Wednesday, October 31, 2007
East to West
Casting Crowns has a new CD out and their song East to West is amazing:
I have highlighted some of the words that really stick out to me. My greatest fear is to become like my dad, a man overwhelmed by fear. This song speaks very deeply to my heart about the change and hope that is in Jesus Christ.
East To West - Casting Crowns
Here I am Lord and I'm drowning, in Your sea of forgetfulness
The chains of yesterday surround me, I yearn for peace and rest
I don't want to end up where You found me
And it echoes in my mind
Keeps me awake tonight
I know you've cast my sin as far as the East is from the West
And I stand before You now as though I've never sinned
But today I feel like I'm just one mistake away
From You leaving me this way
Chorus:
Jesus can you show me just how far the east is from the west
'Cause I can't bear to see the man I've been
Rising up in me again
In the arms of Your mercy I find rest
'Cause You know just how far the east is from the west
From one scarred hand to the other
I start the day, the war begins
Endless reminding of my sin
And time and time again
Your truth is drowned out by the storm I'm in
Today I feel like I'm just one mistake away
from You leaving me this way
I know You've washed me white
Turn my darkness into life
I need Your peace to get me through
To get me through this night
I can't live by what I feel
About the truth Your word reveals
I'm not holding on to You
But You're holding on to me
You're holding on to me
Jesus You know just how far the east is from the west
I don't have to see the man I've been rising up in me again
In your arms of Your mercy I find rest
cause You know how far the east is from the west
from one scarred hand to the other
I have highlighted some of the words that really stick out to me. My greatest fear is to become like my dad, a man overwhelmed by fear. This song speaks very deeply to my heart about the change and hope that is in Jesus Christ.
Monday, October 29, 2007
Stupid
Well, I noted a couple of weeks ago that Apple needs to get its act together on allowing the consumer to do what they want with what they buy. And yet, here they go, continuing their stupidity.
Friday, October 26, 2007
Article
I thought this was a good article that Pastor Andy sent out today, especially the following quote:
http://blogs.usatoday.com/oped/2007/10/a-christian-fou.html
Nietzsche argued that since the Christian God is the foundation of Western values, the death of God must necessarily mean the erosion and ultimate collapse of those values. Remove the base and the whole building will slowly crumble. For a while, Nietzsche conceded, people would out of custom or habit continue to respect human life and treat people with equal dignity, but eventually there would be ferocious assaults on these values, and practices once unthinkable such as the killing of people deemed inferior or undesirable would once again occur. This is precisely what we have seen in our time, and Nietzsche predicted that it will only get worse.
http://blogs.usatoday.com/oped/2007/10/a-christian-fou.html
Friday, October 19, 2007
Discerning Truth
A few days ago I noted that I wanted to post on discerning truth. This topic has been bothering me for a while, and I wanted to share my frustration and thoughts about it.
When I say discerning truth, I mean determining what is true and what is not. We live in an information age, and we are bombarded daily with expert after expert making statements that make the truth claim. And yet with all of these can't be true at the same time, because many of them contradict each other. We have studies that suggest that gender is physical and others that suggest that gender is sociological. Which is right? Is it reasonable to expect that one of the choices must be right?
It seems to me that one needs to develop a great ability to accept change, because what is believed to be true today may not be tomorrow. At one time, the earth was thought to be the center of the solar system; now, the sun is believed to be the center. As scientific discoveries are made, some things are proven to be true, others are proven false, and still others are shown to be partially true or false.
In addition to further discoveries, this is great disagreement on what is accepted at true. One cannot prove or disprove evolution or creation. This statement might be met with much disagreement, but we simply do not have proven evidence that proves one or the other (by this I mean a definite repeatable experiment that shows that chance changed the actual species of a living organism, or that God created the world). And so great arguments arise because (at least in my view) people are arguing on different foundations. If I accept studies X, Y, and Z as true, and you accept studies A, B, and C as true, and neither of us agree with the other's accepted studies, an honest discussion is pointless, aside from debating for the fun of it.
