and pain that has been experienced without light. And this person may think someone crazy who comes up and says the armor isn't needed! Of course it's crazy -- if you can't see anything. But when light fills your world, when you are given sight, what a difference it makes!

Thus, and this is more for me than anyone else, I need to remember what darkness was like. I need to remember my former state and consider the impossibility of expecting a blind person to see. Unless Christ turns the light on in their heart, they won't. Screaming at them (figuratively or literally), trying to stop them, trying to explain things to them simply won't work. It is Christ, the light of men, who gives life and makes a blind man see.

Enchanted

I saw the movie Enchanted twice this weekend. Yes, it was that good! Fantastic movie! I highly recommend going to see it. I think it will be up for several nominations, including film score, screenplay, and perhaps actress.

One thing that I noticed was how innocent fairy tales are. It made me wonder what exactly the fairy tale women do on the night of their marriage to Prince Charming. I mean, the entire romantic ideal is leading up to this perfect kiss and dance. And let me tell you, there's a whole lot more than that going to happen on the wedding night! The thought made me laugh. Can you imagine how shocked Cinderella and Snow White were? Happily ever after might just be preceded by "You want me to WHAT?!"