Darkness and light

A couple of years ago my friend John attended the men’s group when we were discussing the Every Young Man’s Battle book. He made a statement that has stayed with me and has been something I have come back to frequently. In our discussion of the sins men struggle with, specifically the sexual ones, John said, “darkness cannot survive in the light.” I believe this to be one of the most helpful statements I have heard, and I want to walk through some of my thoughts regarding this.

Sin thrives and grows in darkness. It shrivels and dies when it is brought to the light – of God’s word, of accountability with Christian friends, of real honesty with the self. I have learned that the more I hide my sin, the harder it is to fight it, and the more I lose. The more I am open about my sin to those around me, the easier it is to resist and overcome it.

Men, I want to address you for a second. God holds you accountable for the purity of any relationship with the opposite sex (recall God came to Adam first in the garden). In my opinion, you cannot maintain this alone. It is almost impossible to maintain this purity if you do not have strong accountability in your life. What I mean by this is that you are honest with other men in your life about what physical boundaries you have and how you do each and every time you interact with the opposite sex. Some of you reading this might think this is excessive. “But I see her as holy and a sister in Christ and so I don’t need accountability.” Just wait until you and/or her aren’t in a holy mood and see how well you resist. This is not in reference to my present situation, but just something I have observed and even find myself making sure I am on my guard against. One of the greatest protections I have in my current relationship is the four men in my life who are constantly asking me how I am doing. If you don’t have this, set it up now. Draw the line, set the standard, and keep dragging the darkness into the light so it does not hurt you and the one you are with! Girls, encourage your man to seek and maintain accountability!

Back to addressing everyone. It is a strange thing that bringing light to sin makes it easier to fight. But I have found repeatedly that when I hide my sin, I lose; when I confess it, I start to overcome it. James 5 says we are to “confess our sins to one another and pray for one another, so we may be healed.” It is not so that we can judge each other, but so we aren’t alone. Satan prowls around us like a roaring lion, and a lion on a hunt wants to isolate the prey from the herd. Fight isolation and the tendency to hide.

One of the ways I know I need to be accountable with my boys is by checking how I would feel by telling them what just transpired. If I wince or am embarrassed by the thought, I know I need to tell them, for my pride and flesh are fighting back. And when I tell them, I feel better – because it is brought to the light and I know they are praying for me and are aware of my struggles. This has been one of the better gauges for me to know when darkness is creeping in. Are there things in your life where the thought of telling one of your close friends about it actually makes you feel uncomfortable? It might be time to consider bringing light to darkness.