So much of what we accept as truth is really theory, perhaps very good theory, but ultimately theory. And the basis for truth seems to change constantly because different people and groups have different standards for deciding that something is true. For example, after reading a book on the female brain, the author convinced me that gender is genetic, because I define it as a physical thing. But my basis is the sperm's chromosomes and the testosterone explosion that happens in the sixth week of gestation. Another person may define gender in terms of non-physical attributes, such as mental attitudes or leanings. Thus, an argument over gender is rather useless until some sort of common ground can be reached on what will be accepted as true.
Thus, I am left feeling very frustrated, because how is one to have an open, honest discussion? You come from your point of view and I come from mine. Until we each understand where the other is coming from and what basis the other person is coming from, what you certainly won't have is good discussion.
One final thought and I am done. It is a silly thing for Christians to demand that non-believers accept the Bible as the basis for truth. It isn't productive to begin at that place. It's like trying to sail a ship on land.
When I say discerning truth, I mean determining what is true and what is not. We live in an information age, and we are bombarded daily with expert after expert making statements that make the truth claim. And yet with all of these can't be true at the same time, because many of them contradict each other. We have studies that suggest that gender is physical and others that suggest that gender is sociological. Which is right? Is it reasonable to expect that one of the choices must be right?
It seems to me that one needs to develop a great ability to accept change, because what is believed to be true today may not be tomorrow. At one time, the earth was thought to be the center of the solar system; now, the sun is believed to be the center. As scientific discoveries are made, some things are proven to be true, others are proven false, and still others are shown to be partially true or false.
In addition to further discoveries, this is great disagreement on what is accepted at true. One cannot prove or disprove evolution or creation. This statement might be met with much disagreement, but we simply do not have proven evidence that proves one or the other (by this I mean a definite repeatable experiment that shows that chance changed the actual species of a living organism, or that God created the world). And so great arguments arise because (at least in my view) people are arguing on different foundations. If I accept studies X, Y, and Z as true, and you accept studies A, B, and C as true, and neither of us agree with the other's accepted studies, an honest discussion is pointless, aside from debating for the fun of it.
So much of what we accept as truth is really theory, perhaps very good theory, but ultimately theory. And the basis for truth seems to change constantly because different people and groups have different standards for deciding that something is true. For example, after reading a book on the female brain, the author convinced me that gender is genetic, because I define it as a physical thing. But my basis is the sperm's chromosomes and the testosterone explosion that happens in the sixth week of gestation. Another person may define gender in terms of non-physical attributes, such as mental attitudes or leanings. Thus, an argument over gender is rather useless until some sort of common ground can be reached on what will be accepted as true.
Thus, I am left feeling very frustrated, because how is one to have an open, honest discussion? You come from your point of view and I come from mine. Until we each understand where the other is coming from and what basis the other person is coming from, what you certainly won't have is good discussion.
One final thought and I am done. It is a silly thing for Christians to demand that non-believers accept the Bible as the basis for truth. It isn't productive to begin at that place. It's like trying to sail a ship on land.
Monday, October 15, 2007
Apple and iPhone
Yet another example of a company trying to control and lock down its consumers, to it's own hurt. In the technology industry, you don't lock down anything, unless you want a bunch of pissed off consumers. Apple needs to quit trying to prevent nerds from being nerds and embrace an open source concept that encourages innovation.
Oh the hypocrisy
So Al Gore won a Nobel for his environmental crap. And yet, as this article points out, his actions don't match his words.
It is my opinion that the environmental movement is ultimately about control, not about what is really true. This brings up another point which I hope to post in very soon, which is about discerning truth.
It is my opinion that the environmental movement is ultimately about control, not about what is really true. This brings up another point which I hope to post in very soon, which is about discerning truth.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
MP3 Music Downloads
Amazon has opened its DRM-free music store! You may download
music from its store that is not copy protected, and it is in 256 kbps! Here is what Amazon says:
music from its store that is not copy protected, and it is in 256 kbps! Here is what Amazon says:* Selection: Every day we add new music to our collection of over 2 million songs from independent and major label artists. We're continually working with music labels to offer more and more content in the MP3 format.Visit amazon.com.
* Quality: Our MP3 tracks are encoded at 256 kbps, which gives you high-quality audio at a reasonable file size. This means your music sounds great and downloads quickly.
* Freedom: Because we sell MP3 files with absolutely no rights management software, you're free to listen to your music on any device you'd like.
* Value: Amazon MP3 offers high-quality DRM-free downloads at low prices. Find full albums as low as $4.99 and tracks as low as 89 cents.
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
I am an idiot
I was reading my brother's blog and he made a statement that caught my attention. In reference to what my dad taught us as children, he said: "I am a [huge] idiot for ever believing in all that [trash]." This is a statement I have made before, so I understand where he is coming from. I want to walk through some of the things I have learned through my healing process. Perhaps it will be beneficial to others.
In her excellent book, Becoming Real, Dr. Saltz argues that our childhood stories hold us back from becoming real, authentic, adult individuals. We create our childhood stories in order to survive and harmonize what we experience as we grow up. Let me give you an example:
Stage 1: I am not worth being heard because there is something wrong with me.
Stage 2: My parents were idiots and morons and I hate them. (we have identified that the fault is the dad's, not ours and then we switch our anger)
Stage 3: My parents are imperfect and probably have stories of their own they never dealt with.
Stage 1
We must identify the story and the source of the story -- why do I think this way? What was communicated to me, verbally or non-verbally, in my childhood? Who communicated it to me? What happened that caused it to be communicated to me? What am I believing about myself that may not be true? I identify the story, "Something is wrong with me", and then I identify the story's source, "Dad wouldn't listen to me." Once we have identified both, we can then check our conclusion. Just because dad wouldn't listen to me doesn't mean something is wrong with me. Maybe something is wrong with him ! And so we move to...
Stage 2
The years of anger and frustration we have aimed at ourselves comes boiling out at the people who have hurt us. All this time we have felt the fault is ours. We have discovered we were lied too, or treated horribly. The appropriate anger over this is felt and finally directed (sometimes verbally) at the culprit (and not us). Instead of feeling self-loathing, the daughter now feels anger and hurt from the words spoken to her by her dad. She is angry at him because of how he treated her as a child, and for just cause! I have said before that wounds must be felt before they can be healed. This is a very necessary and important part of the healing process. The caution here is when and if to express this to the parent. The daughter may decide not to discuss this with her dad, either because he is unavailable, or would not be receptive. What matters is that she finally identifies the person who was wrong and charges them with the wrong (by "charge" I mean ascribing fault), instead of believing that she was wrong.
Many, if not most, people get stuck before stage 1 or somewhere in stage 2. Either I am angry at myself and don't know why (or I know why and don't care), or I am angry with my parents, and stop there. It is scary to actually move beyond the wounded state and into healing. After all, a broken leg might get me more attention or care than if it were fine. I'd actually have to run the race of life a little faster if this leg were healed.
Stage 3
After accepting the story is false and feeling the anger and hurt towards the people responsible, we are then at a place where we can chose to accept the parent with their mistakes. You cannot skip from "the problem is with me" to this stage -- feeling the hurt and anger is essential to healing. Just as healing is personal, so are the decisions once the story is re-told. In my own life, I have chosen not to have contact with my dad, because he continues his destructive habits towards others. At some point, when I start to understand that I actually have value , it makes me a lot less likely to accept or even be around those who would try to deny it. But that is my choice. It is an extreme one, and likely not one you would have to make. What is important is to create boundaries in your life that are consistent with the new, truthful story. The daughter might think, " I am a person of worth and therefore what I have to say is worth hearing. Therefore, if I am interrupted or told to shut up by my dad in the future, I will gently, but firmly confront him and tell him that I am not finished or I want to talk (or arrange for a better time to talk when he will listen). If he does not respect this stance, then I will not talk to him." Our new boundaries will be met with resistance, both by ourselves and others. Our false story will keep trying to reassert itself and we will regularly have to keep reminding ourselves of its falsehood. And other people may have been spoiled to the "door mat" that we were for them that we will no longer be for them.
This is healing. This is when the person has reached a place of maturity, when a wound has been recognized, felt, and healed. This is when an adult acts as an adult, out of genuine wishes, desires, and choices, instead of wounds, false stories, and a battered self image.
Additional Thoughts
I want to emphasize again that the stages I have listed are not complete nor are they necessary in order. Healing is unique to the individual, and your healing will take a very personal route that is specific to you. The main emphasis of this post is that you are a person of value, and if you do not believe that to be true, you are acting and believing a story that is not true . It is worth identifying and seeking healing from such stories so you can live a whole life.
In her excellent book, Becoming Real, Dr. Saltz argues that our childhood stories hold us back from becoming real, authentic, adult individuals. We create our childhood stories in order to survive and harmonize what we experience as we grow up. Let me give you an example:
- A father regularly tells his daughter to shut up when he is home.
- The daughter thinks: there something wrong with me. Here is where our childhood state limits us. We can't blame our parents because we need them. It is a terrifying thing for a child to imagine that a parent is wrong (where else will the child go?). In fact, we almost never do. Please understand that as you read this, you can see that the father is being an ass. But a child rarely will be able to see such a thing.
- Therefore, if the parent is not to blame, then the fault is: me. I am at fault, I am the problem, I am the issue. In the example of the daughter, she will feel that my opinion and words don't matter because I am not important and there is something wrong with me. I am worthless and don't have any value and that is why daddy doesn't want me to talk. It is easy to see this as faulty logic as an adult, but a child does not have such mental competence.
- The daughter will now grow up believing this, even as an adult, and will act in a manner consistent with the "story" (I am not worth being heard) she created as a child.
Stage 1: I am not worth being heard because there is something wrong with me.
Stage 2: My parents were idiots and morons and I hate them. (we have identified that the fault is the dad's, not ours and then we switch our anger)
Stage 3: My parents are imperfect and probably have stories of their own they never dealt with.
Stage 1
We must identify the story and the source of the story -- why do I think this way? What was communicated to me, verbally or non-verbally, in my childhood? Who communicated it to me? What happened that caused it to be communicated to me? What am I believing about myself that may not be true? I identify the story, "Something is wrong with me", and then I identify the story's source, "Dad wouldn't listen to me." Once we have identified both, we can then check our conclusion. Just because dad wouldn't listen to me doesn't mean something is wrong with me. Maybe something is wrong with him ! And so we move to...
Stage 2
The years of anger and frustration we have aimed at ourselves comes boiling out at the people who have hurt us. All this time we have felt the fault is ours. We have discovered we were lied too, or treated horribly. The appropriate anger over this is felt and finally directed (sometimes verbally) at the culprit (and not us). Instead of feeling self-loathing, the daughter now feels anger and hurt from the words spoken to her by her dad. She is angry at him because of how he treated her as a child, and for just cause! I have said before that wounds must be felt before they can be healed. This is a very necessary and important part of the healing process. The caution here is when and if to express this to the parent. The daughter may decide not to discuss this with her dad, either because he is unavailable, or would not be receptive. What matters is that she finally identifies the person who was wrong and charges them with the wrong (by "charge" I mean ascribing fault), instead of believing that she was wrong.
Many, if not most, people get stuck before stage 1 or somewhere in stage 2. Either I am angry at myself and don't know why (or I know why and don't care), or I am angry with my parents, and stop there. It is scary to actually move beyond the wounded state and into healing. After all, a broken leg might get me more attention or care than if it were fine. I'd actually have to run the race of life a little faster if this leg were healed.
Stage 3
After accepting the story is false and feeling the anger and hurt towards the people responsible, we are then at a place where we can chose to accept the parent with their mistakes. You cannot skip from "the problem is with me" to this stage -- feeling the hurt and anger is essential to healing. Just as healing is personal, so are the decisions once the story is re-told. In my own life, I have chosen not to have contact with my dad, because he continues his destructive habits towards others. At some point, when I start to understand that I actually have value , it makes me a lot less likely to accept or even be around those who would try to deny it. But that is my choice. It is an extreme one, and likely not one you would have to make. What is important is to create boundaries in your life that are consistent with the new, truthful story. The daughter might think, " I am a person of worth and therefore what I have to say is worth hearing. Therefore, if I am interrupted or told to shut up by my dad in the future, I will gently, but firmly confront him and tell him that I am not finished or I want to talk (or arrange for a better time to talk when he will listen). If he does not respect this stance, then I will not talk to him." Our new boundaries will be met with resistance, both by ourselves and others. Our false story will keep trying to reassert itself and we will regularly have to keep reminding ourselves of its falsehood. And other people may have been spoiled to the "door mat" that we were for them that we will no longer be for them.
This is healing. This is when the person has reached a place of maturity, when a wound has been recognized, felt, and healed. This is when an adult acts as an adult, out of genuine wishes, desires, and choices, instead of wounds, false stories, and a battered self image.
Additional Thoughts
I want to emphasize again that the stages I have listed are not complete nor are they necessary in order. Healing is unique to the individual, and your healing will take a very personal route that is specific to you. The main emphasis of this post is that you are a person of value, and if you do not believe that to be true, you are acting and believing a story that is not true . It is worth identifying and seeking healing from such stories so you can live a whole life.
Monday, August 27, 2007
HDTV
I did not realize there was a deadline:
Congress passed a law on February 1, 2006, setting a final deadline for the DTV transition of February 17, 2009. Most television stations will continue broadcasting both analog and digital programming until February 17, 2009, when all analog broadcasting will stop. Analog TVs receiving over-the-air programming will still work after that date, but owners of these TVs will need to buy converter boxes to change digital broadcasts into analog format. Converter boxes will be available from consumer electronic products retailers at that time. Cable and satellite subscribers with analog TVs should contact their service providers about obtaining converter boxes for the DTV transition.
Interesting
I found this post to be very interesting. It is a good warning for the upcoming elections next year.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Bush Bail Out?
This is crap.
What is true is that millions of American homeowners' eyes were too big for their wallets and now they can't afford their mortgages. It is not the job of the president, Fed, or anyone for that matter to rescue people from stupidity and greed. And how would the White House bail the millions of homeowners out? With tax dollars, paid for by you and me. So in reality, if this were to happen, you and I would pay for the mortgages of other people who bought more than they could afford.
Famed bond fund manager Bill Gross said the White House should bail out the millions of American homeowners who face the dreaded prospect of foreclosure this year.
What is true is that millions of American homeowners' eyes were too big for their wallets and now they can't afford their mortgages. It is not the job of the president, Fed, or anyone for that matter to rescue people from stupidity and greed. And how would the White House bail the millions of homeowners out? With tax dollars, paid for by you and me. So in reality, if this were to happen, you and I would pay for the mortgages of other people who bought more than they could afford.
Friday, August 17, 2007
Flying
"A categorical refusal to fly often stems from a fundamental belief about life: the idea that "I need safety at all costs." We take a perfectly valid and functional belief, "I want to be safe," and escalate it into an unreasonable demand, "I need an absolute ironclad guarantee of safety." The trouble with this demand is that it causes you to misperceive the odds."
http://www.psychologytoday.com/rss/pto-20070709-000001.html
http://www.psychologytoday.com/rss/pto-20070709-000001.html
Monday, July 16, 2007
Thursday, July 05, 2007
Needs of Men versus Women
In his excellent book, His Needs, Her Needs, Dr. Harley details the top five needs of men and women. The needs below are generally true of men and women, though it is possible to have any of the needs below, or even one not listed.
5 Major Needs of Women:
Affection, Conversation, Honesty and Openness, Financial Support, Family Commitment
5 Major Needs of Men:
Sexual Fulfillment, Recreational Companionship, Physical Attractiveness, Admiration, Domestic Support
Motivation
My therapist asks a question frequently that is finally starting to sink in to my brain. When I am evaluating a choice or action I might make, what is the motivation of my heart? This question can apply to all decisions. And is it uncomfortable! I was reminded of this just now as I thought about something as simple as an email. What is the motivation of my heart in... saying this, doing this, writing this, not saying, doing, or writing this (whatever "this" may be)?
Friday, June 29, 2007
Quotes
I love to read and I come across different things that really hit home with me, so I am starting a regular post category so that I can share these quotes with others. Here are a few that I really enjoy:
It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities. (Professor Dumbledore, Harry Potter)
The behavior of the fully human being is always unpredictable, simply because it is free. (John Powell)
To tell you my thoughts is to locate myself in a category. To tell you about my feelings is to tell you about me. (John Powell)
To my ears a lot of religious exortation seems to be aimed about two to three miles above where most people really live. (John Powell)
A man who would be his sisters keeper must protect every woman first of all from himself, from everything that calls itself love... (George MacDonald)
Every father who loved his children, ought to make them independent of himself, that neither clog, nor poet, nor hindrance of any kind might hamper the true working of their consciences: then would the service they rendered their parents be precious indeed! Then, indeed, would love be lord, and neither self, nor fear of man, nor fear of fate be a law in their life! (George MacDonald)
He loves Thee too little
Who loves anything together with Thee
Which he loves not for Thy sake. (St. Augustine)
In every country where independence has taken the place of liberty, the first desire of a manly heart is to possess a weapon... (Alexander Dumas)
Children always say 'do it again'.. God is strong enough to exult in monotony. It is possible that God says every morning 'Do it again' to the sun; and every evening, 'Do it again' to the moon. It may not be automatic necessity that makes all daisies alike; it may be that God makes every daisy separately, but has never got tired of making them. It may be that He has the eternal appetite of infancy; for we have sinned and grown old, and our father is younger than we. ( G.K. Chesterton)
When it comes time to die, make sure that all you have to do is die. (Jim Elliot)
Be careful, lest in fighting the dragon you become the dragon. (Nietzsche)
It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities. (Professor Dumbledore, Harry Potter)
The behavior of the fully human being is always unpredictable, simply because it is free. (John Powell)
To tell you my thoughts is to locate myself in a category. To tell you about my feelings is to tell you about me. (John Powell)
To my ears a lot of religious exortation seems to be aimed about two to three miles above where most people really live. (John Powell)
A man who would be his sisters keeper must protect every woman first of all from himself, from everything that calls itself love... (George MacDonald)
Every father who loved his children, ought to make them independent of himself, that neither clog, nor poet, nor hindrance of any kind might hamper the true working of their consciences: then would the service they rendered their parents be precious indeed! Then, indeed, would love be lord, and neither self, nor fear of man, nor fear of fate be a law in their life! (George MacDonald)
He loves Thee too little
Who loves anything together with Thee
Which he loves not for Thy sake. (St. Augustine)
In every country where independence has taken the place of liberty, the first desire of a manly heart is to possess a weapon... (Alexander Dumas)
Children always say 'do it again'.. God is strong enough to exult in monotony. It is possible that God says every morning 'Do it again' to the sun; and every evening, 'Do it again' to the moon. It may not be automatic necessity that makes all daisies alike; it may be that God makes every daisy separately, but has never got tired of making them. It may be that He has the eternal appetite of infancy; for we have sinned and grown old, and our father is younger than we. ( G.K. Chesterton)
When it comes time to die, make sure that all you have to do is die. (Jim Elliot)
Be careful, lest in fighting the dragon you become the dragon. (Nietzsche)
Human Brain
The human body is one of the most amazing things God ever built. I think He enjoys us learning about its design, because we keep discovering just how complex it really is. The article below that I have partially quoted from is about researchers trying to simulate the human brain. They are starting with a mouse brain (3,500 times less complex) and finally were able to do what it does in 6 times the time. And to do so, it is "leveraging IBM's technical resources to the limits". How great is our God!
From the article...
From the article...
Their first goal is to build a "massively parallel cortical simulator" that re-creates the brain of a mouse, an organ 3,500 times less complex than a human brain (if you count each individual neuron and synapse). But even this is an undertaking of epic proportions. A mouse brain houses over 16 million neurons, with more than 128 billion synapses running between them. Even a partial simulation stretches the boundaries of modern hardware. No, we don't mean desktop hardware. We're talkin' supercomputers.http://www.pcmag.com/article2/0,1895,2147452,00.asp
So far, the team has been able to fashion a kind of digital mouse brain that needs about 6 seconds to simulate 1 second of real thinking time. That's still a long way from a true mouse-size simulation, and it runs on a Blue Gene/L supercomputer with 8,192 processors, four terabytes of memory, and 1 Gbps of bandwidth running to and from each chip. "Even a mouse-scale cortical simulation places an extremely heavy load on a supercomputer," Modha explains. "We're leveraging IBM's technological resources to the limit."
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Gas price bill
I am concerned that the House passed a bill that gives the FTC more power to punish gas companies for gas prices. What this does in effect is place price controls on the gas companies, which is almost always a bad idea. Price controls create shortages because naturally, if a company is limited to the amount it can charge, it will naturally (based on the free market) divert its supplies to the place with the highest price, and ignore the places with the lowest price. I highly recommend reading Basic Economics by Thomas Sowell for a better understanding.
http://finance.yahoo.com/expert/article/yourlife/34125
http://finance.yahoo.com/expert/article/yourlife/34125
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